HALLOWEEN II (2009)

MyRating: BOO...

Director: Rob Zombie

Cast: Scout Taylor-Compton, Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, Brad Dourif, Sheri Moon Zombie, Danielle Harris

MPAA: Rated R for strong brutal bloody violence throughout, terror, disturbing graphic images, language, and some crude sexual content and nudity
US Gross: US$ 33.4 Million

Worldwide Gross: US$ 38.7 Million

I write this review because this was maybe the worst movie I watched last year. It's the sequel of the first remake by Rob Zombie in 2007, from one of the most popular and legendary slasher-horror, John Carpenter's Halloween. After survived from the killing-spree by Michael Myers in the first movie, Laurie Strode (Taylor-Compton) is taken to a hospital for her wounds. However, as Michael Myers is not dead, he hunts her sister down to the hospital. And another massacre begins, as he will kill anyone that is on his way, the nurse, the doctor, the security, everyone.

This movie is really-really bad. Nothing personal with Rob Zombie, because the first movie was still okay for me, but not this one. The story is bad, the dialog is far from clever, and many scenes are just not making any sense and stupid. And worst of all, the characters are very annoying.

Laurie Strode character is the most annoying. Taylor-Compton has made her character become dumb and whiny. It was very frustrating to see her whining, crying and swearing all the time. Yes, she swears a lot. She has totally ruined the character who was played very well by Jamie Lee Curtis in the original version. It is not similar at all with the stronger character portrayed by Curtis. Therefore, it would be better if the name of the main lead in this Zombie's version was not Laurie Strode at all.

The imaginary character of Michael Myers' mother (Sheri Moon Zombie) with her white cinderella dress and white horse, was absolutely unnecessary. I kept asking myself, am I watching a horror movie or a fantasy. It was just laughable. Anyway, the brutal and gory violence are all there in this film.

The showing of Michael Myers' normal real face was also very ineffective. It significantly reduces the charisma of Michael Myers. I don't think people want to see him as a human, but as a monster. That is the way he lives.

And the ending was just not right. Maybe it tried too hard to look clever, but the fact, it was not good at all. That was not even a twist. The using of the popular ballad song at the end of the film, Love Hurts (popularized by Nazareth in 1975) was totally irrelevant. It is a very good song and nice to hear, but the music and lyric has no real connection with the content of this movie. Seems Zombie just put a song he likes. It's like playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in a rock concert.

Rob Zombie has ripped-off the Halloween franchise and killed all its characters. And the result was awful. As Simon Cowell likes to say, "It's a complete and utterly mess". (MJ)

THE SPY NEXT DOOR (2010)

MyRating: BOO...

Director: Brian Levant
Cast: Jackie Chan, Amber Valletta, Billy Ray Cyrus, George Lopez
MPAA: Rated PG for sequences of action violence and some mild rude humor
US Gross: US$ 24.3 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 31.7 Million

Unfunny, childish and stupid movie about Bob Ho (Chan), a retired CIA agent, who finds out that babysitting his next-door girlfriend's three kids is actually tougher than becoming a real spy and fighting bad guys.

This movie is really bad. The actings are terrible, the dialog is a joke, and the whole story is pointless. Even Chan's acrobatic actions cannot save this movie. His slapstick and English make him look ridiculous. (I really hate to say these because I am a big fan of Jackie Chan). The kids are not adorable enough due to the very bad script. And the chemistry between Chan and Valletta is zero, he is just too old for her. The bad guys? Too caricature and so dumb that you wish you could kill them yourself.

Chan surely puts his Hollywood career in jeopardy if he keeps making a movie like this.

Suitable only for KIDS... under five years old. (MJ)