Top Ten Spelling Songs

One of my missions in life now that I'm the world's first official Word Wrestler is to clean up bad spelling on the internet. So to help out, here's ten singalong spelling lessons from rock and pop...

10. Carla Thomas B-A-B-Y

(From 'The Platinum Collection'.)

We'll start with an easy one, and theoretically one of the first words we should all learn to spell. A classic slice of Atlantic soul from Carla.

9. The Fall - C.R.E.E.P.

(From '50,000 Fall Fans Can't Be Wrong: 39 Golden Greats'.)

What kind of creep has got Mark E. Smith's goat?

His oppression abounds, his type is doing the rounds
He is a scum-egg; a horrid trendy wretch

We need more songs with the word "scum-egg" in the lyrics, regardless of the spelling.

8. Jimmy Ruffin - As Long As There Is L-O-V-E

(From Hold On To My Love.)

Another easy one, probably the most spelled song in the history of pop. Few are the artists who spell it L-U-V... most notably Slade, but Noddy Holder's spelling was always atroshuss.

See also L-O-V-E (Love) by Al Green or Edwyn Collins and Orange Juice.

7. Piney Gir - K.I.S.S.I.N.G.

Sadly, I can't find Piney Gir's wonderful sitting-in-a-tree song anywhere on youtube, but you can hear it on her hugely entertaining debut album Peakahokahoo(eat that, spellchecker!)

Mansun are practising the same word, but they spell it K.I. Double S. I.N.G.

6. John Cougar Mellencamp - ROCK In The USA

John Mellencamp spells out a tribute to 60s rock from one of my favourite albums of the 80s, Scarecrow.

5. Pulp - F.E.E.L.I.N.G. C.A.L.L.E.D. L.O.V.E.

Jarvis decides that sex is the best way to teach spelling, on the sleaziest track from Different Class.

And as I'm standing across this room

I feel as if my whole life has been leading to this one moment.

And as I touch your shoulder tonight

This room has become the centre of the entire universe.

4. Tammy Wynette - D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

(From 'Stand By Your Man: The Very Best Of Tammy Wynette'.)

Tammy spells out the words she doesn't want her son to understand in this classic country heartbreaker. Billy Connelly spells the same message a little differently.

3. Noah & The Whale - L.I.F.E. G.O.E.S. O.N.

(From 'Last Night on Earth'.)

Charlie Fink's story about Little Lisa Loony Tunes owes a sizable debt to Walk On The Wild Side, but that doesn't stop it from spelling out one of the catchiest singles of the year.

2. Aztec Camera - How Men Are

(From 'The Best of Aztec Camera'.)

Wait... shouldn't that be H.O.W. M.E.N. A.R.E.?

No, it should be P.E.R.S.P.E.C.T.I.V.E. - definitely the longest word I've asked you to spell today. Roddy Frame handles it with style.

Why should it take the tears of a woman

To see how men are?

1. Aretha Franklin - R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

(From 'Queen Of Soul - The Best of Aretha Franklin'.)

Otis wrote it, Aretha made it live forever.

Find out what it means to me...



This concludes today's spelling test... unless you have anything you'd like to add? Pity no one ever wrote a song called... A.N.T.I.D.I.S.E.S.T.A.B.L.I.S.H.M.E.N.T.A.R.I.A.N.I.S.M.
...or did they?

This Time It's Personal Meme (Part 1)

Stolen from Sunday Stealing...

1. Are you happier now than you were five months ago?

Hmmm... yes. Just about.

2. Have you ever slept in the same bed with someone you shouldn't have?

No. But I have slept in a different bed to someone I shouldn't have. Many times.

3. Can you sleep in total darkness?

Yes.

4. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, the one who got away, what do you say?

"Ms. Winslet? How did you get my number?"

5. What do you think about the weather this summer?

Summer appears to have changed forever, doesn't it? Summer now seems to involve a nice warm May followed by two months of rain, wind and clouds like tarmac - with an occasional teasingly bright spell, but nothing to compare to late Spring.

I'm hoping for a brighter Autumn.

6. How many people do you trust with everything?

I trust no one with everything.

7. What was the last thing you drank?

Black coffee.

8. Is there anyone you want to come see you?

Well, Kate Winslet did just give me a call... but no, I had to turn her down. Again.

9. Name one thing you love about winter?



10. Have you ever dated a Goth?

Sadly not. That's not to say I didn't try, in my younger days, but I was just too miserable for her.

11. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?

Going to see The Expendables.

12. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having?

Work.

13. What's the longest that you have committed to one person and one person only?

As long as it'll be until Louise finally wises up and kicks my ass to the kerb.

14. What’s the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today?

Closed them again.

15. Has anyone ever told you they never want to ever lose you?

Tina Turner and Gloria Estefan. Those girls were always fighting over me.

16. Is there anybody you wish you could fix your relationship with?

Audi drivers. I wish I could fix it so they behaved like civilized, considerate human beings.

17. Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?

I just did. Why, what's wrong with me?

18. Do you think things will change in the next 3 months? How?

Yes. I'll suddenly become an overnight success, after only 20 years trying.

19. Do you believe that you never know what you've got 'til it's gone?

Sadly, yes. Conversely, I also believe you never truly know what you want until you get it.

20. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

Yes. What am I, a neanderthal?