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All right, all right, enough with the Top Twenty Devil Songs... let's have something a bit more FESTIVE, shall we?
How about a Top Ten Santa songs..?
D'oh! Me and my damned dyslexia!
10. The Louvin Brothers - Satan Is Real
An old style deep south country hit that breaks into gospel style preaching about the evils and temptations of modern music and society.
Quite possibly the most bizarre thing you'll hear this week... if you click the link.
No wonder Johnny Cash dubbed himself The Man In Black if this is what the country white hats were singing.
9. Luke Haines - Satan Wants Me
The devil has the best tunes... sounds like he's already got you, Luke.
8. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Satan Said Dance
This song sounds like a Charles Manson recruitment drive to me.
7. Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me
(Or, as the mondgreen has it, "Beelzebub has the devil for a sideboard".)
When I was 16, Queen's biggest hit was among my Top Three Favourite Songs EVER. And that was long before Wayne's World.
6. British Sea Power - No, Lucifer
Why are satanic puppets so disturbing? A nightmarish video for one of BSP's most poppy songs.
5. Cake - Satan Is My Motor
Satan is the only one who seems to understand...
4. Orbital - Satan
I'm not a huge fan of dance music, but this Orbital track stuck in my mind from about 15 years ago because of it's amusingly sampled intro, and I had to recruit the twitter hivemind to help me remember it.
Daddy, what does regret mean?
Well son, the funny thing about regret is,
It's better to regret something you have done,
Than to regret something you haven't done.
And by the way, if you see your mom this weekend,
Be sure and tell her, SATAN, SATAN, SATAN!!!
Apparently, the sample originates from a Butthole Surfers track called Sweat Loaf. Which is nice.
3. Art Brut - Demons Out
In which Eddie Argos kicks Satan's arse.
How can you sleep at night when nobody likes the music we like?
How am I supposed to sleep at night when no one likes the music we write?
Record buying public, we hate them
This is Art Brut vs. Satan
Don't worry, we can take 'em!
2. Ben Folds - Satan Is My Master
About 45 seconds into this short track, Ben Folds is possessed by the devil. It's like Billy Joel meets The Exorcist.
1. Morrissey - Satan Rejected My Soul
Poor old Moz (#4765). Even Satan doesn't want him.
So, my little devils... which Satanic Song do you worship?
For more festive Satanic Santa fun, can I direct you towards this week's Thoughtballoons story? Ryan chose Santa Claus as this week's character... and I did a very bad thing.
