Top Ten Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune & Pluto Songs

OK, following Earth, Mars, Venus and Mercury, I struggled to make a decent Top Ten with any of the other planets in our solar system. So here's the best of the rest, with two caveats...

i) There are no decent Uranus songs. For obvious reasons. And yes, I do include 'Rocket To Uranus' by The Vengaboys when I make that statement.

ii) I know Pluto isn't considered a planet anymore by those who know far better than me. But it's still better than Uranus.



10. Grandchildren - Saturn Returns

More interesting than the R.E.M. song of (almost) the same title. I know very little about this band other than they're from Philadelphia and don't appear to be any relation to Grandaddy.

9. Stevie Wonder - Saturn

Stevie's had enough of all the bad stuff - y'know, wars, murders, people nicking your trolley when you pop to the toilet in Tesco - so he's packing his bags and moving to Saturn, the planet where people live to be 205.

8. Tori Amos - Hey Jupiter

I'm not even going to attempt to tell you what this song is about. It's far too deep for a dumb-head like me.

7. The B-52s - Hallucinating Pluto

Because I have an extremely juvenile sense of humour, I love the fact that the only things written on the youtube page for this song are...

All rights and ownership go to The B-52's.

...and...

penises

6. Train - Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me)

Come on, you'd almost written Train off as a one-hit wonder, hadn't you? I quite liked their new MONSTER HIT, Drive-By, until Louise asked me, "What are you listening to - is that the Jonas Brothers?"

5. The Futureheads - Jupiter

When your life fills you with despair,
You have to believe that there’s good out there
No enemies anywhere
Then you are free

If you're quick, lads, you can share a rocket with Stevie Wonder. He's going in vaguely the same direction.

4. Super Furry Animals - (Drawing) Rings Around The World

A little bit of a cheat, but worth it. A Saturn song in all but name.

3. The Divine Comedy - Neptune's Daughter

When the last course has been consumed
They withdraw to the drawing room
Where the Schubert she plays with style
Keeps her friends happy for the while
But the memories are a burden,
So she draws back both the curtains
Stepping out into the night...

Neil Hannon: the Noel Coward of indie-pop.

2. Donovan - Jennifer Jupiter

What's that, you say? "Juniper"? Don't be daft...

1. The Inspiral Carpets - Saturn 5

Dig that funky Clint Boon organ!

An Eagle lands, and a planet full of people raises its hands
All hail the men who will walk up in heaven today

So, that's the rest of my musical solar system... which would you land on? (Uranus, anybody?)

Top Ten Easter Songs

Everybody has a favourite Christmas song, but poor old Easter always has to make do with second best...

10. Patti Smith - Easter

A classic example of a great album let down (slightly) by its title track. There are far better songs on Easter, but I couldn't really ignore this. She is Patti Smith, after all.

9. The Associates - Tell Me Easter's On Friday

Easter's on Friday, Billy.

8. Mansun - Egg Shaped Fred

I did like Mansun, but this is just a blatant attempt to rewrite I Am The Walrus with added indie guitars. You're not Oasis, lads. (Thank god.) Really should have included this in my Top Twenty 'Na Na' Songs.

7. Ashton, Gardner & Dyke - The Resurrection Shuffle.

This band sound like a firm of accountants and look like a bunch of dodgy plumbers you wouldn't let into your house to fix your washing machine. They made a nice enough racket though. This one might also give you a clue as to where we'll end up...

6. Ricky Ross - Cold Easter

Can't find it anywhere online so you'll have to take my word for it: to quote the late Frank Carson, it's a cracker. (Sorry, wrong religious holiday pun.)

5. Tori Amos - Crucify

In which Tori has just got out of the bath. (Rol waits while Steve goes to check out the video and is inevitably disappointed.)

4. Mott The Hoople - Roll Away The Stone

For those of you who think Mott The Hoople only had one good song (the one Bowie gave them), watch this. Hell, watch it anyway for Tony Blackburn and a Womble.

3. XTC - Easter Theatre

Tasty as a big chocolate egg.

2. Julian Cope - Easter Everywhere

There are long periods in which I forget just how good Julian Cope really is. Then suddenly, I remember.

1. The Stone Roses - I Am The Resurrection

No, but just imagine for one second if Ian Brown had been The Resurrection? Would Christianity really have lasted this long?



So... what's your favourite Easter song?