Top Ten Seaside Songs

Following my Return To Reighton Gap post, this seemed apt. You may be going on holiday soon. You may just have come back. Either way, here's ten seaside songs that might get you in the mood / jog your memories. I could easily have made this a Top 20 or 30 but I'm trying to reign myself in and stop boring your speedos off.

10. Led Zeppelin - Down By The Seaside

(From 'Physical Graffiti'.)

The sea air makes messrs. Page and Plant go all mellow. Nice.

9. Queen - Seaside Rendezvous

(From 'A Night At The Opera'.)

It has the opposite affect on Mr. Mercury, sending him quite, quite bonkers. Not that he has very far to travel.

8. The Kooks - Seaside

(From 'Inside In/Inside Out'.)

I like the way they've recorded the acoustic guitar on this track. It sounds like he's busking on the sea front. Without the seagulls stealing coins from his hat.

7. Kirsty MacColl - He's On The Beach

(From 'The Best of Kirsty MacColl'.)

Poor old Kirsty, she's doesn't have much luck with men. This bloke tells her he's going on holiday without her... next thing she knows she's getting a postcard from the seaside. Sydney, Australia.

And he says it's brilliant there
There's something in the air
There's sunshine everywhere
He's on the beach

Was it something she said?

6. Bruce Springsteen - 4th Of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)

(From 'Greetings From Asbury Park N.J.')

Being brought up in Asbury Park, Bruce had a lot of seaside stories to tell on his early records. This one brings a tear to my eye if I'm in the right mood (melancholic).

Every summer when the weather gets hot
They ride that road down from heaven
On their Harleys, they come and they go
And you can see 'em dressed like stars
In all them cheap little seashore bars
Parked making love with their babies
Out on the Kokomo

I've never been to Asbury Park, but for some reason I imagine it to be like the New Jersey equivalent of Blackpool.

5. Rialto - Summer's Over

(From 'Rialto'.)

A song that obviously owes an enormous debt to our number two record this week (no jumping ahead, kids, we'll get there soon enough). It's no worse off for that.

Kamikaze seagull planes fighting over chip shop take-away remains
When you're walking on the cliffs
You can't help thinking of how far down the sea is
And what if it should give...

Quite beautiful.

4. Squeeze - Pulling Mussels From A Shell

(From 'Greatest Hits'.)

I never really understood the innuendo of this song, but it's obviously a gloriously mucky tale of a holiday romance and what goes on behind the chalet. If anyone wants to explain just what Chris Difford and Glenn Tilbrook mean by "pulling mussels from a shell", you know where the comments box is.

On second thoughts...

3. The Drifters - Under The Boardwalk

(From 'The Very Best of the Drifters'.)

If this song doesn't make you want to go lie on a blanket down by the sea, you're obviously dead from the sunglasses down.

Just be thankful this child of the 80s didn't inflict the Bruce Willis version on you. (One of the first records I ever bought!) Hey, Bruno...!

2. Morrissey - Everyday Is Like Sunday

(From 'Bona Drag: 20th Anniversary Edition'.)

Hands up if you thought this would be number one? Well, yes, it is one of Mozzer's best. And it is wonderfully evocative of those dreary seaside towns where the highlight of the week was sharing some grease tea and celebrating winning a cheap tray on the bingo. But hey, Morrissey - I actually like those tacky resorts. I can think of far better places to bring down your nuclear bombs. Is is really so bad that Every Day Is Like Sunday?

1. Beach Boys - Surfin' USA

(From 'Surfin' Safari/Surfin' USA'.)

I'm sure that seaside holidays are completely different kettles of fish in the USA, but nothing says sun and sand and sea to me more than the Beach Boys and nothing gets me more in the mood for a holiday. I'm waxing down by surfboard as I type...

(No, that's not a Squeeze-esque euphemism, Steve!)



So those were my bucket and spade / sandcastle / ice cream on the beach songs... but what song reminds you of seaside holidays gone by... or gets you in the mood for future ones?

Top Ten Songs About The 70s

So following my trawl through the 50s and 60s, we finally reach the decade that gave us Showaddywaddy, The Love Boat, Pong, Margaret Thatcher, bell-bottoms, the three day week and... me.

As already established, this isn't my Top Ten Songs From The 70s (hence no Born To Run at #1), just songs about that dismal decade...

10. Josh Rouse - 1972

Let's begin in the year of my birth with this wistful ditty about two young lovers caught between smoking pot and playing pool in the afternoon, working nights at the drive-thru, and screwing in a motel room all the rest of the time. None of which I did myself in 1972, given that I was 0.

9. The Connells - 74-75

I was the one who let you know
I was sorry ever after
74-75

Don't look at me, I was just a toddler.

It amuses me that when you type "Connells" into wikipedia it takes you to a page about a British estate agent, with a small link saying "Do you mean the American rock band?" Their marketing team must be working overtime.

8. Alice Cooper - Teenage Lament 74

A song actually written and recorded in the year it describes, though the experience of being a teenager trapped in a home with squabbling parents and dreaming of rock 'n' roll escape is pretty much timeless (I'm sure Samuel Pepys covered it in his own teenage diaries).

I ran into my room
And I fell down on my knees
Well, I thought that fifteen
Was gonna be a breeze
I picked up my guitar
To blast away the clouds
But somebody in the next room yelled
"You gotta turn that damn thing down!"

7. Smashing Pumpkins - 1979

Billy Corgan is scary. Look at him in this video. No, look at him. Why has no one ever cast him as a vampire in a really scary horror film? Eh? Because it wouldn't get past the censors, that's why.

Even scarier is the pun-ishing name of the album this came from: Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. Ouch.

6. Chris Difford - 1975

Like Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire, Chris traces his life as a songwriter, beginning in '75. It's a much more personal journey than Joel's This Day In History romp, and yet, through all the ups and downs of fame and fortune, Squeeze's top man still has to conclude, "I've never been so happy as 1975." There's a lesson there somewhere.

5. The Ataris - Summer '79

Ten years after Bryan Adams had his moment in the sun, the Ataris turn up to celebrate roller-rinks, air hockey tables and "We Are The Champions". Given that Bryan Adams was only 9 in the Summer of '69 and the Ataris didn't form until the mid 90s, they were probably foetuses duruing the year in question. Then again, I had some of my happiest times as a foetus...

4. Ryan Adams - 1974

From the underrated Rock 'n' Roll album - at the time, everybody said "it's not as good as Heartbreaker or Gold", but that's only because they hadn't heard some of the dreck he's released since. That said, given that this song is all about the year of Ryan's birth... he's still achieved a heck of a lot more with his life than I have, and I had a two year head start!

3. The Alarm - Spirit Of '76

Anthemic guitar pop from the valleys... could the Alarm be the 80s Manics? If you're in the right frame of mind, this song could bring a tear to the eye. If you're in the wrong frame of mind, those tears will be buffeted by laughter.

2. Ed Harcourt - Born In The 70s

Another autobiographical piece from another performer younger than myself...

I was born in the year punk broke
Days before the king was dead

I'm old enough to remember Elvis's death on the TV (though for some reason, Lennon's death a couple of years later failed to register). Ed Harcourt appears to view the 70s as the birth of the Me-Generation that would rise to power in the 80s...

Born in the '70s
(No, we don't really give a fuck about you)
Born in the '70s
(No we don't really give a fuck about you)

1. The Clash - 1977

And while Ed was crawling round in his nappies, Joe Strummer and co. were really not giving a fuck. There was no Elvis, no Beatles and no Rolling Stones in 1977 - just The Clash. And the toilet didn't work.



Anyone who leaves a "but I wasn't even born in the 70s, Rol, nyah nyah nyah" comment wins a very special price. A Silver Jubilee tankard. To the face.

But... what's your favourite Song of the Seventies?

Top Ten Coffee Songs

Went into Cafe Nero today. Ordered my usual black coffee to take out.

"Would you like a biscotti to go with that, sir?"

"Tell you what, call it a fucking bisCUIT and I might."

As mentioned a couple of weeks back, I'm back on the drugs. Specifically caffeine. And for no other reason than because I didn't have enough room in my Top Ten TV Songs for Blur... here's my Coffee Countdown.



10. Johnny Ray - Coffee & Cigarettes

Poor old Johnny Ray
Sounded sad upon the radio
Moved a million hearts in mono...

If it's good enough for Kevin Rowland, it's good enough for me.

9. Otis Redding - Cigarettes & Coffee

Some of the greatest songs ever written take place in the wee small hours of the morning, yet typically they're written from the point of view of a lonely, down-at-heel loser who's only companion is a whiskey glass. Otis bucks that trend by writing a small hours love song. They're just sitting here talking over cigarettes and coffee - with Otis on the stereo.

8. Crash Test Dummies - Afternoons & Coffee Spoons

The song that proves Crash Test Dummies weren't just an annoying Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm One Hit Wonder.

7. All Saints - Black Coffee

All Saints, Rol?

Really?

I'm a big fan of the classic girl-groups - from the Supremes to the Shangri Las... and for a second - just one second - All Saints came closer than most to recapturing and updating that sound. Ultimately they failed, but give them some credit...

6. Richard Thompson - Java Jive

From Richard Thompson's epic trawl through 1000 Years Of Popular Song, here he takes on The Ink Spots' 1940 hit. You know the one.

"I love coffee, I love tea, I love the Java Jive and it loves me..."

5. James - Coffee & Toast

Recorded in the original sessions for the Pleased To Meet You Album, this was subsequently relegated to b-side status when Brian Eno stepped on board the good ship James as producer. A shame, because this would have been the best track on the album. Perhaps Tim Booth realised this - he quit the band for 7 seven years after its release.

4. Squeeze - Black Coffee In Bed

Featuring Paul Young and Elvis Costello on backing vocals, another of those songs that reminds you what a great lyricist Chris Difford is.

3. Blur - Coffee & TV

The song that broke Blur and persuaded Graham Coxon a solo career was beckoning? Could be.

2. Prince - Starfish & Coffee

Prince goes into Cafe Nero...

"Hello sir, can I take your order."

"Yes, I'd like Starfish and coffee, maple syrup and jam, butterscotch clouds, a tangerine and a side order of ham, please."

"Certainly sir. And would you like a Biscotti with that too?"

"Call it a fucking bisCUIT and I might."

Soulwax do a cracking cover of this song too.

1. The Clint Boon Experience - White No Sugar

The man on the mac in Macedonia
Hits on the girl with the fully loaded PC in DC
This is definitely a new revolution

Mr. Boon - play that tune!



So that was my caffeine fix - what's yours?