Top Ten 40 Songs

It was inevitable, wasn't it?

10. The Enemy - 40 Days and 40 Nights

The Enemy go for a walk to the supermarket and find themselves snowed out. While they're away, someone else shacks up with their girlfriend for 40 days and 40 nights. Meanwhile, they band is left sleeping in a petrol station. I wish I was making this up.

9. Badly Drawn Boy - 40 Days, 40 Fights

After which time, Damon lets The Enemy have her back.

8. The Donnas - 40 Boys In 40 Nights

While on tour, the Donnas make a bid for the Guinness book of records. This leaves them little time to see the sights.

7. Duane Eddy - 40 Miles of Bad Road

Obviously recorded before David Cameron's revolutionary, can't-fail plans to privatise road mending. 40 miles? Try 40,000...

6. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes - 40 Day Dream

Edward Sharpe's been sleeping 40 days, in which time he's been mostly dreaming about the Beatles. Not scrambled eggs, more magical mysteries...

5. Franz Ferdinand - 40'

In which Franz Ferdinand stand atop a cliff, contemplating a 40 foot leap... come on, lads, it's not that bad - surely? It's not like you've just turned 40 or anything.

4. Ocean Colour Scene - 40 Past Midnight

I consider this more a homage to Let's Spend The Night Together than a direct rip-off. Mick 'n' Keef never actually sued, so...

3. Johnny Cash - When It's Springtime In Alaska (It's Forty Below)

Good job The Enemy don't live in Alaska - they'd never have got home.

2. Robert Palmer - Top 40

Batley Bob shows Bublé how this sort of thing should be done... long before Bublé was any more than a bubble.

1. Mercury Rev - Opus 40

A thing of beauty. If being 40 is anything like this song, it'll be a glorious, epic adventure...

How I Spent My 40th Birthday...

...because one day I might look back on this blog as a record of the significant events in my life. Where was I when I turned 40?

Well, the day began in the JobCentre+. Sadly, my signing-on day fell on my birthday. I got there nice and early so as to get it out of the way and get on with my big day.

"Sorry, mate," said the bloke on the door, "you can't go in till 10 minutes before your signing on time."

"You've let me in 15 minutes before my signing on time in the past."

"Are you arguing with a jumped-up jobsworth? Wait another ten minutes."

The first question I'm normally asked during my signing on sessions is my date of birth, as proof of my identity. (As if anyone else would want to sign on in my place - it's not as though I even get Jobseeker's Allowance any more. I only sign on so they'll pay my NI.) I was therefore ready for a bit of banter about my special day and how lovely it was to be starting it amid the disenfranchised. Typically, today was the day I got - rather than a polite chat about my job-seeking activity followed by a swift signature and home - the Spanish flippin' Inquisition. No time for pleasantries. Still, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Not even on their 40th birthday.

The rest of the day was much more enjoyable, although plans for lunch with family at my mate's restaurant were altered slightly when my Mum & Dad had to drop out. Unfortunately my mum had a bad fall yesterday and has cracked a rib. She seems pretty chipper, but I hope she'll be OK, and the fall won't damage her independent spirit.

The lunch itself was good - though I did eat far too much. The world's biggest burger. Tasty, but I suffered afterwards. Still, I can't overindulge on the drink anymore, so food's my fallback option.

Then back home for a nap - hey, I'm an old man now... napping is the future. Plus, I did only get about three hours sleep last night. Worrying about the big 4-0? Maybe. But what's the point in that?

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.



I also received Happy Birthday emails from Saint Etienne, Keane (!?) and Bon Jovi. Which was nice of them. Thanks to all the real people who sent good wishes too.

Life Begins At 40...

So they tell me.

Guess I'll find out today.

Here's an appropriate song...

Countdown To 40: A Song A Year - Thirtysomething Else

In the last ten years, all the really good music ran screaming from the charts and founds its audience underground. Is that the sound of a 40 year-old muso talking? Perhaps. Perhaps that's what 40 year old blokes have always thought. But I remember all those 40 year old blokes buying Blur and Oasis albums and feeling like a teenager again 15 years ago. And that's how I feel when I listen to the latest by The Indelicates, Cosmo Jarvis or Frank Turner. The difference is none of those artists ever bother the single chart. Because people don't buy singles in the same way they used to. Does the singles chart truly represent what's popular in music anymore? Wiser minds that mine have tried to puzzle that one out. And that's not why I'm here today. I'm just here to conclude my countdown to...

In case you missed 'em:

The first ten years...

The troublesome teens...

20 Is The New Teenage...

And now - the last ten years...


31 (2003) The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army

I surprised myself with this one. I'd pretty much given the year to Stacy's Mom, the ultimate 80's AOR throwback anthem from the mighty, mighty Fountains of Wayne. And then I remembered this little ditty, with the greatest guitar riff of the 21st Century (so far). Damn it if Jack White doesn't steal the crown. But the FoW boys came close.

Do you really care what was Number #1 on my birthday in 2003? For completeness' sake, I'll tell you. Gareth Gates featuring The Kumars - "Spirit In The Sky". I'm starting to regret having a birthday right after Comic Relief.

32 (2004) Morrissey - First Of The Gang To Die

A helluva year to judge. Bowling For Soup's 1985 might have stolen it (even though that does say more about the 80s than the noughties). Or what about Shatner & Rollins together? What do you mean you can't get behind that? OK then, how about Bill's Common People duet with Joe Jackson? Not convinced? Philistines.

You Are The Quarry was Morrissey's great comeback moment, bristling with attitude and energy. He's made better records, but none that managed to catch the zeitgeist in quite the same way. For a moment, he was an international superstar, and First Of The Gang was his tribute to an adoring Mexican fanbase. Not bad for a Stretford lad with Irish Blood & English Heart, or an album that was mostly a great big f-u to his many "enemies" (real and imagined).

In the charts? Cha Cha Slide by DJ Casper. Me neither.

33 (2005) Arctic Monkeys - I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor

"Don't believe the hype," says Alex Turner as he introduces this - a genuine Number One hit single in both the singles chart and mine. Wow - how often does that happen? This takes us back to the days when the internet could actually break a new band. Before everybody jumped on that wagon.

A number of songs came close - my favourite Eels track, Things The Grandchildren Should Know; my favourite HMHB tune, For What Is Chatteris...; even Martha Wainwright's touching tribute to her father, Bloody Motherfucking Asshole; and, of course, anything from Art Brut's glorious debut album. Particularly appropriate would be Bad Weekend, because... well, popular culture no longer applies to me.

Speaking of which: my birthday chart #1? McFly. Less offensive than the rest of this decade.

34 (2006) The Dixie Chicks - Not Ready To Make Nice

There was fierce competition from Jarvis, Guillemots and the Arctic Monkeys. Among others. Not Ready To Make Nice sprang from a battle between the Dixie Chicks and George W. Bush and ended as the Dixie Chicks versus the whole of conservative America. And somehow the Dixie Chicks won. If you don't know the story behind it, it's worth reading this. For that alone, they deserve 2006. Plus, it's nice to have a country record in this chart. Variety is the spice, etc. etc.

35 (2007) Dan Le Sac Vs. Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt Always Kill

Thou shalt not think any man over the age of 30 who chooses a "hiphop" track as his favourite song of the year is just trying to be cool.

Thou shalt judge this on its own merits, not your own prejudices.

Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music.

Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music.

Thou shalt give equal worth to the De La Soul remix.

Thou shalt not look at yourself in the mirror while you're crying: your eyes already know.

Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.

Thou shalt always kill.

For 60 of my favourite songs from 2007, you can go here. This process gets a whole lot easier now I have a blog to refer back to. The Manics almost clinched the top spot with an amazing single from an incredible album at a point in their career when most bands are winding down and coasting on former glories. It even made #2 in them there meaningless singles charts. But it didn't rewrite the Ten Commandments like Scroobius did.

At #1 in them there meaningless singles charts? Sugababes vs Girls Aloud - "Walk This Way". Another Comic Relief song, I suspect. I'm just glad I've never heard it.

36 (2008) The Indelicates - We Hate The Kids

This record made me feel that same teenage passion for music I'd felt at different points in my life for Bruce, The Smiths, Jarvis et al. If the singles charts truly represented what it feels like to be a teenager, then this song would have been Number One for a year. If the NME had any balls (oh, look, is that Noel Gallagher on the cover again - how cutting edge), The Indelicates would be on the front every week. My favourite single of the 21st Century from my favourite album of the 21st Century by my favourite band of the 21st Century. Not some croaky old fuddy duddies I've been listening to all my life, but a bright, young, vibrant band bursting with ideas and attitude and intelligence.

Every generation gets fooled again
And every generation is to blame...

The rest of 2008 can be found here. Apologies to Elbow: in any other year, One Day Like This would have made it.

(We Hate The Kids might originally have been released as a single prior to 2008, but I only discovered it as part of the Indelicates' debut album, American Demo, and that's why it's here. Just in case you're a pedant.)

And in the charts? Basshunter featuring DJ Mental Theos - "Now You"...

No more music, thank you and goodnight.

37 (2009) Frank Turner - Try This At Home

'Cause there's no such thing as rockstars
There's just people who play music
And some of them are just like us
And some of them are dicks
So, quick turn off your stereo
Pick up that pen and paper
Yeah, you can do much better
Than some skinny half-arsed English country singer

Many of my other favourite songs from 2009 can be found here.

And at #1 in the charts as I turned 37? Another Comic Relief single. A good song, by a comedian I like, but I still prefer the original.

38 (2010) Cee Lo Green - Fuck You

It could have gone to either Frank or The Indelicates again, but I still think the greatest pop single of 2010 was this. (And it was a genuine pop hit too - though swearing always helps that.) Maybe I'm just a sucker for combining classic Motown production values with cuss words. Maybe you think I should have grown out of this record by now? You know what I say to that?

Many more of my favourites from 2010 can be heard here.

And at #1 in the unreal world? Pass Out by Tinie Tempah. At least it's not another bloody Comic Relief song.

39 (2011) Lana Del Rey - Video Games

Once again, both Frank Turner and The Indelicates could have swiped the crown, as could Cosmo Jarvis, Fleet Foxes, Noah & The Whale... any of the artists on this list. But I'd be lying if I didn't choose the most mesmerising record of last year. The album's pretty good too - though it does remind me of Like A Prayer era Madonna a lot more than I expected. Nothing wrong with that though, Like A Prayer era Madonna is my favourite. Nothing on the record is quite as "Joni Mitchell sings in a Twin Peaks bar" as this one song though.

And last year's Number One on the 19th of March? Just The Way You Are (Amazing) by my popstar doppleganger, Bruno Mars. Hoorah!

Which brings us to 40. No idea what my favourite record will be this year... and I don't really care what'll be at #1 as my life finally begins next Monday. Because, you know what? I hate the kids, I'm not ready to make nice, a seven nation army couldn't hold me back, I shalt always kill and I'll probably be the first of the gang to die. Anyone spot a theme? In that case, I'll leave the last word to Cee-Lo...

Countdown To 40: A Song A Year - 20 Is The New Teenage

The first ten years...

The troublesome teens...

And now, part 3 of my Countdown to...

21 (1993) Aimee Mann - I Should've Known

If I were being retroactive, I'd pick something like OU or Razzmatazz from the Pulp: Intro album, but sadly I didn't discover Jarvis till the following year. I did discover Aimee Mann in '93 though and even chose her debut solo record, Whatever, as my album of the year. Mr. Harris is probably my favourite track from that disc now, but this is the one that made me love Aimee at the time.

Meanwhile, the singles chart had fallen off a cliff. Number One as I got the key to the door? Oh Carolina by Shaggy.

22 (1994) Morrissey - Now My Heart Is Full

And I just can't explain so I won't even try to

Jarvis almost made it home once again, I could have gone with just about anything from His 'n' Hers. But then there's Vauxhall & I. Could this be Morrissey's finest 39 minutes as a solo artist?

I told you the birthday number ones just get worse and worse. March 19th, 1994? Doop. By Doop. Sadly, not this one...

23 (1995) Pulp - Common People

All hail Britpop, and its greatest hero finally makes it home. I could have chosen Sorted For E's & Whizz, but I'd just be being contrary.

Meanwhile in the charts... Love Can Build A Bridge by Cher, Chrissie Hynde, Neneh Cherry and Eric Clapton. Who all should have known better.

24 (1996) Ocean Colour Scene - The Day We Caught The Train

At last, proof that my favourite singles don't always come from my favourite albums. This was the year of Everything Must Go, Beautiful Freak and Murder Ballads... yet the song that most reminds me of my second stab at being a teenager is this exuberant blast of sunshiny retro-pop from Ocean Colour Scene. Hard to believe they were the first band I ever saw live.

Meanwhile, back in the charts... How Deep Is Your Love? Shallow, when it comes to the Take That version. Not so shallow they couldn't drown a few Gibb brothers in it.

25 (1997) Blur - Song 2

Blur were a great singles band and this was their greatest moment. Two minutes of noisy power pop that never fail to make me go "Woo hoo!" While Radiohead, The Verve and Gene were darkening my long player collection, Damon and the lads kept me smiling. This year's runner-up was a hymn to optimism from James: Tomorrow.

And in an alternate reality to my own, The Spice Girls were having their 4th Number One as I reached my mid-20s. I can't even remember the title.

26 (1998) The New Radicals - You Get What You Give

Another song that stands out by not belonging to one of the year's best albums. 1998 gave us my favourite record of the 90s, Pulp's public breakdown on This Is Hardcore. But the single of the year belongs to Gregg Alexander, a man who hated being a rock star so much he went off and wrote songs for Ronan Keating.

Sadly, I can't find my other favourite single of 1998 on youtube. Child Psychology by Black Box Recorder must be too dark for the video collective.

March 19th 1998, the Number One was It's Like That by Run DMC vs. Jason Nevins. Which is a damn sight better than we've managed throughout the rest of this decade so far.

27 (1999) Travis - Why Does It Always Rain On Me?

I thought long and hard about this one. It would have been so much cooler to pick something by The Magnetic Fields (69, my favourite album of '99), The Flaming Lips or even Ooberman, but as much as Fran Healey has damaged his limited rep by writing MOR-pap for the last 10+ years, this is still a perfect gloomy-pop song that captures a snapshot of my life in 1999. I remember watching them play it live at a festival just before they went big, in the rain. Perfect.

Besides, it could have been worse. I could have chosen my last birthday Number One of the 20th Century. Boyzone murdering Billy Ocean. When The Going Gets Tough... the tough put their hands over their ears and go lalalalalalalala.

28 (2000) Everclear - Wonderful

Neither of my two favourite singles of 2000 meant much to the public at large. I've written about Black Box Recorder's The Facts Of Life before, but Wonderful by Everclear is a curio. An American band who have never bothered the British charts, this is their greatest moment. More upbeat power-pop packed with smiley hooks, handclaps and a 'na-na-na' chorus... masking a dark lyrical undertow.

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

Far less Wonderful, my first birthday chart-topper of the 21st Century: Bag It Up by Geri Halliwell. WTF? Is that Geri singing about her shopping? I'm not sure I've ever even heard that record. I am sure I never want to.

29 (2001) Eels - Souljacker Part 1

Ben Folds came close with Rockin' The Suburbs, but this rocks harder.

And on my birthday? Pure And Simple by Hear'Say. The charts are officially dead.

30 (2002) The Flaming Lips - Do You Realise?

The song I want playing at my funeral. Kind of apt for my 30th birthday?

But as I actually turned 30, Will Young was at Number One, marking the funeral of the singles chart as we knew it. Simon Cowell slaughtered the damned thing before our very eyes.

Ten more years to go...

Countdown To 40: A Song A Year - Teenage Wasteland

So the countdown to March 19th continues (one in the eye for all those who believe we'll have to wait till December 21st for the 2012 apocalypse) and I'm back to picking one song for every year of my life so far.

These were my choices from 1972 - 1982... and now, on with the show.

11 (1983) Yes - Owner Of A Lonely Heart

What!? I hear you scream. You chose this over A New England or any of the songs on your favourite Costello album, Punch The Clock? I know, it's shocking, isn't it? I was never a huge Yes fan but this one album - this one song - soundtracked so many of my teenage memories. It's partly that killer riff, partly the sentiment (I was that Owner Of A Lonely Heart), partly John Anderson's angelic vocals... and yeah, partly the Trevor Horn sheen. It's not one man and his guitar singing an out of tune song about how all the girls in his school were already pushing prams: it's impossible to compare the two. But it'd be a few more years before I fell for Billy Bragg. When I was 11, this rocked my world.

Speaking of which, Number One in the charts on my 11th birthday? Another Jim Steinman classic. Turn the pomp up to 11 with Total Eclipse Of The Heart. Brilliant.

12 (1984) Bruce Springsteen - Glory Days

This is where it starts to get difficult. Do I pick a song that would mean more to me in later life, something from The Smiths or Rattlesnakes by Lloyd Cole? Or do I go with my gut and settle for the one album that screams 1984 louder than anything else in my head? Not the best Bruce album, but certainly the most iconic. And when you're 12 and only just finding your pop feet, that's all you want.

Meanwhile, if I'm feeling old, I just need to look at Bruce Springsteen in this video. God, he looks about 12 - and yet, he'd been making records for well over a decade by the time he finally made the big time.

At number one on my final pre-teen birthday? Lionel Richie, Hello. At least it wasn't I Just Called To Say I Love You.

13 (1985) Huey Lewis & The News - The Power Of Love

Oh god, when will he get past his American rock phase, you're wondering? Not just yet. Huey Lewis was another of my teenage heroes, helped along by Michael J. Fox and his DeLorean. Yes, this was the year of How Soon Is Now, and if I'd opened my ears properly I might have realised Morrissey had written that song just for me. But despite my teenage moodiness, I had an optimistic spirit and Back To The Future was my teen movie. Well, that and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Huey and the gang made three great albums prior to this one... and never came close again. Maybe that's what sent my tastebuds off in other musical directions?

It could be worse. The Number One that marked my ascent to teenagerdom? Easy Lover by Phil Collins and Philip Bailey.

14 (1986) The Smiths - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

Well, it couldn't really be anything else, could it? Even though I wouldn't properly appreciate this song for a good few years, it probably had a bigger impact on my life than any other record in my collection. It made me love The Smiths and forgive Morrissey anything. Back in '86, I was listening to far more Fore!, Graceland, Slippery When Wet and A Kind Of Magic. But The Queen Is Dead became my retrospective teenage anthem. It's hard to believe I didn't love it when it first came out.

By the way, if There Is A Light... hadn't been released in 1986, it wouldn't have been replaced by any of the records above. No, this year's runner up, and the song that most reminds me of teenage school discos, is Caravan Of Love by The Housemartins. Just in case you were wondering.

Number One as I turned 14? Chain Reaction by Diana Ross (with a little help from the Bee Gees.) Now that's what I call music.

15 (1987) Prince & Sheena Easton - U Got The Look

So many records say 1987 to me, yet it's hard to pick just one that stands out above the rest. Too much choice. My two favourite albums of the year are Tunnel Of Love and Strangeways, Here We Come yet neither produced a truly iconic single. I was tempted by Barcelona, Livin' On A Prayer or Sweet Child O' Mine, but while I don't rate Sign O' The Times the album as highly as many critics (though it's title track probably does say more about 1987 than most other songs released that year), this was the single that finally made me love the little purple freak.

My birthday Number One at 15? Everything I Own, a watered down cover version of an old reggae standard by a past-his-prime Boy George. Hardly one of the year's musical highlights.

16 (1988) Morrissey - Every Day Is Like Sunday

Damn it, I really wanted to give this one to Billy Bragg and Waiting For The Great Leap Forwards, but it doesn't quite compare to trudging slowly over wet sand back to the bench where your clothes were stolen. What does?

On the day I reached the age of consent (not that anyone would consent back for a good few years), the ironic Number One was I Should Be So Lucky by Kylie Minogue, a hideous slice of SAW-ed off landfill pop. And do you want to know something even worse? I actually bought the damn thing. I must have been desperate...

17 (1989) Del Amitri - Nothing Ever Happens

The late 80s were a dire time for music, though I still managed to find plenty to keep me going. As with the best of his songs, Justin Currie's debut hit combines apathy with misanthropy in a way few other artists could or would ever attempt. For 1989, it was this or I'll Sail This Ship Alone.

Meanwhile at Number One on March 19th, Madonna reached her artistic pinnacle with Like A Prayer. IMHO.

18 (1990) The Inspiral Carpets - This Is How It Feels To Be Lonely

This is how it feels to be 18. This, November Spawned A Monster and Birdhouse In Your Soul paint a curiously accurate picture of my last year of A Levels. Happy 18th!

Meanwhile, topping the charts on my birthday? Dub Be Good To Me by Beats International. I liked him in the Housemartins, I even dug Fatboy Slim, but this one wasn't a Norman conquest for me.

19 (1991) Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band - The Fire Inside

An unusual choice for the year that brought us Smells Like Teen Spirit and Losing My Religion, but this has long been one of my favourite songs. Elvis Costello almost stole the year with The Other Side Of Summer, but in the end Bob is Number One with a Bullet Band.

And on my 19th birthday? The Stonk by Hale & Pace. Bloody hell.

20 (1992) Bruce Springsteen - Human Touch

I went with my gut on this one. Neither of the two albums Bruce released in 1992 are among anybody's favourites. There were far better records released this year - including Automatic For The People, It's A Shame About Ray and Generation Terrorists. But this track carries a kind of crushed yet hopeful romanticism that's always made it stand out for me. I guess it reminds me of being 20 more than any of the above.

My 20th Number One birthday song was Stay by Shakespeare's Sister. Morrissey gets the last word in as usual.

Back next week with the run-up to my 30th.

Countdown To 40: A Song A Year - The First 10 Years...

So, March 19th 2012. That's the date. The date my life finally begins. I can hardly wait. Maybe Marvel will call me up and ask me to write Spider-Man, Morrissey and Bruce will pop round for a coffee and Kate Winslet will pop round for... unlikely, really, what with Louise's shotgun and everything.

Or perhaps it'll just be another day like all the rest.

To mark the countdown to this momentous milestone, I thought I'd look back on my life so far through the medium of song. Some time ago, I ran a feature here called My Life In Music in which I chose a favourite album for every year I'd been on this earth. This will be sort of like that, except this time it'll be just a single song. It won't necessarily be my favourite song from each particular year... but one that's meant more to me throughout my life than most others released that year.

0 (1972) Harry Nilsson - Without You

The record that was at Number One as I came squealing out into the world on that grey Sunday lunchtime. Although this was Harry Nilsson's biggest hit, he's made far better records and this one was both overplayed and then tragically eviscerated by Mariah Carey. I've always been a huge Nilsson fan though, so I'm happy to settle on this as my original birthday tune.

1 (1973) Billy Joel - Piano Man

As I turned one, the record at the top of the charts was Cum On Feel The Noize by Slade. A fine tune, even if I always had issues with Noddy's spelling. But the autobiographical Piano Man was Billy Joel's first big hit and one of the records that first attracted me to his songwriting as a teenager. Yes, I was that cool.

2 (1974) Harry Chapin - W.O.L.D.

Another great singer-songwriter of the 70s, Harry Chapin never matched the level of fame achieved by Joel or even Nilsson, but his excellent story songs always manage to bring a smile to my face or tear to my eye. W.O.L.D. is probably his best known track, the story of a has-been DJ... I'd meet plenty of those once I started working in radio.

Number One as I turned 2? Billy, Don't Be A Hero by Paper Lace. I can live with that, given that my first name is William, though I always preferred The Night Chicago Died.

3 (1975) Bruce Springsteen - Thunder Road

Could this be the hardest choice I'll have to make on this countdown? In any other year, the winner would have been Bohemian Rhapsody. Hands down. Queen were my first big band as a kid and Bo Rap just blew me away. And then a few years later, I discovered Bruce. Born To Run and this. Two songs from my favourite album of the 70s, a record that has meant more to me than just about any other in my life.

So you're scared and you're thinking that maybe we ain't that young anymore

Number One on my third birthday? Bye Bye Baby by The Bay City Rollers. Oh.

4 (1976) Queen - Somebody To Love

So I had to pass on Queen last year - hopefully this will make up for it. One of the most joyous songs about being a sad sack lonely bones I've ever heard. Thank you, Freddie, this one kept me going throughout my teens.

Cheesy disco at #1 as I turned four: I Love To Love by Tina Charles. I wouldn't necessarily turn off the radio if that came on. You become more tolerant of old cheese as you become an old cheeser yourself.

5 (1977) Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell

Ah, Jim Steinman, another hero of my teens. Nothing succeeds like excess. I don't care what you say, this record bleeds rock 'n' roll all over your carpet.

Number One on my 5th? Chanson D'Amour by Manhattan Transfer. A ratty-tatty-tat.

6 (1978) The Boomtown Rats - Rat Trap

As with Bat Out Of Hell, here's another song that owes more than a little debt to Born To Run. For about five minutes there, Bob Geldof was the Irish Springsteen. Then he lost his muse and went off to try and save the fookin' world.

I'm 6. If you're coming to my birthday party, you might hear today's Number One song playing from my sister's record collection. Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush. Fantastic.

7 (1979) Elvis Costello - Oliver's Army

Another of my early songwriting heroes - though like Bruce, Billy and Jim I didn't really discover him till I was a teenager. Costello gleefully admits he stole the jubilant piano chords in his biggest hit from Abba. That's the way to do it.

My 7 year itch birthday song? I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor. Excellent.

8 (1980) Robert Palmer - Johnny & Mary

Because I might not have room to squeeze Batley's finest in to my countdown later in the decade, here's one of his finest moments. I was a huge Robert Palmer fan growing up - he left us far too soon.

Alternatively, I might gone with Hungry Heart, Geno or Ashes To Ashes... or perhaps even the Number One as I turned 8: Going Underground.

9 (1981) Queen & David Bowie - Under Pressure

The bassline not even Vanilla Ice could kill. And here's my confession: I almost gave this year to Making Your Mind Up by Bucks Fizz. Not because it's a record I've spent a lot of time with over the years, but at 9 years old I thought it was just about the coolest thing ever. And not just that bit when the girls tear off their skirts... although that might well have been the first time I showed an interest in such things.

Number One at 9? Jealous Guy by Roxy Music. Better than the Lennon version.

10 (1982) John Cougar Mellencamp - Jack & Diane

And yet another Man Who Would Be Bruce. I've always loved this track - I think it might be the combination of power riff followed by acoustic plink. That and the romantic Americana... though it was years before I understood what "sucking on chilli dogs outside the Tastee Freez" really meant. Oh, and the mid-song drum-breakdwn before JCM goes into his glorious gospel refrain. There's so much to love about Jack & Diane. No wonder it edged out Come On Eileen and the entire contents of Nebraska...

Oh yeah, life goes on
Long after the thrill of living is gone

As I hit double figures, the song at the top of the charts was The Lion Sleeps Tonight by Tight Fit. Which is a good point to pause as any... I'll be back soon with my terrible teens. And some songs from Manchester, I reckon...