So, March 19th 2012. That's the date. The date my life finally begins. I can hardly wait. Maybe Marvel will call me up and ask me to write Spider-Man, Morrissey and Bruce will pop round for a coffee and Kate Winslet will pop round for... unlikely, really, what with Louise's shotgun and everything.
Or perhaps it'll just be another day like all the rest.
To mark the countdown to this momentous milestone, I thought I'd look back on my life so far through the medium of song. Some time ago, I ran a feature here called My Life In Music in which I chose a favourite album for every year I'd been on this earth. This will be sort of like that, except this time it'll be just a single song. It won't necessarily be my favourite song from each particular year... but one that's meant more to me throughout my life than most others released that year.
0 (1972) Harry Nilsson - Without You
The record that was at Number One as I came squealing out into the world on that grey Sunday lunchtime. Although this was Harry Nilsson's biggest hit, he's made far better records and this one was both overplayed and then tragically eviscerated by Mariah Carey. I've always been a huge Nilsson fan though, so I'm happy to settle on this as my original birthday tune.
1 (1973) Billy Joel - Piano Man
As I turned one, the record at the top of the charts was Cum On Feel The Noize by Slade. A fine tune, even if I always had issues with Noddy's spelling. But the autobiographical Piano Man was Billy Joel's first big hit and one of the records that first attracted me to his songwriting as a teenager. Yes, I was that cool.
2 (1974) Harry Chapin - W.O.L.D.
Another great singer-songwriter of the 70s, Harry Chapin never matched the level of fame achieved by Joel or even Nilsson, but his excellent story songs always manage to bring a smile to my face or tear to my eye. W.O.L.D. is probably his best known track, the story of a has-been DJ... I'd meet plenty of those once I started working in radio.
Number One as I turned 2? Billy, Don't Be A Hero by Paper Lace. I can live with that, given that my first name is William, though I always preferred The Night Chicago Died.
3 (1975) Bruce Springsteen - Thunder Road
Could this be the hardest choice I'll have to make on this countdown? In any other year, the winner would have been Bohemian Rhapsody. Hands down. Queen were my first big band as a kid and Bo Rap just blew me away. And then a few years later, I discovered Bruce. Born To Run and this. Two songs from my favourite album of the 70s, a record that has meant more to me than just about any other in my life.
So you're scared and you're thinking that maybe we ain't that young anymore
Number One on my third birthday? Bye Bye Baby by The Bay City Rollers. Oh.
4 (1976) Queen - Somebody To Love
So I had to pass on Queen last year - hopefully this will make up for it. One of the most joyous songs about being a sad sack lonely bones I've ever heard. Thank you, Freddie, this one kept me going throughout my teens.
Cheesy disco at #1 as I turned four: I Love To Love by Tina Charles. I wouldn't necessarily turn off the radio if that came on. You become more tolerant of old cheese as you become an old cheeser yourself.
5 (1977) Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell
Ah, Jim Steinman, another hero of my teens. Nothing succeeds like excess. I don't care what you say, this record bleeds rock 'n' roll all over your carpet.
Number One on my 5th? Chanson D'Amour by Manhattan Transfer. A ratty-tatty-tat.
6 (1978) The Boomtown Rats - Rat Trap
As with Bat Out Of Hell, here's another song that owes more than a little debt to Born To Run. For about five minutes there, Bob Geldof was the Irish Springsteen. Then he lost his muse and went off to try and save the fookin' world.
I'm 6. If you're coming to my birthday party, you might hear today's Number One song playing from my sister's record collection. Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush. Fantastic.
7 (1979) Elvis Costello - Oliver's Army
Another of my early songwriting heroes - though like Bruce, Billy and Jim I didn't really discover him till I was a teenager. Costello gleefully admits he stole the jubilant piano chords in his biggest hit from Abba. That's the way to do it.
My 7 year itch birthday song? I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor. Excellent.
8 (1980) Robert Palmer - Johnny & Mary
Because I might not have room to squeeze Batley's finest in to my countdown later in the decade, here's one of his finest moments. I was a huge Robert Palmer fan growing up - he left us far too soon.
Alternatively, I might gone with Hungry Heart, Geno or Ashes To Ashes... or perhaps even the Number One as I turned 8: Going Underground.
9 (1981) Queen & David Bowie - Under Pressure
The bassline not even Vanilla Ice could kill. And here's my confession: I almost gave this year to Making Your Mind Up by Bucks Fizz. Not because it's a record I've spent a lot of time with over the years, but at 9 years old I thought it was just about the coolest thing ever. And not just that bit when the girls tear off their skirts... although that might well have been the first time I showed an interest in such things.
Number One at 9? Jealous Guy by Roxy Music. Better than the Lennon version.
10 (1982) John Cougar Mellencamp - Jack & Diane
And yet another Man Who Would Be Bruce. I've always loved this track - I think it might be the combination of power riff followed by acoustic plink. That and the romantic Americana... though it was years before I understood what "sucking on chilli dogs outside the Tastee Freez" really meant. Oh, and the mid-song drum-breakdwn before JCM goes into his glorious gospel refrain. There's so much to love about Jack & Diane. No wonder it edged out Come On Eileen and the entire contents of Nebraska...
Oh yeah, life goes on
Long after the thrill of living is gone
As I hit double figures, the song at the top of the charts was The Lion Sleeps Tonight by Tight Fit. Which is a good point to pause as any... I'll be back soon with my terrible teens. And some songs from Manchester, I reckon...
