I've been openly mocking Nicolas Cage's new film, Drive Angry 3D, since I saw the first poster.
Especially considering the woeful travesty that was the fat-faced, Elvis-voiced goon's last flick, Season Of The Witch.
Especially considering I hate the current obsession with forcing unnecessary (and really quite shoddy) 3D fx into every single big budget pic Hollywood churns out these days. (I read the other day that Baz Luhrmann's adaptation of The Great Gatsby* is even going to be filmed in 3D... WTF?)
Especially considering it has one of the worst titles of any movie released this century...
So, with all that in mind, why the hell did we go see it?
Because we're fools. Fools, I tell you, crazy fools!
Because I've seen nothing but worthy, intelligent Oscar contenders over the last few weeks and I needed some trash.
And because sometimes, shit films can be fun.
But do you know what? Drive Angry 3D isn't as bad as you think it will be. It's actually a big cheesy helping of B-movie fun. If you enjoyed Tarantino & Rodriguez's Grindhouse double bill, this shares a similar lineage and combines the best elements of both.
The premise is straight out of a 70s shlockbuster. Nicolas Cage has escaped from hell to take revenge on the sneeringly evil cult leader who killed his daughter and stole his only grandchild. (Yes, Cage is now old enough to play a grandpa. Cut him some slack on the fat face.) Along the way he hooks up with sexy, spunky waitress Amber Heard who drives some huge slab of speedy American-made metal and needs help dealing with her abusive redneck boyfriend. Cage also tries his best to steer clear of a demonic accountant played with scenery-chomping glee by William Fichtner (you know, the guy Hollywood always hire when they can't afford Christopher Walken). Much car-chasing, truck-exploding, shotgun-blasting mayhem ensues, all in the worst possible taste, punctuated by crass-but-funny one-liners and heavy rock power chords. It's utter nonsense, but it knows it. And you can't fault it for that.
Only two things disappoint. One is the cameo by NYPD Blue's Charlotte Ross (aka the third Mrs. Sipowicz) as a trashy waitress who gets to have sex with Cage while he kills a gang of attacking meatheads. It's a cute scene and there's nothing wrong with Ross's performance, it's just a shame to see her reduced to this kind of role, botox and all.
And then there's the 3D. Which I still think both gratuitous and distracting. I'd much rather have watched the film without it, though sadly we weren't given that option. And I still resent having to pay an extra £3 to watch a movie in a format that actually makes the visual experience less distinct, harder to follow, and much less enjoyable. But I appear to be in the minority on that one.
Still, against all odds, Drive Angry 3D delivered. I even appreciated the character names - Milton (Cage), Piper (Heard) and Webster (an unexpected cameo from David Morse). More thought went into this picture than you'd ever have expected... but let's face it, you weren't expecting much.
*Sadly, that wasn't a joke.
