Thoughtballoons - Blonde Phantom

This week Thoughtballoons features our first female hero, and by far the most obscure character we've yet had to come up with a 1-page adventure for. Blonde Phantom was a pulp heroine introduced in the 1940s by Timely Comics (the original name for Marvel). Louise Mason was a mild-mannered secretary of PI Mark Mason by day... and a sexy crime fighter by night.

This was a great opportunity to write something I've never tried before - a locked room mystery. But would I be able to pull it off in one page? I remembered the old Mike Mist Minute Mysteries that used to run in Ms. Tree courtesy of Max Allan Collins and Terry Beatty, so I knew it was possible. You be the judge of whether I succeeded...

Read my one-page Blonde Phantom mystery by clicking here, then be sure to check out what the other writers have done with the character.

Next week, it's my turn to pick. Oh, who shall it be...?

Off The Wagon

I have a confession to make.

After years of restraint, circumspection and self-discipline, I have slipped.

I have fallen off the wagon.

I'm drinking again.

No. Not alcohol. (Sorry, Penelope.)

Not alcohol, but almost as bad.

The dreaded bean.

Coffee.

I managed to kick the habit three years ago, fighting my way through the withdrawal headaches to the point where I actually believed I didn't need it anymore. But there's nothing compares with the smell of freshly brewed coffee in a morning (not even napalm), and I've been lured back in. Maybe I needed a little drug abuse to help me deal with the back pain. Whatever my excuse, I'm drinking again. And though it's only a couple of times a week, I can feel the addiction digging in its claws.

I'm limiting my abuse to proper coffee only. Filter coffee, never instant. Which means I only drink when I'm out or visiting my folks, occasionally at home (via cafetiere)... and every now and then, from a coffee shop.

This morning I had to take my car in for a new exhaust. With an hour to kill, I drifted into town and found myself besieged by coffee shops. I'd actually intended to go record shopping. Louise found a band on the Glastonbury coverage we both thought sounded pretty cool (The Avett Brothers) and I thought I'd pick up their CD. I remember when I was a kid, a trip into town offered a myriad of possible music outlets. Now there's only sad old HMV. The lone survivor of the high street music decimation. And did they have the disc? Did they buggery. No record shops then... but thousands of coffee shops. Everywhere you look. Starbucks. Cafe Nero. Costa Coffee. Merrie England (!) Not to mention the independents. There's a coffee shop on every corner. How do they all stay in business? Are we that addicted?

I chose an independent. The last time I visited Starbucks I was disturbed to discover their takeaway cupholders are made from 'post-consumer fibre'. How Soylent Green is that? I liked the look of this place though, and the fact that the owner was playing (and singing along to) Gene as I walked in. His patter was slick too - "there you go, young man" - till I realised it was just his standard routine. You feel less enamoured by someone addressing you as "young man" when he gives the same line to the pensioner following you in the queue. But then it happened. The thing I've found keeps happening, ever since I started frequenting coffee shops again...

It's always the same. I walk in and make my order. I've never been one for mocha-frappa-bollocksa-chinos. My needs are simple. I just want a plain black coffee. So that's all I ask for...

"Regular black coffee, please."

Is that not clear enough? Is there some room for misunderstanding? No? So please, someone tell me, why do I keep hearing the same question whenever I ask for a regular BLACK coffee...?

"Do you want milk with that?"

Seriously. Is it just me?

KNIGHT AND DAY (2010)

MyRating: YYY1/2

Director: James Mangold
Cast: Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Peter Sarsgaard, Paul Dano, Jordi Molla, Viola Davis, Maggie Grace
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for sequences of action violence throughout, and brief strong language

Tom Cruise has been in the rough spot for years, since his jumping couch drama in The Oprah Winfrey Show. That has become an iconic moment in the movie history (like the wind blew Marilyn Monroe's skirt off in "The Seven Year Itch" or Audrey Hepburn smoked her long pipe in "Breakfast at Tiffany's", and for Tom Cruise, it was in "Oprah"). I believe people will never forget that moment for many years to come, no matter for the people who hate him or for the ones who love him. Many also dislike him for his belief and religion. And the impact is distinct, we can see that his star power is diminishing, if we rate him by his box office success in the last several years. He seems to be no more a 'box office success guarantee' as he used to be in his wonder years, with his successful movies like Top Gun, Rain Man and Mission: Impossible. And years after the couch incident, his image doesn't seem to get better. Having said all that and knowing all the hatred that Cruise has received, I would like to start my review by saying that, I like Tom Cruise. I think, and I believe, that he is a great actor, maybe one the best that Hollywood ever has.

Knight and Day follows the story of Roy Miller (Cruise), a secret agent with an unbelievable surviving skills, who purposely bumps into June Havens (Diaz), an ordinary woman in an airport, to secretly put something very important inside her suitcase, in order to pass through the airport security gate. That thing is a perpetual energy battery called the Zephyr, created by a genius inventor, Simon Feck (Dano), which can be used as a powerful weapon. The battery is being wanted by many parties, including the CIA, with the agent in charge Agent Fitzgerald (Sarsgaard) and a Spanish arms dealer, Antonio (Molla). And unexpectedly, June is dragged into an adventure with Roy to protect the battery and the inventor, and escape the killers. It's the most dangerous adventure that June ever has to experience, and she is the most beautiful woman Roy ever has to protect.
This is a fun summer action movie with a strong cast. Both the actors, Cruise and Diaz, made it worked. And their good chemistry and funny dialogs made this movie enjoyable to watch. Cruise is perfect as Roy Miller. He is such a charismatic actor. It's good to see him having fun in this movie with his 'I can handle anything' attitude. Every time he said, "Don't worry, I can handle this!" in every difficult situation, the whole audiences in the theater laughed.

Diaz was also great in this movie. I am never a fan of Diaz because of the typical characters that she has played for years, which is the happy smiling girl, silly, ignorance, loud and a bit dumb character. For years, she has been stuck in many roles which were somehow similar to Mary in There's Something About Mary and her role in Charlie's Angels. Actually she is not a bad actress, but she has made many wrong choices of films in her career. However, she is very funny in this movie and I like her a lot. And I think, she is the perfect choice for June Havens's role, which made the theater giggled throughout the movie. I have to admit that she is great in a comedic role, if she gets the right character.
The actions were also fun. Mostly were mindless actions. So, don't put yourself too serious when watching the actions scenes, because the comedic aproach of this movie makes any kinds of actions become possible and valid. No one needs to protest when seeing Cruise jumping from one running car to another running car, or when he shoots and kills many enemies while walking openly towards them, or when he coolly walks toward Diaz to kiss her in a very critical situation, with bullets hissing around him. The most memorable scene was the stunt of Cruise and Diaz on a motorbike in a chasing scene. But the action scene that I liked the most was the fighting scene between Cruise and a half dozen men in the airplane at the early of the movie.
Cruise and Diaz, with their great personalities, sparked throughout the movie. They were the reason I watched this movie and I did not feel regret, because it was one good entertainment. (MJ)

30 Songs - Day 8

Day 08 - A Song You Know All The Words To

A sad fact widely known
The most impassionate song
To a lonely soul
Is so easily outgrown
But don't forget the songs
That made you smile
And the songs that made you cry
When you lay in awe
On the bedroom floor
And said : "Oh, oh, smother me Mother..."

So sang Morrissey in his tribute to those long teenage hours spent studying lyrics. How many hours did I spend on my bedroom floor, lyrics sheet in hand - or, on those frustrating occasions when no lyrics sheet was provided, headphones on, writing them out myself, listening to that one line over and over again to work out... just what were they singing? Kids these days don't know how lucky they've got it, in a world where most songs give up their mystery at the click of a mouse. I'm glad I grew up when I did.



One of the songs I spent longest on as a teenager was Don McLean's American Pie. Ostensibly a song about the death of Buddy Holly, whole theses have been written about the many supposed references that pepper the song's 8.33 running time. Was Bob Dylan the Jester? Elvis the king? Was it Lennon or Lenin who read a book on Marx? Was that a reference to Altamont? Is Mick Jagger satan? Or are some people reading far too much into it?

When asked what American Pie really meant, Don McLean quipped, "it means I never have to work again". Seems like a pretty good deal to me. Being that he also gave us Vincent and Castles In The Air, his retirement is well-deserved.

True Things About Me

“This is the story of a woman brave enough to risk it all” says the blurb, which makes Deborah Kay Davies’ debut novel True Things About Me sound like some kind of dramatic, bodice-ripping romance or courageous struggle against adversity. It’s the kind of nonsense I’d expect to find on a Barbara Cartland or Mills & Boon… and it does little to prepare the reader for this disturbing insight into the mind of a woman on the verge of breakdown, lured into an abusive, destructive relationship. I’m not entirely sure what drives the heroine to follow this path. Is she so bored with her life she’s looking to spice it up with danger? Is it the irresistible allure of the bad boy? Or does she have such a poor self-image that any attention is better than none? Davies never makes it entirely clear, though I suspect it’s a combination of all three. Despite this question the novel remains frighteningly plausible and Davies carefully balances the darker moments with unexpected humour and a quirky world view that makes our self-destructive narrator a strangely endearing character throughout. You may well cheer when she finally takes positive action to extricate herself from these dire circumstances… but you may also wonder why it’s taken her so long.

“The story of a woman brave enough to risk it all”? Or a woman stupid enough to not know what’s good for her? You decide…

TOY STORY 3 (2010)

MyRating: YYYY

Director: Lee Unkrich
Voice: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Ned Beatty, Don Rickles, Michael Keaton, Wallace Shawn, John Morris
MPAA: G

You know you will have fun when you decide to watch a PIXAR's movie. PIXAR's movies always have great and wonderful stories, like no other studios did. Not DreamWorks (Shrek series), nor Blue Sky (Ice Age series). And PIXAR's animated graphic is the most sophisticated and beautiful of them all. Seems that PIXAR is never short of brilliant writers and creative hands (and innovative brains). PIXAR's movies also always have good messages to convey about life, and they always touch you in the heart with a strange way, again and again, leave you with a heartwarming feeling, inspiration and hopes. And all those aspects are the keys that (always) make a PIXAR's movie a WINNER!

This third installment of Toy Story has become a winner before it was even being released. The fans welcomed it with joys when the filmmaker announced to make the third movie (after the first Toy Story/the first PIXAR's movie in 1995 and Toy Story 2 in 1999). They put a very high hope in the movie and many have predicted it will win the Oscar for Best Animated Film next year (again when before the film was even being released). However, those all hopes are not without reasons. I have given you all the reasons above and in my previous article about PIXAR. A PIXAR's movie always delivers... and it never disappoints.

Woody (Hanks), Buzz Lightyear (Allen) and the gang are back with their charms. Andy has grown up and now is about to go to college, and he has to leave his toys behind. When he decides on which toys to be brought with him to college and which toys to be left behind in his house's attic, the toys are somehow accidentally being dumped, and they finally end up in a children daycare center. Imagining that they will be played again with loves by children, gives the toys new hopes. They think that being dumped by Andy is not that bad at all. But the hopes quickly turn into horrors when they are being played with extreme brutality by the toddlers. To make things worse, they have to suffer from the cruel treatments by the toys' ruler in their new place, Lotso (the teddy bear) and his henchmen. When the pains are becoming too much to handle, the toys decide that they have to band together, escape the place, and find a way back to Andy's home. Their home.

This is a great come back by the toys. The movie is fun and enjoyable. The kids will definitely love this movie, so will the adults. People who have fallen in love with Woody, Buzz, Jessie, Mr. Potato Head, Rex and other toys will find themselves falling in love with them all over again. And in this third movie, there are even more new toys. And PIXAR is an expert in creating lovable characters. The story itself was very good in continuing the stories of the first two movies. PIXAR never loses ideas to make a good story. The story moved fast from one scene to another, gave the film so much dynamic, as you have to catch with the agility of the toys and the story. And it has many funny moments to be cheered in the theater.

PIXAR never leaves the audiences without giving them a touching scene. There are two memorable scenes for me. The first one is when Bonnie, the little girl (a really lovable new character they created), plays with her toys in her bedroom with all her pure love and heart as a child. It made me remember myself when I was a child and how I played with my toys with the same love. Not only the little girl character hit the mark, but also how PIXAR personified her character hit the mark, as we all have been there as a child, therefore, we can exactly feel it. And I bet, when you were watching that scene, somewhere in your heart must have missed those moments when you were a child.

The second one was the most touching scene in the movie, when Andy has to leave for college and stop by Bonnie's house. That scene gave the biggest impact of the overall movie. Without that scene, the movie may not have left us the same feeling. I believe many people will cry (at least in their hearts) when watching that scene. It was so powerful... and clever. That's why people love PIXAR.

If just, I can turn back time and becoming a child again. I mean it. Even for one day, just to feel those feelings again. That was how powerful those two scenes impacted me. (MJ)

Top Ten DJ Songs

A long time ago, in a whole other lifetime, I used to write and publish a comic called THE JOCK. In it, a group of rebel DJs fought for freedom and real music in a world where mindless corporate muzak had become the opiate of the masses. A book where the hero was a DJ...? Why not write a comic about a super-powered traffic warden or altruistic ambulance-chasing lawyer while I was at it? No wonder it didn't catch on.

During my 20+ years in the radio industry, I've known a hell of a lot of DJs. Some of them have gone on to fame and fortune, some have gone on to proper jobs. Some have even been intelligent, sincere, modest, warm-hearted and normal. For every Chris Evans, there's a Mark Radcliffe or John Peel. Well, there used to be. The true DJ is a dying breed, for some of the reasons found in song below... here's my tribute.

10. Faithless - God Is A DJ

There are thousands of dance songs about DJs, but most are about club DJs rather than radio. Still, the principle is the same I suppose - someone passionate about music, passionate about sharing that music with the world. Faithless is as close as I ever got to dance music. If my God was a DJ, he'd mostly play songs with real instruments and proper lyrics. I guess I'm just an old-fashioned guy.

9. The View - Wasted Little DJs / Face For Radio

Who knows why Scottish band The View are so obsessed with DJs that they wrote two songs about them on their debut album ? Perhaps it was a ploy to get their records played?

The same record for the 16th time
Exact same set you did the last time round

Hmm... perhaps not.

8. David Bowie - DJ

I am a D.J.
I am what I play
I got believers
Believing me

The DJ as cult (sp?) of ego... as only Mad Dave McMad could do it.

7. Soulwax - Too Many DJs

"Everybody wants to be the DJ" sang Soulwax. Well of course we do. We all believe our own tastes in music are far superior to those of anyone else.

The ironic thing is that Soulwax now seem to far prefer being DJs themselves, rather than actually recording any new records. Which is a shame.

6. Tom Petty - The Last DJ

Back when I started working in radio, I had aspirations to be a presenter myself. Soon after that, free choice was taken away from the majority of jocks and replaced by music testing, focus groups and playlists. That was what spurred me into creating The Jock and convinced me it wasn't the career for me. (Well, that and the fact that I have a shit voice.)

Well you can't turn him into a company man
You can't turn him into a whore
And the boys upstairs just don't understand anymore
Well the top brass don't like him talking so much
And he won't play what they say to play
And he don't want to change what don't need to change
And there goes the last DJ
Who plays what he wants to play
And says what he wants to say
Hey, hey, hey

5. The Hold Steady - Most People Are DJs

Everyone's a critic and most people are DJs

I know it's not what this song is about... but can you come up with a better eight word definition of the internet?

4. Donald Fagen - The Nightfly

Amazingly, I can't find the original of this Donald Fagen classic anywhere on the net. Lots of middle-aged blokes playing it in their bedrooms though...

I'm Lester the Nightfly
Hello Baton Rouge
Won't you turn your radio down
Respect the seven second delay we use

I used to work on a phone-in show. Spent my nights telling people to turn off their radios before they went on air. And calling the police to deal with all the nutters and attempted suicides...

3. Harry Chapin - W*O*L*D*

Harry Chapin. Genius. Three words that should always be used in close proximity.

A plea from an old, drunk DJ to the ex-wife who doesn't want him back...

Got a spot on the top of my head, just begging for a new toupee
And a tire on my gut from sitting on my...
But they're never gonna go away
Sometimes I get this crazy dream
That I just drove off in my car
But you can travel on ten thousand miles and still say where you are
Been thinking that I should stop this jocking
And start that record store
Maybe I could settle down and you'd take me back once more...

2. The Smiths - Panic

Come on, you knew it was coming. You're only surprised it's not number one.

Hang the blessed DJ!

1. Mark Germino - Rex Bob Lowenstein

Tom Petty's isn't the only last DJ. When Hartlanberg's Rex Bob gets told what to play by the boys upstairs, he's locks himself in the studio and goes out fighting.

Now, one day a man in a pinstriped suit
Took the owner of the station to a restaurant booth
His pitch was simple, "you’ll increase your sales
If you only play the song list we send in the mail."

He guaranteed a larger audience
Less confusion and higher points
"But your drive-time jock won’t get to do his thing.
Hey he’s not half bad, tell me, what’s his name?"

For all those wondering what happened to Buggles and Video Killed The Radio Star... I'm saving that for my Radio Top Ten... which is looking more like a Top 40 at the moment. Kinda fitting. In the meantime... what's your favourite DJ song?

Back & Forth

The back problems continue.

The MRI scan I had a few weeks ago showed up a large broad-based central disc protrusion just above the base of my spine. My GP suggested I see a specialist as I may need an operation to correct this. Being that this whole thing has been going on 9 months now, I decided to pay for a private consultation to speed up the process (rather than waiting another few weeks for one on the NHS). It cost £150, which isn’t cheap, and I certainly couldn’t afford to pay for a private op… but at least I could get a quick answer.

So on Tuesday I drove to the poshest hospital I’ve ever seen. So posh they have three guys waving you into your parking space. So posh the lifts look like they belong in a 5 star hotel. So posh the second there weren’t enough chairs to seat everybody in the waiting area, a member of staff rushed off to find extra chairs. So posh I was seen, within 5 minutes, by a doctor who made Doug Ross look like Jonathan Ross. I felt pretty out of place in my Incredible Hulk T-shirt, I can tell you.

It was all very thorough. All very professional. But at the end of the day, I’m no nearer any kind of solution.

“We could operate, but we’d be operating mainly to deal with the pain in your leg. It wouldn’t have any effect on the pain in your back.”

The pain in my leg is caused by the misplaced disc pressing on my sciatic nerve. But it’s a pain that comes and goes. It’s a secondary by-product of the main problem, and if I just had the pain in my leg, I’d happily deal with it by taking a couple of anti-inflammatories every time it flared up. The main problem, the one that causes me the most discomfort, the one that prevents me from standing still for more than two or three minutes without pain, the one that's seriously curtailing my gigging life – that’s the problem in my back. But no operation can solve that. All I can do is wait for my spine to become used to the new position of the disc, and over time that pain should then subside.

On the one hand I’m disappointed. I really hoped there might be a clear-cut solution. On the other hand, I’m relieved. I didn’t want an operation – even a 5% risk is too much, and much as I hate my job I’d feel bad having to take up to 6 weeks off work, as though I was letting down my colleagues. But I’m not ready to give up just yet. There are still other things I can try…

Next stop… chiropracty.

(Sceptics, leave your comments at the door.)

Thoughtballoons - Superman

This week's Thoughtballoons character requires no introduction... so I shan't give him one...

...other than to say I'm not a huge Superman fan. There are a number of reasons for this, but the two biggest reasons form the basis of my own one-page script this week. It's a little bit of a cop out... but it's all I could come up with. As the title says, Writers' Block Is My Kryptonite. For some slightly more super Superman stories, check out the scripts by the other guys too.

IT'S (THE FABULOUS) PIXAR!

Why do people love PIXAR's movies?

For fifteen years, PIXAR has made many CGI-animated feature films that were associated with excellence, high quality and outstanding creativity. All of its movies have met with critical and commercial success, praised by the critics and loved by the audiences.

PIXAR Animation Studios is one of the most critically acclaimed film studios of all time. It began in 1979 as the Graphics Group, part of the Computer Division of Lucasfilm. In 1986, it was acquired by Steve Jobs, Apple co-founder. It was the first studio which introduced a full CGI-animated movie with its Toy Story in 1995. The very beautiful three-dimensional animation amazed people when Toy Story was released. The excellence graphic animation was something people have never seen before at that time. The success of PIXAR with its CGI-animated films was then followed by other studios, such as DreamWorks (with Shrek in 2001) and Blue Sky Studios (with Ice Age in 2002). It also slowly marked the end of the conventional two-dimensional animated movies era of the popular Disney. In 2006, The Walt Disney Company bought PIXAR for approximately US$ 7.4 Billion stock deal. The acquisition definitely strengthens both companies, as they become a stronger force. The branding of the films made post-merger is "Disney•Pixar", starting with Cars in 2006 as their first post-merger film.

So, if I was asked, why I love PIXAR's movies? Then, I will give 3 reasons:

1) PIXAR's movies have wonderful stories.

A PIXAR's movie always has a great, awesome and solid storyline. Their writer team is so brilliant in creating a story that is original, unique, fun, clever, deep in value, inspiring, engaging, captivating, touching and heart-warming. This is the reason why people keep falling in love again and again with PIXAR. Watching a PIXAR's movie is like having a complete experience, you see it with your eyes, you feel it with your soul, and you love it with your heart! Do you remember how Up made you feeling blue and crying to tears? How the friendships in Toy Story and Monsters, Inc. touched your heart? Or how the sacrifices of a father in finding his son across oceans in Finding Nemo teached you an important family value? How about dreaming a big dream in Ratatouille, as you can be anything even if you are a rat? Or feeling the sadness of the solitary heart of a robot in Wall-E? They even made a total fun superhero movie with incredible superheroes in The Incredibles. The fact is PIXAR never disappointed their fans, as they never compromised with quality. In the awards sector, PIXAR has won a handful of awards for their movies, including winning 5 times Oscar for Best Animated Feature Film of the Year. And years after years, PIXAR is even getting better and better.

2) PIXAR's movies have tons of lovable characters.
A good animated story is not enough without funny and interesting characters. And PIXAR is an expert in creating those characters. But different from most animated movies, PIXAR's characters have more in depth and rich in feeling, like a real human being, no matter whether it is a toy, a bug, a monster, a fish, a rat, a robot, or even a car. And their human characters can project real and engaging feelings, more than many films with real humans in them.
You will smile and laugh with the characters in the times of happiness, but when the sadness part come, it will stab you directly in the heart and leave you crying. That what makes PIXAR's characters (and stories) so amazing. At the end, those characters will stay with you forever.

3) PIXAR's movies have the most sophisticated graphic animations.

It is unarguable that PIXAR has the best CGI animation until now. The graphic animation is so sophisticated and beautiful. The colors are so sharp and rich, and the graphics are so details, which make the characters becoming alive. For years, PIXAR has always taken the front lead in the CGI animation (as well as the solid stories), and they never fell behind. They seem to be unstoppable by other studios. Their closest competitor, DreamWorks, is still one step behind. Watching a PIXAR's movie is like having a feast for the eyes.

To satisfy your excitements for PIXAR, below are the complete 10 films of PIXAR (from 1995 t0 2009), before Toy Story 3 :

1) TOY STORY (1995)

MyRating: YYYY

Director: John Lasseter
Voice: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen

Budget: US$ 30 Million
US Gross: US$ 191.8 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 362.0 Million

PIXAR US Box Office Rank: 9/10 PIXAR Worldwide BO Rank: 10/10
(1/10=the highest; 10/10=the lowest)

Academy Awards:
- Won Special Achievement Award (John Lasseter) for the development of the first feature-length computer-animated film.
- Nominated for 3 other Oscars (Best Original Screenplay, Best Original Score & Best Original Song).
Woody, a cowboy sheriff, is Andy's favorite until Buzz Lightyear, a space-ranger, comes into Andy's life to become his new favorite toy. Driven by jealousy, Woody gets into a fight with Buzz, and Buzz is accidentally fallen out of the window. Being accused by all the other toys of killing Buzz, Woody has to go out of the house to look for Buzz and bring him back to Andy's room. But on the way to get home, they have to face all kind of troubles of the dangerous real life outside the house.

2) A Bug's Life (1998)

MyRating: YYYY
Director: John Lasseter & Andrew Stanton
Voice: Dave Foley, Kevin Spacey
Budget: US$ 45 Million
US Gross: US$ 162.8 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 363.4 Million
PIXAR US Box Office Rank: 10/10PIXAR Worldwide BO Rank: 9/10

Academy Awards:- Nominated for Best Original Score.

Every year, a bunch of grasshoppers come to the anthill to eat the offering that the ants have gathered for them. One day, a misfit inventor ant named Flik accidentally drops the whole offering seeds into the river. When the grasshoppers come, they become furious, but they give the ants a second chance to collect food until fall or worse things will happen. Flik sets off to find help from bugs that are willing to fight the grasshoppers and he returns home with a circus crew, giving everybody false hope. When everybody realizes the mistake, there is only little time left before the grasshoppers return.

3) TOY STORY 2 (1999)

MyRating : YYYY1/2

Director: John Lasseter, Ash Brannon & Lee Unkrich
Voice: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen

Budget: US$ 90 Million
US Gross: US$ 245.9 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 485.0 Million

PIXAR US Box Office Rank: 5/10
PIXAR Worldwide BO Rank: 7/10
Academy Awards: - Nominated for Best Original Song.

While Andy goes off to a summer camp, Woody is accidentally placed in a yard sale and kidnapped by a greedy toy collector. Buzz Lightyear and all of his toy friends are then out of the house to the dangerous real world for a rescue mission, to bring Woody back to the house. In the new place, Woody meets with other toys, including Jessie, the cowgirl. But Woody is about to be sold to Japan. Can his friends save him in time before it is too late and will they be separated forever?

4) MONSTERS, INC. (2001)

MyRating: YYYYY

Director: Pete Docter, David Silverman & Lee Unkrich
Voice: John Goodman, Billy Crystal

Budget: US$ 115 Million
US Gross: US$ 255.9 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 525.4 Million

PIXAR US Box Office Rank: 4/10
PIXAR Worldwide BO Rank: 5/10

Academy Awards:
- Won Best Original Song (Randy Newman - "If I Didn't Have You").
- Nominated for 3 other Oscars (Best Animated Feature Film, Best Original Score & Best Sound Editing).

--- Story recap coming soon ---

5) Finding Nemo (2003)

MyRating: YYYYY

Director: Andrew Stanton & Lee Unkrich
Voice: Albert Brooke, Ellen DeGeneres, Alexander Gould

Budget: US$ 94 Million
US Gross: US$ 339.7 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 867.9 Million

PIXAR US Box Office Rank: 1/10
PIXAR Worldwide BO Rank: 1/10

Academy Awards:
- Won Best Animated Feature Film.
- Nominated for 3 other Oscars (Best Original Screenplay, Best Original Score & Best Sound Editing).

--- Story recap coming soon ---

6) The Incredibles (2004)

MyRating: YYYY

Director: Brad Bird
Voice: Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Samuel L. Jackson

Budget: US$ 92 Million
US Gross: US$ 261.4 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 631.4 Million

PIXAR US Box Office Rank: 3/10
PIXAR Worldwide BO Rank: 3/10

Academy Awards:
- Won 2 Oscars (Best Animated Feature Film & Best Sound Editing).
- Nominated for 2 other Oscars (Best Original Screenplay & Best Sound Mixing).

--- Story recap coming soon ---

7) CARS (2006)

MyRating: YY1/2

Director: John Lasseter & Joe Ranft
Voice: Owen Wilson, Paul Newman, Bonnie Hunt

Budget: US$ 120 Million
US Gross: US$ 244.1 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 462.0 Million

PIXAR US Box Office Rank: 6/10
PIXAR Worldwide BO Rank: 8/10

Academy Awards:- Nominated for 2 Oscars (Best Animated Feature Film & Best Original Song).

--- Story recap coming soon ---
8) RATATOUILLE (2007)
MyRating: YYYY

Director: Brad Bird & Jan Pinkava
Voice: Patton Oswald, Ian Holm

Budget: US$ 150 Million
US Gross: US$ 206.4 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 623.7 Million

PIXAR US Box Office Rank: 8/10
PIXAR Worldwide BO Rank: 4/10

Academy Awards:
- Won Best Animated Feature Film.
- Nominated for 4 other Oscars (Best Original Screenplay, Best Original Score, Best Sound & Best Sound Editing).

- Story recap coming soon ---

9) WALL-E (2008)

MyRating: YYYY

Director: Andrew Stanton
Voice: Ben Burtt, Elissa Knight

Budget: US$ 180 Million
US Gross: US$ 223.8 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 521.3 Million

PIXAR US Box Office Rank: 7/10
PIXAR Worldwide BO Rank: 6/10

Academy Awards:
- Won Best Animated Feature Film.
- Nominated for 5 other Oscars (Best Original Screenplay, Best Original Score, Best Original Song, Best Sound & Best Sound Editing).

--- Story recap coming soon ---

10) UP (2009)

MyRating: YYYY1/2

Director: Pete Docter & Bob Peterson
Voice: Edward Asner, Jordan Nagai, Christopher Plummer

Budget: US$ 175 Million
US Gross: US$ 293.0 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 731.3 Million

PIXAR US Box Office Rank: 2/10
PIXAR Worldwide BO Rank: 2/10

Academy Awards:
- Won 2 Oscars (Best Animated Feature Film & Best Original Score).
- Nominated for 3 other Oscars (Best Motion Picture, Best Original Screenplay & Best Sound Editing)

--- Story recap coming soon ---

(MJ)

Charlie Brooker Rules Misanthropy

I'm not going to do a conventional review of Charlie Brooker's The Hell Of It All, I'm just going to pull out a selection of quotes and let you make up your own mind...

Here's a sentence rarely used to open newspaper columns: why don't most people just blow their own heads off?

Nothing beats living alone. Why shackle yourself to a fellow human being for the rest of your days? Because you're in love? Don't be a wuss. That'll fade after a few years and all you'll be left with is a walking catalogue of tiny, grating quirks gleefully pointing out your shortcomings. To avoid murdering each other, you'll have to keep yourselves anaesthetised with DVD box sets and the occasional holiday. Life partner? Joy thief more like.*

Activity holidays... the idea fills me with revulsion. What if a really annoying jabbering, bearded bloke latches on to me on the first day and decides I'm his best mate and won't leave me alone, and I'm stuck with him in some Amazonian wilderness and the sun's beating down and he's talking and talking and farting for comic effect and eating sandwiches and walking around with egg-mayonnaise round his mouth until I want to grab the nearest rock and stove his skull in, and carry on smashing and smashing and roaring at the sky until the others dash over to pull me off him, but by then I've gone totally feral and start coming at them with the rock, which by now is all matted with gore and brain and beard hair, and I manage to clock one of them hard in the temple and they're flat on the ground, limbs jerking like an electrocuted dog, but as I swing for the next one some self-appointed hero rugby-tackles me, but I'm still putting up a fight so in desperation they all stamp on my neck until they're certain I'm dead, then throw my body in the river and make a lifelong pact to tell no one the truth of what happened that day? What sort of holiday is that?

Charlie Brooker - giving misanthropy a good name.






*I wonder if he'll read that extract at his wedding to the former Blue Peter presenter? Hmmm...

The Dark Side Meme

Via Sunday Stealing...

1. You’re building your dream house. What’s the one thing that this house absolutely, positively MUST HAVE? (other than the obvious basics of course)

A library.

2. What is your dream car?



It's more of a nightmare...

3. What is your favourite website that isn’t a blog?

Wikipedia.

4. iPhone 4 or Droid, which do you want?

What, an actual droid? Like R2?

Whatever, I don't want an iPhone, even if Steve Jobs is giving them away. iTunes is bad enough.

5. When you’re feeling down or lonely or just generally out of sorts, what do you do to cheer yourself up?

Read comics, listen to music, and torture small children.

6. Tell me about something or someone that you love that most people seem to hate.

Judging from the internet, that would probably be Amazing Spider-Man post-BND. Still, the sensible among you are starting to come round...

7. What do you want to be when you grow up?

I don't want to grow up.

8. Would you go on a reality show if given the chance?

Not unless they gave me a gun with 100 Bullets.

9. Who was your favourite teacher when you were growing up?

Junior School - Miss Howard

High School - Mr. Shaw

10. You get one pass to do something illegal or immoral. What are you gonna do?

Rob a well-stocked bank.

11. What were you doing 10 years ago?

Same as I'm doing now. Unfortunately.

12. By this time next year, I...

...will hopefully be doing something different.

13. Do you think the United States will elect a female President in your lifetime? Do you think this would be a good thing?

Yeah, why not? She can't be any more corrupt than the last few male ones. Unless she's Allison Taylor from 24. Or another Maggie...

14. Which fictional TV show character you would shag anytime?

Scully.

15. What is your greatest pet peeve?

Too broad a subject to narrow down to just one.

16 and 17 I've answered in previous memes, so let's make up my own?

16. Who was your favourite Doctor?

Tom Baker... though give Matt Smith another couple of years and I might have to change my answer. Always had a soft spot for Peter Davison too.

17. What's your favourite Madonna song?

Like A Prayer.

Probably.

18. Do you have a nickname? What is it?

"Oy, Fuck Face!"

19. What are you dreading at the moment?

A potential spine operation.

20. Do you worry that others will judge you from reading some of your answers?

People will judge me whatever I do.

21. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship.

It's a looooong time ago... but "different needs". I needed her, she needed her ex.

22. What were you doing this morning at 8am?

Sitting at this computer screen.

23. Do you have any famous relatives?

No. If I did, I'd be tapping them up for money.

24. How many different beverages have you drank today?

One cup of green tea and lots of water.

25. What is something you are excited about?

Retirement.

26. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group?

How large? I spoke in front of a smallish group of works experience types earlier this week. It's a while since I addressed a larger group, but I never have a problem with public speaking.

27. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

"Shit. You again?"

28. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Sleeping.

29. What’s a word you say a lot?

Idiot.

30. Who is your worst enemy?

Agents, commissioning editors and Dr. Octopus.

30 Songs - Day 7

Day 07 - A Song That Reminds You Of A Certain Event

I haven't forgotten this ongoing musical meme, honestly. Sometimes there just aren't enough blogging days in the week.



I wasn't looking forward to Sunday the 31st of August, 1997. Back then I was working in radio promotions and had been tasked with organising a huge Party In The Park event with loads of shitty pre-X-Factor style boy and girl bands and a humongous crowd of listeners. Worse still, my manager had gone off on holiday and pretty much left me to it. I'd been dreading the event for weeks - so much could go wrong, and it'd all be on my head.

And then, in the early hours of the big day, a Mercedes S-280 crashed in the Pont de l'Alma tunnel in Paris and our event - and along with hundreds more all across the world - was cancelled. Much has been written about the ridiculous levels of public mourning following the death of Princess Diana, but while I bore the woman no ill will, I couldn't help but breath a huge sigh of relief at her timing.

Your Lucky Day In Hell was the third single from the Eels' debut album and many expected it to follow the previous two into the higher reaches of the chart. Unfortunately, it was released the day after Di's death, by which time it had been withdrawn from every playlist in the country as radio stations went into mass panic mode and started playing Elton John 24/7.

Go on, tell me you'd rather hear Candle In The Wind '97...

THE A-TEAM (2010)

MyRating: YY

Director: Joe Carnahan
Cast: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson, Sharlto Copley, Jessica Biel, Patrick Wilson, Gerald McRaney
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of action and violence throughout, language and smoking

This movie is based on a popular TV series of the 1980s. Many people must have some old good memories of the 1980s, no matter how were the situations of our lives at that time. Did you ever feel that you were back in time and felt your old (happy or sad) feelings when you hear the 1980s songs of Michael Jackson, Madonna, or Lionel Richie? Or did you remember how you felt when you watched Back to the Future movie for the first time when it was released in the 1980s? Or the "Brat Pack" movies? Not only feel it, sometimes you can even smell the things you smelt at that time. Those feelings and memories are like a mini-chip slot in your head that will be plugged everytime you hear or see things related to that era. And The A-Team theme song is one of it. It was so excited to hear that popular theme song being played in the movie. Many chip slots of the fans must have been plugged only by listening that song.

The story is about four American veteran soldiers, Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith (Neeson), Lt. Templeton 'Faceman' Peck (Cooper), B.A. Baracus (Jackson) and Murdock (Copley), who were sent on a mission to recover 100-dollar-bill plates that were used for printing a billion dollars. Somehow, their mission went wrong as they were being set up, and the plates that they have recovered, were again being stolen by another party. As a result, they were brought to the court martial, being sentenced for a crime they did not commit and sent to jails. When Hannibal knows where to find the man who steal the plates, he escapes from the jail. He then helps his other three friends to break out from their jails. Together, they are back as a force, known as The A-Team, with the main target to find back the plates, reveal the mastermind, and clear their names. But as they have escaped the prisons and caused so many troubles for the military who pursue them, they are now becoming the outlaw of the States.

This is a full action packed movie. It gives you actions from the beginning till the end, with lots of explosions, gun firings, plane chasing and shouting at each other. I love great action movies, to mention a few are Speed, True Lies, The Rock, Casino Royale and Live Free and Die Hard. Sometimes, I even like the mindless ones, as long as they are supported by enjoyable and good stories.

However, this movie did not work for me. I don't know why, but I was yawning continuously from the halfway of the film till the end (in the middle of the intense action sequences). I didn't get the story, as there was no story, only heavy mindless actions. It was so boring for me. The movie was also too noisy, which made me exhausted watching it. At some point of time until the end, all the actions became meaningless pictures in front of me that were too much to absorb. I actually hoped the movie to end. I don't know whether it was the lack of story (replaced by non-stop loud silly actions) that made me sleepy, or because I was tired that I could not concentrate on watching this movie. If it was because of the second reason, then I was not being fair to this movie. However, I still wrote the review as the reflection of my first impressions towards the film. I am not sure whether my opinion will change if I watch it again the second time, as usually my first impressions seldom change.

Maybe I was just getting old. Finally, what I could really enjoy was only the theme song of this movie. (MJ)

While Everyone Else Was Watching The Football...

...we went for a walk in the woods.



Despite what I was saying yesterday about not having enough time for all the things I want to do... the older I get, the more important I feel it is to take time to appreciate the beauty of the natural world.



I've written before about how privileged I feel to live in such a beautiful part of the world, surrounding by so much sublime, awe-inspiring countryside. And on days like the one pictured in these photos, it's a crime not to get out there and enjoy that countryside.






Over the last couple of weeks we've been hooked on the BBC's Springwatch programme. Chris Packham, Kate Humble and Simon King are my new heroes. You can feel their enthusiasm and genuine emotion about wildlife - birds, animals, fish, plants, even insects and seaweed. It's infectious. (I'm also impressed by how Packham in particular seems to be on a one-man campaign to make geekery cool.)



So what are you doing wasting your time stuck inside reading this stoopid blog? If the sun's shining on your part of the world today, get out there and appreciate it!

Paralysed By My Day Off

I had a day off on Tuesday, and for a moment I was paralysed. There was so much I wanted to do! Not concrete plans like a day trip to the seaside or even a film I wanted to catch at the cinema (I can't remember a time when I've been less inspired by the choice of movies on release). Some of it was just basic household chores - washing a blanket, cleaning the mildew from the porch. I knew I wanted to go for a walk as it was such a beautiful day - but where? Then there was my proofreading course, I really needed to sit down and do some more on that. Obviously there's about a million things I want to write too, not to mention all the books I have stacked up to read, a few weeks' worth of TV shows on the recorder, a bunch of CDs I haven't had time to listen to yet... the list goes on and on.

I've reached the point in my life where time seems to be speeding up and getting away from me. This hit me for another reason recently. I was looking at all the books on my bookcases, so many of which I'm keeping to read again "at a later date". Yet how often do I actually get the chance to reread old books - even firm favourites? Maybe once or twice a year. The rest of the time, I've always got something new to devour. The same goes for music. One of the reasons I force myself to compile those top ten music lists is that it makes me go back and rediscover random gems from my record collection I might otherwise forget all about.

This is all to do with growing old. When you're younger, even in your twenties, time stretches ahead of you like an endless motorway. There'll always be time to do all the things you want to do - in the future. How often do we put things off when we're young because there's always tomorrow? An infinity of tomorrows. I wrote earlier about how much time I wasted in my youth watching shit TV. I mean really shit TV. Even shitter than Knight Rider and Manimal. Not even enjoyably shit TV. Nowadays, TV shows have to have real value for me to bother with them - or else I have to be doing something else at the same time (making the tea, ironing etc.) so I don't feel like I'm squandering my time. Because it's just too valuable to waste when there's so much you want to do... and the clock's always ticking.

The ironic thing is, you only realise this as you get older. But I'm only 38, and maybe I've realised it younger than many. Time is limited, and there's so much to do. I'm going to try not to waste so much of it in future. Now if only I didn't have to waste so much of it at work...