I've just dug out and dusted off the first issue of The Jock (Ultimate 21st Century version) and posted it over on my writing blog. If you want to read a comic about a desperate band of freedom fighters struggling to save the world from an evil radio corporation... go here now.
Meanwhile, over at thoughtballoons, we're hip deep in Invincible week. I wasn't too keen on my own strip, a snarky dig at Robert Kirkman's propensity for over-egging the exposition, but it's gone down surprisingly well with the other tb-ers. Personally, I preferred last week's J. Jonah Jameson strip (but then, he was my choice).
And I'm still reviewing cheap comics over at Comics - On The Ration. Just survived Frank Miller and Jim Lee's All Star Batman & Robin. It made me feel goddamned grubby... but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
But... I don't just lead a virtual life. I can now officially announce a rare public appearance. Rob and Paul have asked me to join them on their Comics - On The Ration panel at this year's Caption Comics Convention in Oxford. I've been invited along to Caption by a variety of people over the years and I've always managed to find a decent excuse... but this year, the guys caught me on the hop. They know I don't have anything else to do with my time now I'm no longer counted among the gainfully employed. So they've tricked me into attending. Let me know if you're going along too, so I be sure to keep out of your way. (I suppose I better tell Jay.)
I never listened to Phil Jupitus's 6 Music breakfast show because up until very recently I didn't have access to a digital radio. It seems not that many other people listened to it either, if we're to believe Jupitus, but then it did run in the early days of digital, and long before the recent 6 Music Renaissance. I was however interested to read his experiences of working in radio, because he's passionate about a wide variety of music styles and outpoken against playlist radio...
"I am stunned that modern radio is still so reliant on computer-selected, pre-programmed playlists. I can understand the appeal of this on a chart-based station, but what was the point of hiring somebody with an extensive knowledge of music as well as a none-too-shabby record and CD collection and then not letting them use either facility?"
Throughout his time at 6, Jupitus continually butted heads with his bosses about the music he was allowed to play on his show. I guess for a station that was allegedly championing new and alternative music, the desire to play Coldplay every hour was still strong...
"I loved the chaotic slalom of John Peel's musical selections... I saw no reason why I shouldn't play 'I Enjoy Being A Girl' (by Peggy Lee) and immediately follow it up with 'Staring At The Rude Boys' (by The Ruts). Surely any half decent radio show should thrive on this kind of wilful eclecticism? Just because you play contrasting musical styles from decades apart is no reason people should tune out, and if they do, then bollocks to them."
Personally, I've always believed there's space on the airwaves for a station as diverse as the one Jupitus dreamed he'd be working at... but it seems the people in charge believe otherwise. Jupitus even begins to doubt the potential of such a business model himself as the book goes on (though he does offer home-produced internet radio up as the medium's one potential saviour).
As well as unimaginative music policies, Jupitus also has much to say about radio presentation styles. The most enjoyable chapter in the book comes when the author forces himself to sit through an entire 4 hour local radio breakfast show... can his sanity survive?
"The shouty breakfast shows all appear to be predicated on deceit... Who decided that people who played records on the radio should evolve such an absurd style of speech? How can the people who do it even begin to think that it is a normal way to behave?"
In the end, the comedian, writer and TV presenter is forced to conclude that radio is not for him. Like many who have worked in the industry, the restrictions on creativity and individuality prove just too much.
"I loved deejaying but hated being a deejay... I took it all too personally and too seriously. I found playlist radio an anathema, and still do to this day."
Back in 1993, I created a comic called The Jock in which a group of rebel DJs fought to stop a faceless corporation called Yourent taking over radio and conquering the world with their bland, mind-controlling muzak. Almost 20 years later, that book now seems archaic. Yourent won. And the Jock wasn't the only loser...
A long time ago, in a whole other lifetime, I used to write and publish a comic called THE JOCK. In it, a group of rebel DJs fought for freedom and real music in a world where mindless corporate muzak had become the opiate of the masses. A book where the hero was a DJ...? Why not write a comic about a super-powered traffic warden or altruistic ambulance-chasing lawyer while I was at it? No wonder it didn't catch on.
During my 20+ years in the radio industry, I've known a hell of a lot of DJs. Some of them have gone on to fame and fortune, some have gone on to proper jobs. Some have even been intelligent, sincere, modest, warm-hearted and normal. For every Chris Evans, there's a Mark Radcliffe or John Peel. Well, there used to be. The true DJ is a dying breed, for some of the reasons found in song below... here's my tribute.
There are thousands of dance songs about DJs, but most are about club DJs rather than radio. Still, the principle is the same I suppose - someone passionate about music, passionate about sharing that music with the world. Faithless is as close as I ever got to dance music. If my God was a DJ, he'd mostly play songs with real instruments and proper lyrics. I guess I'm just an old-fashioned guy.
Who knows why Scottish band The View are so obsessed with DJs that they wrote two songs about them on their debut album ? Perhaps it was a ploy to get their records played?
The same record for the 16th time Exact same set you did the last time round
Back when I started working in radio, I had aspirations to be a presenter myself. Soon after that, free choice was taken away from the majority of jocks and replaced by music testing, focus groups and playlists. That was what spurred me into creating The Jock and convinced me it wasn't the career for me. (Well, that and the fact that I have a shit voice.)
Well you can't turn him into a company man You can't turn him into a whore And the boys upstairs just don't understand anymore Well the top brass don't like him talking so much And he won't play what they say to play And he don't want to change what don't need to change And there goes the last DJ Who plays what he wants to play And says what he wants to say Hey, hey, hey
I know it's not what this song is about... but can you come up with a better eight word definition of the internet?
4. Donald Fagen - The Nightfly
Amazingly, I can't find the original of this Donald Fagen classic anywhere on the net. Lots of middle-aged blokes playing it in their bedrooms though...
I'm Lester the Nightfly Hello Baton Rouge Won't you turn your radio down Respect the seven second delay we use
I used to work on a phone-in show. Spent my nights telling people to turn off their radios before they went on air. And calling the police to deal with all the nutters and attempted suicides...
Harry Chapin. Genius. Three words that should always be used in close proximity.
A plea from an old, drunk DJ to the ex-wife who doesn't want him back...
Got a spot on the top of my head, just begging for a new toupee And a tire on my gut from sitting on my... But they're never gonna go away Sometimes I get this crazy dream That I just drove off in my car But you can travel on ten thousand miles and still say where you are Been thinking that I should stop this jocking And start that record store Maybe I could settle down and you'd take me back once more...
Come on, you knew it was coming. You're only surprised it's not number one.
Hang the blessed DJ!
1. Mark Germino - Rex Bob Lowenstein
Tom Petty's isn't the only last DJ. When Hartlanberg's Rex Bob gets told what to play by the boys upstairs, he's locks himself in the studio and goes out fighting.
Now, one day a man in a pinstriped suit Took the owner of the station to a restaurant booth His pitch was simple, "you’ll increase your sales If you only play the song list we send in the mail."
He guaranteed a larger audience Less confusion and higher points "But your drive-time jock won’t get to do his thing. Hey he’s not half bad, tell me, what’s his name?"
For all those wondering what happened to Buggles and Video Killed The Radio Star... I'm saving that for my Radio Top Ten... which is looking more like a Top 40 at the moment. Kinda fitting. In the meantime... what's your favourite DJ song?
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