Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...
Like most sane moviegoers, I didn't have a great deal of time for the original Ghost Rider movie. OK, it was a stinker. So why, pray tell, did I plunk down my hard earned shekels (well, I.'s hard-earned shekels, since we went on Orange Wednesday and he took pity on my unemployed ass and gave me the GOF of his BO) on the second one? My defence goes thus...
1. I like Ghost Rider. He's one of those Marvel B-listers I've always had a soft spot for even though very few writers seem able to make him work. JM DeMatteis managed it back when I was a kid and Jason Aaron knocked it out of the park recently, but beyond that I can't think of too many other great Ghost Rider stories. The potential is there though, as I discovered while writing this week's Thoughtballoons script based on the character. There's so much can be done with this concept. Sadly, the writers of this movie (mostly David bloody Goyer, Hollywood's go-to guy for bad - and occasionally surprisingly good - superhero movies) preferred to run with a tepid combo of Hellboy, The Omen and The Fast & The Furious... and however exciting you might think that sounds: trust me, you're wrong.
2. I (used to) like Nicholas Cage. And every now and then he makes a film which shows a spark of the manic genius he displayed in Wild At Heart or Bad Lieutenant rather than just SHOUTING ALL THE TIME and ACTING REALLY BADLY. Sadly, this was not to be one of those films. Hey, Nick, if you love Ghost Rider as much as you say you do... why didn't you put some bloody effort in?
3. Idris Elba was in it. I like him a lot. He made the absolute most of an underwritten role and provided a couple of moments of blessed comic relief. Many more were needed. Meanwhile, Ciaran Hinds popped up as the devil. Another hugely talented actor... wasted.
4. The reviews told me this one was much better than the first. They lied.
On the other hand, I can't say the warning signs weren't there. I should have paid more attention to the following...
1. The directors, Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, are most famous for making dumb action movies starring Jason blinkin' Statham. Their style can best be described as "less accomplished Guy Ritchie". I hate Guy Ritchie.
2. It was only possible to watch this movie in 3D. Which is strange as Spirit of Vengeance featured the least gratuitous 3D effects of any pointlessly 3D film I've seen in recent times. In fact, other than the fact I was wearing those stupid glasses so (as usual) my eyes hurt and I couldn't focus on the whole of the screen... at no point was I aware of any 3D effects whatsoever. It was like watching a 2D movie with 3D glasses on. I'd rather have just watched it the way god intended.
3. There was a sequence in which Ghost Rider takes a leak and pisses fire. As if to suggest this might be the highlight of the movie, they even included it in the trailer. It was desperate, humourless and lacking in imagination. Actually, that was pretty representative of the movie as a whole. I take that back: it belonged in the trailer. It should have been the whole trailer. 30 seconds of Ghost Rider weeing. That would have been apt.
