2011 - TV of the Year

My annual countdown looking back on the best bits of the dying year begins here... with the magical tellybox. This year I've had to suffer the loss of Lost and 365 days without 24. So what's taken their places? Not The Walking Dead (or The Treading Water as we've renamed the lacklustre second series; inspired mid-season climax not withstanding) or True Blood (though the camp monstrosity of Denis O'Hare's Russell Edgington almost brought it home, we did have to balance that with the whole "Sookie is a Faerie" nonsense, and not enough Jason or Lafayette). Speaking of O'Hare, I'm still undecided about American Horror Story. The more ridiculous and implausible it becomes, the more I find it a guilty pleasure, and there are some great performances from O'Hare, Jessica Lange and Six Feet Under's Frances Conroy (slumming it). But... I can't help but feel they're making it up as they go along. And as for Smallville...

As usual, I've probably forgotten some shows that ran earlier in the year. Special runner's up prize goes to Fresh Meat, which is probably a better show than half the ones listed below, but hasn't yet wormed its way into my subconscious. Next year, it could well be Top Ten. For anyone who's read these lists in years gone by, the Top Fifteen will contain few surprises...

15. Castle

Occupying the same slot it did on last year's countdown, Castle continues to be a great example of comfort food telly, thanks largely to the charming Nathan Fillion. That said, they did shake up the formula somewhat at the end of Season 3, so I'm intrigued to see where it goes from here.

14. The Hour

Dominic West comes home from Baltimore for a show that's about as far away from The Wire as possible. He's still got that devilish twinkle in his eye as 50s newscaster Hector Madden and, along with Ben Whishshaw and Romola Garai, West helped make this show more than just a British Mad Men.

13. Rev.

A rarity in sitcom world, Tom Hollander's Rev is both witty and thought-provoking. It's not afraid to swerve away from the obvious laugh in favour of deeper, sadder, yet more honest resolutions. And it has genuine character development. Excellent cast (particularly Simon McBurney as Archdeacon Robert) and some top draw cameos from the likes of Sylvia Sims and Richard E. Grant. Even Dawkins would be swayed by the Reverend Adam Smallbone.

12. Monk

Farewell, then, Adrian Monk. More comfort food telly, Tony Shalhoub's OCDetective always reminded me of the kind of show I'd have watched when I was a kid... the kind I didn't think they made anymore. Despite its formulaic nature, Monk managed to make me laugh out loud and cry real tears on more than one occasion. I'm glad they gave him a happy ending.

11. Nurse Jackie

Sadly stolen from our screens by the Evil Murdoch Empire, I've no idea when I'll get to watch the third and fourth seasons, but Season 2 had me itching for more of Edie Falco's self-destructive uber-nurse. Guess I'll be waiting for the DVD...

10. Fringe

No idea where Fringe is going this season, but as long as John Noble continues to give us his alternately hilarious and heartbreaking portrayal of Dr. Walter Bishop, I'll not miss an episode.

9. Psychoville

Not now, Silent Singer!



8. Justified

Come season 2, Walton Goggins got some serious competition in the sneaky scenery chewing stakes from Margo Martindale as malicious matriarch Mags Bennet. Together, they even encouraged Timothy Olyphant to raise his game. A sly, witty show not afraid to break with formula: Elmore Leonard must be proud.

7. This Is England '88

More merry misery from Shane Meadows. I just love Woody's banter...



6. Mad Men

Another one stolen by Murdoch's Evil Sky Atlantic. Don Draper would not approve...

5. Luther

Told he probably wasn't getting a third series, Luther creator Neil Cross went all out to make the second as grim and nihilistic as possible. With random hammer-killing twins and a violent, clown-masked psycho it made Silence of the Lambs look like Playschool. And somehow granted the show a reprieve: season 3 is currently being filmed. Idris Elba: another member of the Wire alumni come home and made good.

4. Doctor Who

The Stephen Moffat Renaissance continues. Matt Smith cements his place as Best 21st Century Doctor. And Who finally became a show about Time Travel!

3. Frozen Planet

Who cares if they faked the baby polar bear scene? This was still jaw-dropping, eye-popping TV that finally justified the invention of HD and made us all fall in love with penguins. Again.

2. Forbrydlesen / Forbrydelsen II (The Killing)

Like a Danish Jack Bauer, Sarah Lund scowled her way into our hearts with a selection of chunky jumpers (which she even wears when visiting Afghanistan) and a single-minded, self-sacrificing determination to crack the case... even if it takes 20 episodes to do so. Roll on season 3... sadly planned to be the last.

1. House

Cuddy and Thirteen both walked out on him, but House survives (even prison couldn't reform him!), with a couple of new assistants to torment and a new boss (the best choice) to aggravate. As long as he's got Wilson, he'll be OK. But will this be the last series of House too? Hugh - no!

There's A Huge Spot On Daniel Craig's Neck

So we're watching the film Defiance on DVD the other night. It's not the greatest thing Daniel Craig's ever done, but it's a hell of a lot better than Cowboys & Aliens*. It's the tale of three Jewish brothers who escape the Nazis in WWII and build a community of exiles in the Belarussian forest where they survive for years until the end of the war. It's based on a true story, one of those "triumph of the human spirit" gems that Hollywood adores. It's all very worthy and dramatic, with fine performances from Craig, Liev Schreiber and Billy Elliott. However, the image it scored into my mind was not of valiant heroes fighting against all odds in dire circumstances... but of the huge spot on Daniel Craig's neck.

You can't see it on the image above, because Bond is wearing a big woolly scarf to hide it from the photographer... but it's a belter. The sort of zit that makes you think you're growing an extra head. I should know, I spent most of my teenage years caked in Clearasil, unsuccessfully fighting the damned things off. Still, you don't expect to find one of the neck of a celebrity beefcake noted for his washboard chest, solid sixpack, sandpaper stubble and piercing blue eyes... even if he's been living in a forest for three years.

Digital film stock and HD TV make it easier than ever to see the pimples, wrinkles, cellulite and saggy bits of our favourite actors and actresses in crystal clear quality. (It's only because I'm a gentleman that I haven't mentioned the crimson carbuncle on Sarah Lund's nose in one episode of The Killing last week. You can forgive her the skincare neglect: she works long hours in a permanently dark city and eats all her meals straight from the pan.)

Cinema's come a long way since the grand dames of Hollywood only ever allowed themselves to be filmed with a heavy gauze or thick layer of petroleum jelly smeared over the camera lens to mask their imperfections. We should cherish these days of scabby stars and spotty starlets though... how long before they insist on CGI-airbrushing away their every blemish? It's already a staple of magazine shoots, and if you ask me it makes our idols far less human... and less attractive... with each Photoshopped brushstroke. And don't even start me on plastic surgery!




*Review to follow, once I can bring myself to face up to the awfulness of it.