My New Office

For far too many years, the view out my office window looked like this...

Now I'm the Word Wrestler, I'm working from home, and the view from my office window looks like this...

That's what I call an improvement!

Not only that, I've just moved my office from the attic to the box room / 3rd bedroom. While the attic satisfied my "lonely writer in his draughty garret" fantasies, it didn't quite have the view and often felt a little isolating. My new office feels both more professional and far more inspiring... the words are already beginning to flow!

I questioned whether anyone would be interested in seeing my new office... but then I realised that if I were reading your blog, and you did a feature on the room where you write... I'd be fascinated. But unless you put your house on the market and I pretend to be a prospective buyer just for the sake of coming round for a nosy, I'm probably unlikely to ever see it. Unless you fancy responding with a post of your own...

Here's the view from the opposite side of the room. Yes, I have a lot of books. That should hardly come as a surprise. In case you're wondering, the comics are still up in the attic. Yes - that's my new Comic Room!

(If Louise is reading this, I'm joking. Really. Don't hit me. Please. Not again.)

Top Ten Spelling Songs

One of my missions in life now that I'm the world's first official Word Wrestler is to clean up bad spelling on the internet. So to help out, here's ten singalong spelling lessons from rock and pop...

10. Carla Thomas B-A-B-Y

(From 'The Platinum Collection'.)

We'll start with an easy one, and theoretically one of the first words we should all learn to spell. A classic slice of Atlantic soul from Carla.

9. The Fall - C.R.E.E.P.

(From '50,000 Fall Fans Can't Be Wrong: 39 Golden Greats'.)

What kind of creep has got Mark E. Smith's goat?

His oppression abounds, his type is doing the rounds
He is a scum-egg; a horrid trendy wretch

We need more songs with the word "scum-egg" in the lyrics, regardless of the spelling.

8. Jimmy Ruffin - As Long As There Is L-O-V-E

(From Hold On To My Love.)

Another easy one, probably the most spelled song in the history of pop. Few are the artists who spell it L-U-V... most notably Slade, but Noddy Holder's spelling was always atroshuss.

See also L-O-V-E (Love) by Al Green or Edwyn Collins and Orange Juice.

7. Piney Gir - K.I.S.S.I.N.G.

Sadly, I can't find Piney Gir's wonderful sitting-in-a-tree song anywhere on youtube, but you can hear it on her hugely entertaining debut album Peakahokahoo(eat that, spellchecker!)

Mansun are practising the same word, but they spell it K.I. Double S. I.N.G.

6. John Cougar Mellencamp - ROCK In The USA

John Mellencamp spells out a tribute to 60s rock from one of my favourite albums of the 80s, Scarecrow.

5. Pulp - F.E.E.L.I.N.G. C.A.L.L.E.D. L.O.V.E.

Jarvis decides that sex is the best way to teach spelling, on the sleaziest track from Different Class.

And as I'm standing across this room

I feel as if my whole life has been leading to this one moment.

And as I touch your shoulder tonight

This room has become the centre of the entire universe.

4. Tammy Wynette - D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

(From 'Stand By Your Man: The Very Best Of Tammy Wynette'.)

Tammy spells out the words she doesn't want her son to understand in this classic country heartbreaker. Billy Connelly spells the same message a little differently.

3. Noah & The Whale - L.I.F.E. G.O.E.S. O.N.

(From 'Last Night on Earth'.)

Charlie Fink's story about Little Lisa Loony Tunes owes a sizable debt to Walk On The Wild Side, but that doesn't stop it from spelling out one of the catchiest singles of the year.

2. Aztec Camera - How Men Are

(From 'The Best of Aztec Camera'.)

Wait... shouldn't that be H.O.W. M.E.N. A.R.E.?

No, it should be P.E.R.S.P.E.C.T.I.V.E. - definitely the longest word I've asked you to spell today. Roddy Frame handles it with style.

Why should it take the tears of a woman

To see how men are?

1. Aretha Franklin - R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

(From 'Queen Of Soul - The Best of Aretha Franklin'.)

Otis wrote it, Aretha made it live forever.

Find out what it means to me...



This concludes today's spelling test... unless you have anything you'd like to add? Pity no one ever wrote a song called... A.N.T.I.D.I.S.E.S.T.A.B.L.I.S.H.M.E.N.T.A.R.I.A.N.I.S.M.
...or did they?

The Word Wrestler Cometh

For anyone who's wondering what I've been up to since my redundancy, or about my plans for the future, here's the answer...

I've become the world's first official Word Wrestler! A freelance copywriter. A self-employed copywriter, proofreader and social networking expert. My business is very much in its infancy and I'm sure to make mistakes so I'd appreciate all the feedback I can get. If you have time to take a look at my copywriting website and want to offer any helpful, constructive advice then either leave a comment here (I've disabled comments on the site itself) or send me an email. It's a scary step, but also a very exciting one, and I'm determined to find my way in this brave new world.

In other news, I'll be appearing live this weekend along with Paul Rainey, Rob Wells and Steve Miller at the Comics - On The Ration panel at this year's Caption Comics Festival in Oxford. The C-OTR panel is on Sunday afternoon but I'll be there most of the weekend, with copies of PJANG for sale and free Too Much Sex & Violence postcards for anyone who wants one. If you're coming along, do pop over and introduce yourself. I'll be modelling some of the outfits from my recent What I'm Wearing Today post, so you shouldn't be able to miss me.