Christmas Card From A Loser In Huddersfield...

...as opposed to a hooker in Minneapolis.

Over at Nige's Page of Rage, Nigel is discussing the thorny subject of Christmas cards, specifically the quandary of wanting to send a card to some of your work colleagues... but not wanting to wee on the rest of them even if their Santa hats are on fire. Not a problem for me this year as I don't officially have any work colleagues. I did receive a card from one person on my course (who thoughtfully sent one to each of us), then watched amusingly as another student spent half the lesson frantically scribbling out cards of her own... not to be outdone.

This is our third Christmas in this home. It's in a terrace row of five houses, and though we know our neighbours to say "hello" to, we don't know most of their names and we've never exchanged Christmas cards. Until this year... when the nice couple in the end house (our immediate neighbours) decided to send one to each house in the row. Within a week, the psychological pressure had boiled over and the cards were flying. In the end, we received one from every other neighbour (some just addressed to our house number with an apology for not knowing our names). Finally, Louise had to crack and return the gesture. Me, I quite liked the idea of being the only miserable bastards in the row... but it is Christmas, after all.

Beyond that, I've not sent a great deal of cards this year. Hey - I'm unemployed, give me a break! So, apologies if you've sent me one and not had one in return. Take this and like it...

I'll be back after the big day with my annual countdown on the best stuff of the year. In the meantime, peace and goodwill to you and your families... here's hoping 2012's a better year than '11 (apocalypse permitting).

Comic Review: West - Confederate Dead

I've been looking forward to this latest Jerusalem West adventure ever since the book began. Seeing how well Andrew Cheverton and Tim Keable mixed Deadwood-style Western with Romero-esque horror in the book's first few issues, and knowing what a fan of zombie films Chev is, a West / zombies face-off has always been inevitable. And here it is, every bit as juicy and dramatic and bloody and beautiful as I'd hoped... in many ways the most accomplished single issue West story yet.

Plotwise, it's probably also the most straightforward. A young West and his bounty hunter pal Wilton Frohickie (I'm not sure if Chev stole that name from my own favourite Frohickie, but it's a great name nevertheless) are chasing down a ruthless gang of outlaws. Their pursuit leads them to Black Salt Island on a dark and stormy night, and then...

So not only is this the West adventure I've been dying to see Chev write - it's also the most amazing piece of comic art I've yet seen Tim deliver. From the gorgeous wraparound cover to the stylish and dramatic interiors, this is a comic you just can't take your eyes off. A truly gorgeous piece of work. If you like westerns, if you like zombies, if you like comics... if you like breathing: buy this book.

Comfort & Joy

I won't lie to you: it's been a rough year here at SOS Towers. Losing my job, crashing my car, having to watch Green Lantern, Transformers 3 and Season Of The Witch... that'll take the spring out of your step and right. I've had stress, sleepless nights and moments where I've just plain broken down and sobbed into my porridge. But no matter how miserable I've felt, there are some things which always give me comfort. This post is a tribute to those...

1. Coffee Shops.

Obviously, the coffee itself is important here, but there's also something hugely comforting about taking time out from your day to sit in a coffee shop and watch the world go by. It feels like a special treat and makes me feel sophisticated and adult: something I'm especially grateful for after sitting in an anonymous cattle queue at the Job Centre. Coffee Shop Culture gets a lot of stick, but I think it's one of the true advances in our society. When I was a student first time round, our only options were pubs and grubby cafes. The rise of coffee shops make me think there's hope for civilization after all.

2. Alex Lester on Radio 2.

I tend to sleep with headphones on, tuned to Radio 2. It helps me gets to sleep and if I wake during the night it helps me get back to sleep. It gives me something to think about and distract my mind in the wee small hours when problems always seem far worse than they might actually be. 3am is the worst time to find yourself lying away with an over-active imagination, so thank god for Alex Lester on Radio 2. An amusing, genuine and inoffensive jock who plays a good variety of music and helps keep me from despair. See also Huey Morgan, Bob Harris and Richard Allison on a weekend. And Chris Evans for making me want to switch off the radio and get up as soon as it's morning.

3. Mum & Dad

They say you appreciate your parents more as you get older. I appreciate mine more every time I see them.

4. Comics

Though I can't afford as many of them as I once did, the ones I do buy, take from the library or re-read from my rapidly dwindling collection in the attic continue to give me solace. From the wonderful, warm nostalgia buzz of rediscovering comics from my youth to the rare examples of uncynical mainstream books (thank god for Dan Slott's Amazing Spider-Man!) to all the wonderful home-made small press books I continue to discover and champion. I still love reading novels and listening to music, even watching TV... but nothing calms my mind last thing at night like a good comic.

5. Writing

It's still there. Whenever I get the chance. Not as often as I might wish, but writing has always helped me sort out my thoughts and put things in perspective. Even blogging helps, but the real peace comes from writing fiction. Hopefully I'll continue to be able to steal time to write, whatever else life throws at me, it's the only thing that keeps me sane.

What gives you comfort no matter what...?

Movie Review: The Thing (2011)

John Carpenter's The Thing is one of my favourite movies. It's the perfect horror film, full of isolation, paranoia, dread, shocks and a truly great monster. Well crafted characters, top note performances and a classic stalemate ending. Any sequel, prequel or remake was doomed to failure in my eyes then... and yet, I found myself inexplicably drawn to The Thing 2011. In truth, it was much less of a car crash than I expected, but that's not to say I enjoyed it. The best I can say is that it's utterly, utterly pointless. Put that on your poster!

Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.'s movie is slavishly devoted to Carpenter's. It sticks rigidly to the plot template it established (taking into account the debt Carpenter owed to John W. Campbell's short story "Who Goes There?" and the original 1951 movie Thing From Another World). It's basically a 2 hour love letter to the Carpenter movie, to the point that it makes tremendous efforts in the final credits sequence to set up that film's opening scene. The problem is, it adds very little to the mythology - and take away many of the elements that made Carpenter's version so successful. The scenes aboard The Thing's spacecraft go nowhere and the "Who's got fillings?" inquisition isn't a patch on Carpenter's hot wire in the blood sample sequence. Worse still, it jettisons Carpenter's creepy synthesiser soundtrack in favour of orchestral overkill... something that's brought home in the epilogue when they finally dig out the synths to evoke the original. The CGI, meanwhile, could have been a whole lot more gratuitous... but it still couldn't hold a candle to Stan Winston.

The cast do their best, yet cute and spunky as Mary Elizabeth Winstead may well be, she's no Kurt Russell. Hey, I don't know, maybe if you've never seen the Carpenter version then the 2011 Thing might have something for you. It's not a bad movie... it just doesn't make any effort to justify its own existence. It may be a carbon copy, but it ain't nothing like the real Thing...

Book Review: World War Z by Max Brooks

Subtitled 'An Oral History of the Zombie War', Max Brooks' novel offers a unique perspective - or many different perspectives - on what is becoming a well told tale. While zombie holocausts are ten a penny these days, Brooks gives us something I hadn't seen before: the global picture. There are no recurring characters here (except the unseen narrator), just a series of interviews which tell the story of a terrifying zombie plague from first bite to final (?) victory. From China to Texas, Finland to South Korea, India to Sydney, Barbados to the Federated States of Micronesia, we see a truly worldwide catastrophe, from the point of view of arrogant soldiers, terrified civilians, vain movie directors, failing politicians and horrified relief workers. It's tirelessly researched with clever insights into warfare, science, technology and society as a whole, though Brooks also manages to find time for moments of breathtaking excitement, terror and even the odd laugh. It doesn't take you on the same kind of emotional journey as The Passage, yet it's more plausible and knows when to call it a day. A fascinating novel - though God only knows how Brad Pitt thinks he's going to turn it into a movie...

I met one gentleman on a coastal ferry from Portland to Seattle. He had worked in the licensing department for an advertising agency, specifically in charge of procuring the rights to classic rock songs for television commercials. Now he was a chimney sweep. Given that most homes in Seattle had lost their central heating and the winters were now longer and colder, he was seldom idle. "I help keep my neighbours warm," he said proudly. I know it sounds a little Norman Rockwell, but I hear stories like that all the time.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL (2011)

MyRating: YYYY

Director: Brad Bird

Cast: Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Paula Patton, Michael Nyqvist, Vladimir Mashkov, Samuli Edelmann, Léa Seydoux, Josh Holloway, Anil Kapoor , Tom Wilkinson

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense action and violence

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol is another action movie that will stun you with its high-octane and adrenaline-rush action sequences, after the highly entertaining and full-speed adrenaline-pumping Fast Five this year. Some of the scenes may make you hold your breath (and maybe open your mouth) due to its unbelievably crazy actions and stunts. Tom Cruise seems to be enjoying and addicted to jumping from high-rise buildings. After the bungee jump he did from the top of Bank of China Tower building in Shanghai in Mission: Impossible III (2006), now he is climbing the tallest building in the world, Burj Khalifa in Dubai, a building with 829.84 m (2,723 feet) height and 160 floors. Our world really needs to build more taller skycrapers for him to jump in his next movies.

Being accused of involving in a fatal terrorist bombing attack in Russia, Ethan Hunt (Cruise) and his new team members are left alone to take the blame, as the U.S. government activates "Ghost Protocol" that shuts down the entire IMF (Impossible Missions Force) organization. Hunted by the Russians and disbanded by their own government, Ethan and his team must move fast in a mission to stop the enemy mastermind from jeopardizing the world with a nuclear war threat, and to clear their organization's name, as well as theirs.

Fast-paced, and full with gripping and intense actions, Brad Bird (the director of The Iron Giant, The Incredibles and Ratatouille), who directed his live action movie for the first time, has successfully made another great fun Mission: Impossible movie that will put this franchise in the high level of pride and expectations, after the good things that J.J. Abrams brought and did in Mission: Impossible III. This fourth installment of the series has a highly enjoyable storyline with Tom Cruise's Mission: Impossible big screen version and style of 'IMF team in a dangerous mission', which showcasing their use of sophisticated high-tech gadgets, and of course, full-blown actions.

This movie has beautiful sceneries of many exotic places, from Budapest to Moscow (into the heart of The Kremlin), and from Dubai to Mumbai. As I watched this in a normal theater, I can only imagine how great this film will look like in the IMAX theater (the movie was partially shot using IMAX cameras), especially the Burj Khalifa building climbing scene that will put your vertigo level at test. The dialogs between the characters were well written and the movie also gave enough room for other main characters to shine.

The cast was solid. I always like Tom Cruise, as I think he is one of the great actors Hollywood ever has, who never seems to lose his energy. And as Ethan Hunt, he seemed to channel all of his energy perfectly with running and fighting and jumping and doing other unbelievable action stunts by his own, including hanging and swinging in the heights of Burj Khalifa building. I think I saw more Tom Cruise rather than Ethan Hunt here (as his big name, personality and ego are much bigger than his character), but we can also see how he was really committed in all that he did in this movie and gave all that he could in bringing us a high class and a top-notch action movie. And he has the charms as a megastar leading actor. He always does.

The addition of Jeremy Renner, one of the hottest comodity in Hollywood nowadays and a two-times Academy Award nominees in two years in a row with The Hurt Locker and The Town, was a smart choice from the producer. He played an IMF analyst William Brandt, who possesses extra skills that other normal analysts don't possess, but with his own secret and past. He was cool here, and it was interesting to see him being paired up with Tom Cruise as a team. Renner has his own moment when in one scene he has to jump into a ventilating shaft with a horizontal flying body position, that reminding us with the same famous style that Tom Cruise did in the first movie.

After also appearing in Mission: Impossible III, Simon Pegg has a bigger role and screen time here as agent Benji Dunn, who just got promoted as a field agent. He has the expertise with computers and hacking into security systems. His character was funny and a smile teaser of this movie, with many of his funny lines that will definitely make you smile. I think Pegg did shine in his own way in this film. And as the only woman in the team, Paula Patton also gave a good and enjoyable performance as agent Jane Carter, a one-tough-chick who kicks ass and has a revenge to make.

Top cast, exotic places, awesome action concept and sequences, supported with a good script, what else do you need in order to make a real thrilling action movie? It has the complete package, with lots of explosions, dangerous stunts, car chase, bare hand fightings and dust storm, including an explosion that threw a car and landed just inches from the running Tom Cruise. The prison breakout scene in the beginning of the movie, and the intense final fighting scene in the car assembly warehouse, began and ended the movie with full punches.

Tom Cruise's memorable and spectacular Burj Khalifa building scene, which is the highlight of this movie and will be remembered for years to come, may be a bit over-the-top. But that is what you pay to see in a Tom Cruise's Mission: Impossible movie. And as the scene was very well shot and directed, and well acted, that made it looked believable and thrilled you at your seat, at the end you will not mind if some of the things you see are not making sense at all.

It has been a good long journey for Tom Cruise and his 'Mission Impossible'. I hated and didn't enjoy the first Mission: Impossible (1996, directed by Brian De Palma) at all. The second Mission: Impossible II (2000) was okay, with John Woo turned it into a Hong Kong style action movie. The third one by J.J. Abrams, Mission: Impossible III (2006), was surprisingly great and highly entertaining, and without a doubt the best of the three. And this latest sequel, Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011), was another good example of a great action movie that knows how to deliver rock-solid action scenes. Be prepared for adrenaline-rush, as this is the movie that will surely satisfy the adrenaline junkies. (MJ)

MYMOVIE CRITIC - REVIEWING MOVIES FROM THE AUDIENCE'S STANDPOINT

Comic Review: Verity Fair #3

The latest issue of Terry Wiley's Verity Fair is another hugely entertaining slice of comedy and chaos in which Verity visits her psychiatrist to talk recurring nightmares, appears (twice) on Never Mind The Buzzcocks, shares curry with a cat and reminisces about a youthful romance with Billy Bragg (or is it?). It's just as crazy and funny and beautifully drawn as you'd expect from the wonderful Mr. Wiley and it's available now at all good comic shows... or by emailing Terry direct at verityfair@oglanut.org.uk, price £2 plus postage for a black & white copy (with colour cover), £4 plus postage for the full colour special edition.

Warning though: it may contain bottoms and swearies. Gosh, that's almost as bad as a comic featuring Too Much Sex & Violence!