Movie Review - Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

Do you remember that old 70s TV sketch (I thought it was The Two Ronnies, but the internet is letting me down) where two spies meet on a park bench and speak in ever-more ridiculous code phrases? "The cuckoo flies backwards over the windmill at midnight." Despite the absence of such corny tropes, I couldn't quite take the latest adaptation of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy seriously. Everyone involved tried very hard to convince me, but the cuckoo got lost in the dark.

I've never read John Le Carre's classic spy novel, nor do I remember the 70s TV version starring Alec Guinness. I can't help but imagine both told this story with less clunk. Characters forced to spout whole chapters of exposition in one speech, flashbacks upon flashbacks upon flashbacks, a myriad of meaningful glances from the top drawer of scenery chewing thesps... and still I had little clue what was actually going on.

And though the cast is undeniably talented, hardly anyone stands out. In the central role as retired master spy George Smiley, Gary Oldman gives Ewan McGregor a run for his money in the "Who can do the best Alec Guinness impersonation?" stakes. Mark Strong gives good hangdog. Tom Hardy looks like Terry from Minder. Colin Firth is way too slimy to be trusted. Toby Jones barks in Scottish. Benedict Cumberbatch tones down the Holmesian kookiness. John Hurt is John Hurt. Only Kathy Burke really impresses as a former secretary denied access to her secrets and missing the bad old days. The period detail is excellent though, I definitely felt like I'd been transported back to 1973. What a grey, dismal and depressing year that was. I'm glad I was only 1.

The King's Speech

For those of you who think I only go to the cinema to see dreadful, shlocky tat like Season The Witch... it's not true. I do go see decent, critically acclaimed and Oscar-nominated "worthy" pics too. They're much harder to review.

Take The King's Speech. It really is as good as you've heard. Colin Firth gives a tender, moving performance as the stuttering royal; Geoffrey Rush doesn't overplay the comedic gift he's been given; Helena Bonham Carter manages to make the old Queen Mum both fun and feisty... you can easily imagine this woman growing into the hard-drinking, hard-gambling Spitting Image caricature of the 80s. I struggled beforehand to accept Guy Pearce as Firth's older brother, not only because he's 7 years younger but also because I always think of him as Mike in Neighbours, leather jacket and teenage scowl, riding off on his motorbike in a huff. But even that was forgotten once Pearce stepped into the screen, a ringer for our infamous abdicating monarch.

This film succeeds in all areas... it even makes me like the royal family. Well, the one from 70 years ago. I've nothing to say beyond the accolades...