Then you must be doing it wrong... or far more than the rest of us.
Take me back to your room Tie me up and strip me naked And lie me on your floor And then you’ll see that sex is boring with me It’s not what I came here for
Ah, Chris and Neil - you could never be boring to me.
I came across a cache of old photos And invitations to teenage parties "Dress in white" one said, with quotations From someone's wife, a famous writer In the nineteen-twenties When you're young you find inspiration In anyone who's ever gone And opened up a closing door She said: "We were never feeling bored"
So... what's your favourite boring song? (No 'bored' songs allowed - I'm saving those for a separate list.)
Whenever I write these lists, I end up talking a lot about lyrics. I've always been a lyrics man, ever since I was a lonely teenager sat with his headphones on studying the Steinbeckian stories of Bruce Springsteen or trying to puzzle out the puns of vintage Elvis Costello or wondering (in my 20s, sadly, as I came to him late) how Morrissey could write so incisively about my life when he'd never even met me.
But... there is an alternative. Those jubilant singalongs where the lyrics don't matter - all you need is a good nananana! I was reminded of this recently when I saw the video to the new My Chemical Romance single (guest starring comics writer Grant Morrison - see the link below). But... could I really come up with a Top Ten?
Lemon squeezy. Turns out I can do 20, with loads to spare. And these are just the nananas - don't even start me on the sha-la-las, lalalas, shooby doos or woo-hoos...
I swear to god I didn't know these were Christian rockers when I chose this song. Nothing against religion, but it never mixes well with beat music. Unless we're talking Satanism.
Still, this is pleasant enough in an Avril-Lavigne-lite-how-the-hell-did-this-end-up-in-my-music-player? kind of way.
See also my token Morrissey reference for this list, This Charming Man, which is as close as the Smiths ever got to a na na song. (Unless your memory is better than mine.)
See also Everyday I Love You Less & Less... and just about everything else the Kaiser Chiefs ever recorded. Still, they're from Leeds so I'll always have a soft spot for them.
Definitely the weirdest thing on this list. (Even weirder than that Steam photo.) If you only quick one link, can I recommend this? And give it time to get going.
In a change to the expected programme, we take a break from Top Tens about popular beverages, and take a request from the floor instead. Kelvin didn't actually ask for a Top Ten Misery Songs... but he's getting it anyway.
Yes, yes, I know, it's the friggin' Beatles. But always better a miserable Beatles than some happy-happy joy-joy grinning-Macca Beatles.
This was the first Lennon & McCartney composition to be covered by another artist. Originally written for Helen Shapiro, but she rejected it, the honour of being the first ever Beatles cover star actually went to comedian and singer Kenny Lynch. Yep, this guy...
Just for the sake of it make sure you're always frowning (Angst! Angst! Angst!) It shows the world that you've got substance and depth
Thank you, Neil, you made me feel good about myself... for a flickering millisecond. Was it worth it?
4. Half Man Half Biscuit - Reasons To Be Miserable (Part 10) ( From Back in the Dhss)
A fairly attractive girl walks past a building site and from underneath an industrial safety helmet you hear (wolf whistle) and you stand there witnessing the whole Neanderthal situation, wanting to twist your own brain out as they sit satisfied on their newly-built wall, laughing their hods off...
Reasons to be miserable Another good excuse to be dead It’s one more thing to gripe about As I while away my days in bed
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- which might be my album title of the year - even if the record itself isn't a patch on their last one. 
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