So on Saturday night me and Dave spent £25 each on a pair of tickets to see Craig talk to his girlfriend, live at the Sheffield Academy. Craig's a particularly talented young performance artist, able to hold a pint of beer in each hand while telling hilarious stories about all the amazing things that have happened to him on Facebook (Yes... On. Facebook.)
On Saturday though, Craig found himself having to compete with a fucking musician - Ben Folds, you might have heard of him, some American piano playing geek - and his band, who'd taken it upon themselves to pitch up at the same venue and start playing songs on the stage while Craig was telling his hilarious Facebook stories. As a result, Craig had to shout to be heard over the top of this inconsiderate yank and many of Craig's audience didn't catch the subtle nuances of his drunken ramble profound storytelling.
Dave and I were lucky though, we'd found the best place in the house - Craig and his insipid girlfriend were standing right behind us! That's like front row seats - and we didn't have to pay any extra! Unfortunately, as the show progressed, Dave decided he'd rather listen to Ben Folds sing his witty, heartfelt songs than Craig go on and on about how he refused to accept Trevor's Friend Request, so we had to move away from the performance area and closer to the stage where Folds was giving it his all, Jerry Lee Lewising the piano for all his worth, making up songs on the spot from lyrics given to him by members of the audience, covering The Divine Comedy and Kansas (though not, sadly, playing Belinda or Doc Pomus) and generally being one of the most energetic, passionate and creative live acts you'll ever see...
...but still not a patch on Facebook Craig.
