Top Ten Escape Songs

I've been thinking a lot about escape recently. For obvious reasons. So here's my top ten songs about getting the hell out of Dodge while you still have time...

10. Rupert Holmes - Escape (The Pina Colada Song)

Let's start with the obvious, as usual, and the only one that actually mentions the word 'escape' in its title. Much mocked, but this is a classic slice of 70s story-song cheese with that wonderful wink of a twist in the tale. Two cheating spouses find love... with each other. I believe that's known as irony, but I could be wrong.

(From 'Escape...The Best Of'.)

9. Pulp - The Boss

I'm gonna leave town
I'm gonna catch a train
I'm going somewhere where I can start again...

After 7 long years down a dead end road I'm gonna get off here
I'm gonna let it go,
Let it go.

7 long years, Jarvis? Try 23, mate.

(Demo track taken from 'His 'N' Hers (Deluxe Edition)'.)

8. Thin Lizzy - Jailbreak

I'm not sure there's a whole lot of metaphor to Lizzy's jailbreak. But if you feel like you've spent half your life trapped in a situation... say, just for example, a job... that feels like a prison sentence... then this track is pretty damned apt.

(From 'Greatest Hits'.)

7. Billy Joel - Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)

Billy Joel drops some profound nuggets that ring more than a little true...

Ah but working too hard can give you
A heart attack, ack, ack, ack, ack, ack

You should never argue with a crazy mi mi mi mi mi mind
You ought-a know by now

Good luck movin' up cause I'm movin' out

(From 'The Stranger'.)

6. Noah & The Whale - Tonight's The Kind Of Night

Noah & The Whale were my Glastonbury-on-TV highlight. Having said that, I did miss Paul Simon, Morrissey and The Wombles.

There's a boy with his head
Pressed up to the window
Of a bus heading out of town
In his breath on the glass
He draws with his finger
A map of the roads they go down
Circles of street lights
Are the only signal
That there's people out there in the black
He waves goodbye, to the town he grew up in
He knows that he'll never come back

They say you can't ever go home again.

Sometimes when you leave a place, you've no desire to ever go back.

(From 'Last Night on Earth'.)

5. Frank Turner - This Town Ain't Big Enough For The One Of Me

God, how did I survive before I discovered Frank Turner?

This town is growing old with me, so I'm making a move.
Everybody round here's been out with everybody else,
Which makes talking to girls hazardous to my health.
They've been in this gene pool so long they've got wrinkled toes;
I don't want all her exes to be people I know.
There's millions more fish in the sea, so I'm making a move.

I'm bored of this town, bored of this scene, bored of these people, yeah.

(From 'Love Ire and Song'.)


4. The Animals - We Gotta Get Out Of This Place

Shame on you if you didn't see this one coming.

(From 'The Complete Animals'.)

3. Boomtown Rats - Rat Trap

There's a huge Springsteen link to the top three... and we start with Bob Geldof doing his very best Boss impression, making Dublin sound like New Jersey...

Billy don't like it living here in this town
He says the traps have been sprung long before he was born
He says "hope bites the dust behind all the closed doors
And puss and grime ooze from its scab crusted sores
There's screaming and crying in the high rise blocks"
It's a rat trap, Billy, but you're already caught...

It's only 8 o'clock, but you're already bored
You don't know what it is, but there's got to be more
You'd better find a way out, hey, kick down the door
It's a rat trap and you've been caught

(From 'A Tonic For The Troops'.)

2. Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell

What do you get when you turn the ideology and romanticism of Springsteen up to eleven?

Jim Steinman.

A demented genius who lives in some crazy Wagnerian netherworld where fanatical teenage emotions live forever, heaven and hell have both broken loose and everything's louder than everything else. Nothing succeeds like excess.

If you're looking to make an escape, I can suggest no better mode of transport than a silver Black Phantom bike.

(From 'Bat Out Of Hell'.)

1. Bruce Springsteen - Born To Run / Thunder Road

One of the greatest albums ever made, and it's essentially an ode to liberation. Each side opens with a quintessential escape song: how could I ever choose between them?

Oh-oh, baby this town rips the bones from your back

It's a death trap, it's a suicide rap

We gotta get out while we're young

`Cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run

It's town full of losers

And I'm pulling out of here to win!

(From 'Born To Run'.)

So... they were my favourites... which of your favourites escaped me?

Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life

If I'd murdered the boss who gave me my first job in radio back in 1988, I reckon I'd have been out of prison long before this. As it is, I feel like I've done the time without doing the crime.

But now I've finally been released, and not just for good behaviour. I'm free as a bird, and I'm never going back. It's forward all the way now. Even the sun has come out to congratulate me. And what better way to celebrate my new lease of life but by seeing my old pal Morrissey, live, tonight. Ironically, the gig's in Bradford... but I'm seeing it as my grand farewell to that inland town they forgot to bomb.

Thanks for all the well-wishy stuff. I promise I won't let the positivity poison this blog too much, we'll be back to the cynicism and grumbling very soon... after all, I've still got that Green Lantern review to write!

Redundant

After 23 years working for the same company, 15 of them on staff as a copywriter, I have been made redundant. I won't bore you with the whys and wherefores, the ins and outs, the tears and souvenirs of it all. It's not in my interest to talk about it and I doubt it'd be of interest to you. The fact is, I'm redundant...

Or am I?

It's a weird word, redundant. What does it really mean... and does it really mean me?

Let's ask the dictionary for a few definitions...

1. surplus to requirements; unnecessary or superfluous

Am I surplus to requirements? My former employers obviously think so. Others might (and hopefully will) disagree. I can't see anything wrong in being superfluous - you're one half super, to start with it. I'd always rather be 50% super than 60% shite.

2. verbose or tautological

I'll happily admit to the former - if you've ever read this blog, I can't really deny it. As to the latter, the secondary point, the issue of tautology described within... never.

3. deprived of one's job because it is no longer necessary for efficient operation: he has been made redundant

That would seem apparent.

4. being in excess; exceeding what is usual or natural: a redundant part.

You mean... like a mutant? Cool!

(Oh, stop being such a whinger, Cyclops. So you lost your job - big deal! Man up!)

5. characterized by verbosity or unnecessary repetition in expressing ideas; prolix: a redundant style.

Didn't we cover this already?

6. having some unusual or extra part or feature.

You mean, like six fingers or a vestigial tail? Again: cool. Can I have angel wings too?

But wait, let's look at the Latin derivation...

7. from Latin redundans - overflowing, from redundāre - to run back, stream over

Right at this moment, of all the definitions on offer, this is the one which feels most appropriate. Overflowing, streaming over... unable to contain my joy.

Yes, joy.

The truth is, I'm looking on this as, potentially, one of the most exciting things that's ever happened to me. The possibilities are endless, and I fully intend to seize every one of them by the throat or the balls or any other soft and vulnerable part within easy reach. The future's so bright...

...you know the rest.



(Only the 80s could give us a video like that. I do feel bad for the donkey though.)