I feel like chicken tonight, chicken tonight, chicken tonight...
20. Spitting Image - The Chicken Song
Gotta kick off with the obvious one. To 14 year old Rol, the Spitting Image Chicken Song was the height of hilarity. There's a certain irony that a sketch spoofing dreadful summer novelty records could spawn a Number One hit.
Put a deckchair up your nose...
(From 'Spit In Your Ear'.)
19. The Cramps - Chicken
You know I'm quickin' when I'm pickin' all the chicken
Greasy swamp rock of the highest calibre.
(From 'A Date With Elvis'.)
18. Paul Heaton - Little Red Rooster
Not to be confused with a certain other small crimson cockerel we'll meet further down the list...
(From 'The Cross Eyed Rambler'.)
17. Soho - Hippy Chick
Weird indie-dance hybrid from the early 90s which had the temerity to sample Johnny Marr's incredible guitar sound from How Soon Is Now. I hated it at the time, but find it weirdly nostalgic now.
(From 'Goddess'.)
16. The Moldy Peaches - Steak For Chicken
Humorous - if explicit - lyrics from Kimya Dawson and Adam Green (who we'll get back to shortly).
(From 'The Moldy Peaches'.)
15. Paul Weller - Peacock Suit
Not strictly a chicken, but one of Weller's better post-Jam sandwiches, so we'll let it sneak in the back of the henhouse.
(From 'Modern Classics - The Greatest Hits'.)
14. An April March - Chick Habit
60s curio revived by Quentin Tarantino for the movie Death Proof. Be cool.
(From 'Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof OST'.)
13. John Cooper Clarke - Evidently Chickentown
Punk poetry that elevates the use of the f-word to an art form. Or the word "bloody" if you hunt down the censored 12a version which appears to be polluting youtube.
(From 'Word Of Mouth - The Very Best Of John Cooper Clarke'.)
12. Evelyn Evelyn - Chicken Man
Surreal Vaudevillian romp from the conjoined Evelyn sisters (or Jason Webley and Amanda Palmer).
(From 'Evelyn Evelyn'.)
11. Monkey Swallows The Universe - Chicken Fat Waltz
Tragically short-lived folk-pop combo from Sheffield drop this tender ode to shyness...
I time my day and plan my route for a glimpse of your shoes
But I do not see if you see me
I stare at the floor as you move through the door
And on my way each day I think of all the things I could say
To make you see how nice I can be
But then you come my way and I’ve nothing to say
And you could have anyone, anyone, honey
You’ll probably have everyone, everyone, honey
While I dream of only one, only one, only one
(From 'The Casket Letters'.)
10. Supergrass - Mansize Rooster
In which the three cheeky chimps from Oxford climb into a bathtub together, naked. Bet they hated the director of that video.
(From 'I Should Coco'.)
9. Adam Green - Choke On A Cock
Watching Springwatch this week, seeing all those little chicks with their mouths open wide, waiting for mum to bring them food... which, in many case, turns out to be the chicks of smaller birds further down the food chain... I started to wonder if that's what inspired this particular number from Adam Green.
Hmmm... perhaps not. Still, it does give me an excuse to plug this tasty variety of soup, available now from your local Asda.
No, I wasn't paid for promoting that.
(From 'Gemstones'.)
8. Rufus Thomas - Do The Funky Chicken
Did Rufus Thomas look back on his career and regret that the song he became most famous for involved a funky chicken? Or that he helped inspire the Goodies...?
Considering his other hits included Walking The Dog, Can Your Monkey Do The Dog? and Do The Funky Penguin... probably not.
(From 'The Very Best Of Rufus Thomas'.)
7. Mansun - Take It Easy, Chicken
Their debut single, from 1996, featuring the kind of lyrics you imagine David Bowie snipping out of a newspaper and patching together with Pritt Stick.
(From 'Legacy: The Best Of Mansun'.)
6. Magnetic Fields - A Chicken With Its Head Cut Off
Well my heart's runnin' round like a chicken with its head cut off
All around the barn yard falling in and out of love
Poor thing's blind as a bat
Gettin' up, fallin' down, gettin' up
Who'd fall in love with a chicken with its head cut off?
Also contains the sung refrain "woah, nelly!" which only Stephin Merrit (or maybe Neil Hannon) could pull off.
(From the excellent '69 Love Songs'.)
5. Louis Jordan & His Timpany Five - There Ain't Nobody Here But Us Chickens
Originally recorded in 1946 and still causing a commotion in the chicken coop today.
(From 'The Best of Louis Jordan'.)
4. Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster - Chicken
The video involves the band being strung up on meathooks by a bunch of chicken-plucking rednecks straight out of Texas Chainsaw Massacre...
...which might explain why we've heard little from the Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster since.
(From 'Horse Of The Dog'.)
3. The Bees - Chicken Payback
The Bees' greatest moment. Despite google throwing up "The Bees Chicken Payback Lyrics Meaning" as a search suggestion, the internet was unable to tell me (a) what the heck this song is about or (b) what the heck the Bees were on when they recorded it.
(From 'Free the Bees'.)
2. The Rolling Stones - Little Red Rooster
Originally recorded by Howling Wolf in 1961, though it traces its roots back to the 20s and 30s. Sam Cooke also does an excellent version, but Mick's cocky, sleazy interpretation is probably most famous.
(From 'The Rolling Stones Singles Collection - The London Years'.)
1. John Grant - Chicken Bones
From one of the best albums of last year (its absence from my own Best of 2010 list can only be explained by the fact that I didn't hear it till 2011). The video features a down-at-heel superhero turning to the dark side. Worth a click if you have a spare five minutes, this is a great song to sing along to if you're having one of those days...
(From 'Queen Of Denmark'.)
Dare you suggest a favourite... or a noteworthy omission... OR... are you chicken?
