We'll get back to sexy next week... today though, we're going with soppy. Or not, as many of these songs look at the darker side of Valentine's Day. Which is good because I've never been a fan. If you're not in a relationship, it's just another kick in the ribs. If you are... well, not everything's roses, is it?
Sounding like the Jesus & Mary Chain playing Unchained Melody in a Twin Peaks bar, this track is available to download free (along with the rest of their excellent album, Post-Apocalyptic Love) from the Very Sexuals website.
Nobody writes "driving to see my baby" songs like Bruce and this is one of his most atmospheric. Like much of the Tunnel Of Love album, it's dark and dramatic.
Is it the sound of the leaves Left blown by the wayside That's got me out here on this spooky old highway tonight? Is it the cry of the river With the moonlight shining through? That ain't what scares me baby What scares me is losing you
Ah, Ruth... with tunes this good, you should have been massive.
1. Billy Bragg - Valentine's Day Is Over
One of Billy's best. Damn, these lyrics take some beating...
Thank you for the things you bought me, thank you for the card Thank you for the things you taught me when you hit me hard That love between two people must be based on understanding Until that's true you'll find your things All stacked out on the landing, surprise, surprise Valentine's Day is over
But which song were you hoping for in the post this morning?
Lee Mavers and co. recorded one album in 1990, promptly disowned it, then spent the following 21 years "on hiatus". Talk about "difficult second album syndrome".
All my life goes by in Doledrum I'll see ninety-five in Doledrum
Treasure this moment, it's probably the first, last and only time you'll ever see a Simply Red song in one of my mixtapes.
Here, Mick Hucknall has been laid off from work, his kids all need shoes, and the bank don't want to know. I might sympathise... if he wasn't Mick Hucknall.
Billy and co. update this traditional folk song, dedicating it to unemployed farmers across the country...
Time was, I could sell what I grew in the shop. Then Tesco's turned up all of that had to stop. Now I can't make a living out of my crop. Singing, oh, the hard times of old England, In old England very hard times.
And things were even harder for the unemployed before the days of the welfare state...
I mined in your mines and I gathered in your corn I been working, mister, since the day I was born Now I worry all the time like I never did before 'Cause I ain't got no home in this world anymore
Not the Morrissey classic about winning yourself a cheap tray... but an ode to unemployment from a bunch of slackers... who you'd probably expect to enjoy unemployment a little more than they do.
Everyday is Sunday When you're unemployed Sounds pretty good man I should be overjoyed
Every day is Sunday Every day is Sunday Every day is Sunday Friday never comes
Do you think I should write a novel? Maybe write some songs? I'll show you I'm the genius You thought I was all along
More farmers forced to sell their farms when the bank forecloses, from another artist who owes his entire career to Woody Guthrie. And, as so often in these stories, it all ends with rain on the scarecrow... and blood on the plough.
The irony being that by the time the second Kenickie album hit the shops, most of the band were on the dole. At least Lauren Laverne went on to find alternative employment.
I got hired but I got tired of draining the pool for you. I got tired but not so blue, To see the cracks in you. I got hired against my wish, With better prospects, after this.
I can think of worse resignation letters you could write... this should probably have made last week's list though.
If ever there was a rock star who epitomised what we might call "dole scum chic", it's Pete Doherty. This song was named after the Walter Greenwood novel, adapted into a film in 1941 starring Deborah Kerr as Waynetta Slob.
Adrian reminded me of this one after last week's Top Ten 'I Quit!' Songs. Do you want to make tea at the BBC? (Hint: it'll probably be more fulfilling than making the tea at ILR.)
Was there ever a more accurate description of what it feels like to be laid off...?
Watch out world, I’m a man at ease Free to do whatever when I want Lonely heathland here I come Deathless, useless bracken underfoot
There’s people who can’t spell ‘weird’ right Driving round with thousands in the bank But I get by, got a lot on my mind I get by, got allotments on my mind
Unlike a lot of the people on this list, Fred Jones is actually sad to be losing his job...
Fred sits alone at his desk in the dark There's an awkward young shadow that waits in the hall He's cleared all his things and he's put them in boxes Things that remind him: 'Life has been good' Twenty-five years He's worked at the paper A man's here to take him downstairs And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones It's time
The perils of living with an unemployed girlfriend or girlfriend, along with typically blunt advice on how to deal with them. At least the video gave temporary employment to an entire small town.
Nina ain't got no home, no shoes, no money, no skirts and no sweater. She does have her tongue, her chin, her neck and her boobies though. I'm not entirely sure what alternate career path she's advising here...
Yes, the most misunderstood song in the history of rock is actually the story of a disgruntled GI returning from Vietnam to find nobody will give him a job.
Come back home to the refinery Hiring man says, "son, if it were up to me..." Went down to see my VA man, He says, "son, don't you understand?"
Probably not the song you expected to top this chart (if you've ever even heard of it), but this is one of my favourites from Everclear. It never fails to make me smile.
Ever been chatted up down the Job Centre?
Blimey - 25 songs about unemployment. But which omissions made me fail the interview?
I'm not a huge fan of dance music, but this Orbital track stuck in my mind from about 15 years ago because of it's amusingly sampled intro, and I had to recruit the twitter hivemind to help me remember it.
Daddy, what does regret mean? Well son, the funny thing about regret is, It's better to regret something you have done, Than to regret something you haven't done. And by the way, if you see your mom this weekend, Be sure and tell her, SATAN, SATAN, SATAN!!!
Apparently, the sample originates from a Butthole Surfers track called Sweat Loaf. Which is nice.
How can you sleep at night when nobody likes the music we like? How am I supposed to sleep at night when no one likes the music we write? Record buying public, we hate them This is Art Brut vs. Satan Don't worry, we can take 'em!
Poor old Moz (#4765). Even Satan doesn't want him.
So, my little devils... which Satanic Song do you worship?
For more festive Satanic Santa fun, can I direct you towards this week's Thoughtballoons story? Ryan chose Santa Claus as this week's character... and I did a very bad thing.
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