My Top Ten Thunder Songs

So the THOR movie is almost upon us and appears to be getting halfway decent reviews too. Good old Kenneth Branagh, eh? I won't be seeing it for a while, but in honour of the God of Thunder, what better than a Top Ten Thunder songs?

If you're really good, we'll do lightning next week.

Special mentions go to Thunder, Thunderthighs, Thunderclap Newman... and (thanks to Rob), Thor himself... with Thunder On The Tundra! (Nice hammer.)



10. Kiss - God Of Thunder ( From Greatest Hits)

The most appropriate record on the list, if not the best, though Kiss seem to be confusing Thor with Elvis... he's not just the God of Thunder, he's also the God of Rock 'n' Roll. And a very naughty boy too, no doubt.

9. Leo Sayer - Thunder In My Heart ( From The Show Must Go On: The Very Best Of Leo Sayer)

Man, that is one serious 'do, Leo.

I can't help but think of Kenny Everett while watching this video.

8.Alphabeat - 10,000 Nights Of Thunder ( From This is Alphabeat)

I know absolutely zilch about Alphabeat, but this record found its way onto my radar a couple of years back and it's not an unpleasant way to spend 3 minutes and 30 seconds.

This is the first time I've ever seen the video though... and if I didn't know better, I'd swear the (male) lead singer was a young Chris Morris.

7. John Cougar Mellencamp - Thundering Hearts ( From American Fool)

Back when he was just a Cougar, JM took a motorcycle ride through the valley of the Thundering Hearts, and this was the result.

Louise recently bought Guitar Hero for her wii. Yes, we've jumped on board the Guitar Hero craze just as everybody else jumped off it (or maybe not). Anyway, one of our favourite songs to play, from Guitar Hero 5, is JCM's Hurts So Good. Just in case you were wondering.

6. The Kinks - Johnny Thunder

From my favourite Kinks album, The Village Green Preservation Society, the songs takes its name from the same DC Comics character that also christened the late New Yorks Dolls guitarist.

5. Tina Turner - We Don't Need Another Hero (Thunderdome) ( From All The Best)

From the movie Mad Max 3 - Beyond Thunderdome (1985) [DVD] - now there's a killer idea... Thor vs. Max Rockatansky. (Not in 3D.) C'mon, Hollywood - make it happen!

4. ACDC - Thunderstruck ( From The Razor's Edge)

Featured in the soundtrack to Iron Man 2(although the soundtrack to Iron Man 2 was pretty much a crass exercise at shifting a Greatest Hits album for a band that never does Greatest Hits albums).

Still worth getting your old school uniform on for...

3. Tom Jones - Thunderball ( From Best of Bond...James Bond)

Another soundtrack favourite. Tom Jones allegedly fainted while singing the last line in the recording studio, so much thunder did he put into his performance. Big girl's blouse.

2. Prince - Thunder

Here's a story I might have told before.

Thunder is the opening track to the album Diamonds And Pearls. I remember buying the CD as soon as it came out and rushing home to listen to it. Realising I had to work that night, I decided to copy the CD onto cassette to listen to in my car on the way (this was 1991, so forgive me for not having an in-car CD player). To make sure the album filled the cassette, I programmed the CD player to repeat-play then left it recording while I went to have my tea. I returned, picked up the cassette, and set off to work. Thunder was a great opening track and I was really enjoying it... but, boy, did it go on. I was halfway to work before I started to get a little bored of it - how long was this track anyway? Was track 2 ever going to begin?

No. It wasn't. Because rather than repeat-play the whole album, I'd set the cassette to record repeat-play just track 1... and filled an entire C90 with it. A great song then... but perhaps not one you want to hear for an hour and a half solid.

1. Bruce Springsteen - Thunder Road ( From Born To Run)

There is a constant debate going on in my head about which is my favourite Bruce Springsteen song. This is always one of the top contenders, and therefore has a pretty good chance of getting into my Top Ten Favourite Songs of ALL TIME.

The screen door slams
Mary's dress waves
Like a vision she dances across the porch
As the radio plays
Roy Orbison singing for the lonely
Hey that's me and I want you only
Don't turn me home again
I just can't face myself alone again



Do you have thunder in your heart? What song's it playing?

(Attention, Thor-fans, I reviewed Thor Visionaries Walt Simonson Volume 1 over at Comics On The Ration last week. Go there and say hi to Rob.)

Top Ten Self-Pity Songs (Volume 2)

Some guy on the net thinks I suck and he should know
He's got his own blog!

By popular demand, I'm back with another pathetic playlist of pity. Many thanks to everyone who suggested songs last time, some of which are included here, others will be featured in the future.

You know the drill by now... this is Radio I Hate Myself & Want To Die FM!

10. Skinny - Failure


"Why have I always been a failure?" asked Skinny in 1998. It must have been doubly galling for them when Moby was such a success.

9. Tom Jones - I (Who Have Nothing)


You know that Cee-Lo Green chart-topper I was raving about? Here's its 1970 predecessor courtesy of the Welsh warbler.

8.Superman Revenge Squad - Pupkin

This homage to Robert DeNiro's King of Comedy deserves a post all its own. I strongly urge you to read the lyrics below, and if they strike a chord, follow the link to Ben Parker's website and give him some money. He has a new record out now.

I've been looking through loads of books of old lyrics that I wrote,
I've been wondering if I have really developed at all,
I used to want to be Billy Corgan now I can't remember what I once saw in those sentimental, over-produced songs he used to sing to me,
I was at home and feeling lonely, he was out there making loads of cash...

Used to want to be a writer
But now I'd take a lighter to those stories
I thought I'd be changing people's lives
I thought I'd have the Booker Prize
Now I realise that they're just lies
People tell themselves because hey don't wanna get a job

What's the point of singing songs you don't believe in
Just 'cos people say they might make you money?
And is Robbie from Eastenders really sexy
Just 'cos people recognise him from the telly?
And if Newsnight Review look at everything you do
And they decide it's crap
Is it really time to pack it in?
And no matter how many times I do this thing
Will I still feel like Rupert Pupkin?

I used to wanna be in Iron Maiden
Now I can't imagine what I'd do
With the money that I'd come into
Just for playing shows and hanging out with Bruce
And spending my spare time with Mötley Crüe
I mean, would I really care
About the people that stare
And point at the spandex clothes that I wear
If it was something I really wanted to do?

What's the point of singing songs you don't believe in
Just 'cos people say they might make you money?
And is Robbie from Eastenders really sexy
Just 'cos people recognise him from the telly?
And if Newsnight Review look at everything you do
And they decide it's crap
Is it really time to pack it in?
And no matter how many times I do this thing
Will I still feel like Rupert Pupkin?

7. Bloodhound Gang - Why Is Everybody Always Picking On Me?

Juvenile in the extreme, like The Inbetweeners on record, yet I can't help but sympathise...

6. Gilbert O'Sullivan - Alone Again (Naturally)


A song that begins with Gilbert being jilted at the altar and ends with the death of both his parents - you can't really blame him for feeling sorry for himself.

See also Nothing Rhymed, a song so monumentally miserable that even Morrissey struggled to make it through to the end when covering it live.

5. Babybird - Unlovable


Speaking of Morrissey... there is, of course, a masterclass in self-pity from The Smiths that goes under the same title as this recent offering from Babybird - you know, it's the one where Moz declares "I wear black on the outside, black is how I feel on the inside". I'd have given my right arm for a T-shirt with that on the front when I was 15 (and it'd only have needed one sleeve).

Babybird's song isn't quite that tragic, but it is a fine example of the quality of work on Stephen Jones's 10th album, Ex-Maniac, released earlier this year. Plus the video was directed by Johnny Deep. Yes, that Johnny Depp.

4. Luxembourg - Single


"I wouldn't wish my life upon anyone else..." sings David Shah on this peerless ode to failing to bother the charts. "I can't spend another summer burning copies of my debut single in my bedroom," he continues, "I can't spend another Sunday crying on the sofa as another opportunity passes me by."

You can download the entire album free from their Last FM page. I'd highly recommend you do that. Now.

3. Nick Drake - Poor Boy

How did I get this far into an appreciation of supreme self-pity without any Nick Drake? Poor, poor Nick Drake - I'll weep for him forever.

2. Ben Folds / Nick Hornby - A Working Day

The opening track to the new Ben Folds / Nick Hornby collaboration. Seriously - Ben Folds and Nick Hornby made a record together. Ben on music and vocals, Nick on lyrics. Until Stephen King and Bruce Springsteen team up, or Morrissey and Douglas Coupland, this is my dream muso-author combo.

Some guy on the net thinks I suck and he should know
He's got his own blog!

I'm a loser
I'm a poser
Yeah really
It's over
I mean it and I quit
Everything I write is shit

Hey, hey
It's a working day
Hey, hey
It's a working day

Somehow it's reassuring to know that even Ben Folds and Nick Hornby have days like that.

1. Janis Ian - At Seventeen

A song I find almost too painful to listen to. And I'm a boy...

To those of us who knew the pain
Of valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me

Go on world - hurt each other, kill each other, do anything you want!

I just don't care any more.