The Top Ten Fat Songs

The news keeps telling us we're living through an Obesity Epidemic. Britain and the USA are the worst offenders - apparently half the UK will be clinically obese by the year 2030.

Personally, I think if your weight is making you miserable, or affecting your day-to-day health... then do something about it. But if you're happy as you are - well, life's too short not to have that extra helping of pudding. You might be hit by a bus tomorrow. And the more padding you have, the more chance of survival.

Here's 10 songs to help you celebrate letting your belt out one more notch...

10. The Fat Boys & Chubby Checker - The Twist

(From 'The Best Of The Fat Boys'.)

Everyone laughed at The Fat Boys, but the Fat Boys had the last laugh when they became a huge success with their humorous rapping and human beatbox performances. Sadly, one of the Fat Boys died of a heart attack aged only 28. The other two appear to have slimmed down a little since then.

9. Chris Difford - Fat As A Fiddle

(From 'The Last Temptation Of Chris'.)

Now I have tits just like my mum
I'm out breath before I run
I like to eat because it's fun
But it comes at such a price.

I'm on the old brown rice and the herbal tea for the greater part of me.

If ever there were any doubt that Chris Difford is one of our greatest living lyricists...

8. Black Grape - Fat Neck

(From 'It's Great When You're Straight ... Yeah'.)

I dunno, I reckon if I had Shaun Ryder telling me I had a fat neck - I mean, Shaun Ryder! - that'd probably send me down Weightwatchers. The government ought to appoint him as Minister For Health. He'd sort out the obesity epidemic quick smart.

7. Babybird - 45 & Fat

(From 'Ugly Beautiful'.)

I'm working on my middle-aged spread so that in a few years time I can adopt this as my theme song. Pizza for tea last night - fish and chips for lunch today!

Stephen Jones claims here that he'll "sing about love until he's 45 and fat". He must have changed his mind, otherwise he'd have quit three years back. Phew!

6. Fats Domino - The Fat Man

(From 'Greatest Hits: Walking To New Orleans'.)

They call him the Fat Man - 'cos he weighs 200 pounds
But all the girls love him, 'cos he knows his way around

I bet Cee Lo Green can sympathise...

5. Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls

(From 'Jazz'.)

There were those who accused Queen of sexism back when this record was released in 1978. Oh yes, those enlightened ultra-pc days of the 70s! Compared to the likes of Sir Mixalot, Freddie and the gang's attitude now seems tame and quaint. Also - Freddie Mercury: sexist? Puh-lease.

4. Bad Manners - Lip Up, Fatty

(From 'Bad Manners'.)

Ah, Buster Bloodvessel. The world's unlikeliest pop star. The history of pop just wouldn't be the same without his boiler-suited girth. OK, Buster, you can put your tongue away now. Please.

3. Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine - Sheriff Fatman

(From 'Straw Donkey: the Singles'.)

Someone call up Roger Cook and The United Nations!

2. Morrissey - You're The One For Me, Fatty

(From 'Your Arsenal'.)

Say what you want about Morrissey, but he knows his fanbase. He knows its made up of the lonely, the unpretty, the people who feel they don't quite belong, the freaks and geeks. (Hey, I should know.) And just as he reached out and put his arms around the wheelchair-bound "monster" spawned in November, here he gives a big hug to everyone who knows that Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others. For someone who hates the human race as much as Morrissey appears to, he's a mass of contradictions.

1. The Beautiful South - Perfect 10

(From 'Quench'.)

Here's a healthy response to the weight issue, from Paul Heaton and Jacqui Abbott...

If he's extra large - well, I'm in charge

I can work this thing on top

And if he's XXL - well, what the hell?

Every penny doesn't fit the slot

The anorexic chicks - the model 6...

Don't hold no weight with me

Well 8 or 9, yeah, that's just fine

I like to hold something I can see

It's obviously a subject close to Heaton's waistline as he released his debut solo album 'Fat Chance' under the pseudonym 'Biscuit Boy'.



OK, put down that cake and tell me your favourite fat song in the comments... and while you're getting interactive, don't forget to vote in this week's Title Fight - which is your favourite 'Drive' song?

Top Ten Club Songs

For those of you frightened that I'm about to unveil my staggering lack of knowledge / interest in dance culture... quiver ye not. No banging club anthems here. As Groucho Marx put it, "I don't care to belong to any club that would have me as a member". Chances are none of these would, but I'm filing my application as we speak...

10. The Beatles - Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club (Band) ( From Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band)

I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't. Bored with the Beatles I may be, but there's no denying this record was important and contained some of their finest moments - notably She's Leaving Home and A Day In The Life. I always thought the title track was self-consciously kitsch though...

9. Arctic Monkeys - Ravey Ravey Ravey Club

One of the earliest Monkeys songs, never officially released (I don't think) though they did give it away online, along with much of their early material, to help build their reputation. You know, back when tricks like that actually worked.

8. B52's - Deadbeat Club ( From Funplex)

From their 2008 album, in which the B52s came back after 16 years without releasing a new record... sounding like they'd never been away.

We're wild girls walkin' down the street
Wild girls and boys going out for a big time
We're the deadbeat club

See, I consider myself something of a deadbeat, yet nobody's ever called me a wild boy. Some contradiction going on there, Fred...

7. Little Man Tate - The Self Appreciation Club

Little Man Tate sprung up in the wake of the Arctic Monkeys success, another Sheffield band who traded in witty observational lyrics and twanging guitars. Success never really came their way though and a lot of critics unjustly labelled them Monkeys wannabes. This song, released towards the end of their career, responded thus...

And I know that it must be great
To have a friend in a higher place
But suddenly someone forgets your name
And we're another band that sound the same
And everybody's searching for the next big thing
Then they laugh and they point as they stare at them sing
Nothing worse than to just criticise
With a tongue in your cheek and a mouth full of lies


Their tongues are shaped like razorblades
You're not welcome in this place
Don't you ever show your face
Oh now listen, son, remember
You will never be a member of the...
Self-Appreciation Club.

To show my appreciation, I purposely placed them higher than the Monkeys in this list. Let them win just once...

6. Edward Ball - The Mill Hill Self-Hate Club ( From Catholic Guilt)

From Self-Appreciation to Self-Hate... two sides of the same coin?

Former member of both The Television Personalities and The Times, Edward Ball went solo in the late 80s and scored his biggest "hit" with this poppy little number sometime around the height of Britpop.

5. Wham! - Club Tropicana ( From The Best of Wham!)

Say what you like about George Michael...

OK, you can stop now.

No, really...

SHUT UP!

Anyway, Wham! were a great pop band, no arguments. Besides, at Club Tropicana, the drinks are free...

4. The Scaremongers - Grouse Beaters Boys' Club ( From Born In A Barn)

Because I haven't mentioned Simon Armitage enough this week.

3. The Dust Brothers - This Is Your Life (Theme From Fight Club) ( From Fight Club (Music from Dust Brothers))

This is your life

And its ending one minute at a time

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake

You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else

We are all a part of the same compost heap

We are the all singing, all dancing crap of the world

You are not your bank account

You are not the clothes you wear

You are not the contents of your wallet

You are not your bowel cancer

You are not your grande latte

You are not the car you drive

You are not your fucking khakis

You have to give up

Welcome to Fight Club... if this is your first night... you have to fight.

2. Babybird - Failed Suicide Club ( From last year's excellent album Ex-Maniac)

Easy enough instructions to follow...

Step one, don’t kill yourself
Step two, don’t do yourself in
Step three, don’t play with knives
Step four, don’t trust anyone


When you’re kicked around and knocked down
And you’ve got nothing left to give
And you can’t breathe, and you can’t hear yourself think
Climb up on your box, take the rope down from the beam
Baby wake up, it’s not a dream


Yes you’ve made it, you’re here
At the failed suicide club
Sitting in a circle, crying…

I can't help but be reminded of Queen's similarly helpful ditty Don't Try Suicide ( from The Game) with its equally didactic refrain...

Don't try suicide
Nobody's worth it
Don't try suicide
Nobody cares
Don't try suicide
You're just gonna hate it
Don't try suicide
Nobody gives a damn

But enough of that. I'm saving them both for the inevitable Top Ten Suicide Songs... possibly the last Top Ten I ever write.

1. John Grant - Silver Platter Club ( from Queen Of Denmark)

If I could redo my Top Ten Albums of 2010, Queen of Denmark would have bumped Eels out of the Top Five.

I wish that I was good at football, baseball and lacrosse
Darts and basketball, and poker, golf and chess


I wish that confidence was all you could see in my eyes
Like those interviews in locker rooms with talented sports guys


I wish I had no self-awareness like the guys I know
Float right through their lives without a thought


And that I didn't give a shit what anybody thought of me
That I was so relaxed you'd think that I was bored


I'm sorry that they didn't hand it to me
On a silver platter, like they did to you
I'm sorry that I wasn't able to become
The man you think I should aspire to

And... because it's bound to come up in the comments... here are ten other clubs I'd have no objection to joining...

10. Two Door Cinema Club ( Tourist History)
9. Timex Social Club
8. Bombay Bicycle Club ( I Had The Blues But I Shook Them Loose)
7. Hot Club De Paris ( Drop It Till It Pops)
6. American Music Club ( Mercury)
5. Tom Tom Club ( Tom Tom Club)
4. The Cammell Laird Social Club ( Cammell Laird Social Club)
3. The Black Rebel Motorcycle Club ( B.R.M.C.)
2. Slow Club ( YEAH, SO?)
1. Teenage Fanclub ( Songs From Northern Britain)

Sorry, no room for Culture Club or S Club. Their name wasn't down, they're not getting in.

Which club would you pay to be part of?

Top Ten Bastard Songs

How juvenile am I? First Top Ten of 2011, and I pick a sweary word. Maybe I thought I'd end up with a cooler list of artists (and no Barry Manilow songs) if I compiled a Top Ten Bastards. How wrong can one man be...?

10. Mötley Crüe - Bastard

Before you mock the Crüe, consider that they've sold over 80 million albums. Can that many hair metal idiots be wrong? I have more respect for them after reading Chuck Klosterman's poignant and hilarious memoir Fargo Rock City. Not a whole lot more respect, but some. At the end of the day, their drummer did marry Pamela Anderson. I suppose somebody had to.

9. The Replacements - Bastards Of Young

Unlike the Crüe, Paul Westerberg's Replacements are one of those bands everybody always claims to have been into back in the 80s when really they only actually discovered them long after they'd split up. Go on, admit it. Unless you're really cool, like Miller. In which case you probably bought their first album when you were 9 or something. (Did that sound sarcastic? It was actually meant to be a compliment. See, I can't even give my mates compliments without it sounding sarcastic. Grrr.)

Sadly, the Replacements haven't sold 80 million records.

8. Ben Folds - Bastard

Kids today gettin' old too fast
they can't wait to grow up so they can kiss some ass
They get nostalgic about the last ten years
before the last ten years have passed

Pretty soon, you'll be an old bastard too

So why you gotta act like you know when you don't know?
It's OK if you don't know everything

7. Arab Strap - Fucking Little Bastards

And you think I'm misanthropic? Imagine if I was Scottish too...

6. Half Man Half Biscuit - The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman

If you don't know who Dean Friedman is, consider yourself deprived. He's the poodle-faced god of 70s MOR-storytelling who brought us such classics as Ariel, Lydia, 'Well, Well' Said The Rocking Chair and the divine duet (with Denise Marsa) Lucky Stars. I don't use the word 'genius' lightly etc. etc....

Who better than Nigel Blackwell and the infamous Biscuit to pay tribute to this Titan of Tunesmithery (still on tour, coming soon to a leisure centre near you)?

And you can thank your lucky stars that you're not
The bastard son of Dean Friedman.

5. Ol' Dirty Bastard feat. Kelis - Baby I Got Your Money

You have to feel bad for Mr. and Mrs. Bastard. That name was like an albatross. Whatever they chose to christen their little boy, people were always going to take the piss. I mean... Kevin? Barry? Complete? Heartless? They must have exhausted that book of baby names before coming up with Ol' Dirty. Still, at least they kept Dirty as the middle name. Presumably to avoid causing further embarrassment to his teachers when calling the register.

4. Ian Dury & The Blockheads - There Ain't Half Been Some Clever Bastards

Ian Dury was fearless in the face of rhyming couplets - he bent them to his will. This song is the perfect example of his art... especially verse 3.

Einstein can't be classed as witless.
He claimed atoms were the littlest.
When you did a bit of splitting-em-ness
Frighten everybody shitless

3. Babybird - Bastard

Another track from my 7th favourite album of last year...

You can love me if you want to
But it's best if you don't
You can believe me, you can deceive me
But it's best if you don't

You could date me, you could hate me
But it's best if you don't
We could have kids, we could grow old
But it's best if we don't

I'm untouchable, yes I am
But if you wanna touch me, you can
I'm a bastard, you know that I am
But that's just what you like in a man

Everybody knows Babybird's biggest hit was You're Gorgeous... but coincidentally, it was spoofed by Mark 'n' Lard in The Shirehorses in a track called You're A Bastard.

2. Town Bike - Bastard Heart

Coming on like a Scouse version of the Donnas, Town Bike are the kind of hard-living punk rock chicks who scare the pants off weedy wallflower indie kids like me... but in a good way. Their debut album Go! Fight! Win! was released last year and you can download their amusingly sweary break-up single Bastard Heart (along with its Kiss-cover Crazy Crazy Nights b-side) for free ('n' legal) at the link above. If you like that, why not pop over to their myspace to hear more?

1. Charlotte Hatherley - Bastardo

An all-too autobiographical-sounding tale of holiday romance has Charlotte Hatherley seduced by a Spanish lothario (played by David Walliams) only to wake the next morning to find him gone... along with her precious guitar. Although he did leave a few Euros with thanks for the memories...

(Simon Pegg also pops up in the spoof girl's comic video as a Spanish waiter.)



I know, I'm a bastard because I didn't include...?

2010 - Albums Of The Year (Top 10)

Numbers 20 - 11 are here...

Now prepare yourself for the horror that is my Top Ten...


10. Manic Street Preachers - Postcards From A Young Man

I really do not get "embedding disabled by request" on youtube. Why would the record companies not want me to cross-promote their songs? Could they be scared someone might hear it and actually want to buy a copy? It's another ridiculous example of copyright law being used to shoot yourself in the foot, and I expect more from the Manics. I reckon there's more chance of you clicking play on an embedded video than clicking a link to that video - it's only a couple of extra clicks, but we all have such a fast-paced, "feed me now" lives, those two extra clicks are a great big wall of stop. I mean, you've already quit reading this paragraph because it's gone on for more than 5 lines, haven't you? Your granny's a whore. See? Nobody even flinched.

Anyway, the new Manics album. I liked it much more than the last one (the one all the real Manics fans loved because it used up all Ritchie's old lyrics) but not as much as the one before (the one with tigers).

9. Titus Andronicus - The Monitor

No, I never wanted to change the world,
But I'm looking for a new New Jersey
Because tramps like us, baby, we were born to die

Any band that quotes Billy Bragg and Bruce Springsteen within two consecutive lines... well, you know they've got me, right?

While The Gaslight Anthem sounded more and more like a Bruce tribute act this year, Titus Andronicus took the Born To Run spirit and fired it with a punk ethos that... shit, I hate it when I sound like a music journo.

This is ace. Click play now.



8. Dan Le Sac Vs. Scroobius Pip - The Logic Of Chance

What's this? Hip hop? Electronica? Rap? In my Top Ten? Surely this is taking up space that could be given to more landfill indie or another sad old bastard songwriter? What the fuck is wrong with me?

I first became interested in the songwriting of Scroobius Pip with his masterful list song Thou Shalt Always Kill. It made me laugh and touched a nerve, but I really didn't expect to enjoy a whole album of this stuff.

Guess what?

(The song below offers further explanation.)



7. Babybird - Ex-Maniac

Babybird? Ah, that's more like what you expect. Obscure one-hit wonder Britpop losers long past their sell-by date. From Sheffield too!

Actually, I was never a huge Babybird fan. I've liked a few of his songs, but never fallen for a whole album. This one took me by surprise. I liked the lead single, Unlovable, enough to give it a shot - and boy, was I glad I did. There's honesty, wit and a refreshing lack of cliche about his songwriting, particularly on tracks like Failed Suicide Club, the heartbreaking Rest Of Our Lives (one of my Songs of the Year) and the Daily Mail-baiting Like Them...



6. Justin Currie - The Great War

More mature songwriting and world weary cynicism from the ex-Del Amitri bloke, now writing the strongest material of his career.

I stand on a mountain of pitiful prose
My mind is a fountain that pointlessly flows
They give you a trophy if you make the kids scream
But it's such a joke to me; how insipid I've been.

I hate the world they gave me,
I hate the world they gave me

In Morrissey's absence, Justin Currie will be writing the story of my life this year.

Sigh.



5. Eels - Tomorrow Morning

More and more artists are shaking off the shackles of big corporate record deals (a new album every two years, please) and catering to a smaller, loyaler fanbase with far more frequent releases. E has released two albums this year (three in the last 18 months), and like James before him they were thematically linked. While Tim Booth & co. gave us an upbeat Saturday night record followed by a laid back Sunday morning, E gave us an album of heartbreak (End Times) followed by this... his most positive and forward-looking record to date.



4. Frank Turner - Rock 'n' Roll / Poetry Of The Deed

My most important musical find of 2010 (Amanda Palmer was second), Frank Turner is another artist who combines the fire, lyrical nous and inspirational self-belief of young Bragg and Springsteen to show-stopping effect. He sings every song like his life depends on it. Our lives too. The sort of artist who doesn't need to carve 'For Real' into his forearm... he just is.

Strictly speaking, Poetry Of The Deed was released in 2009 (though Frank was still promoting it and releasing singles from it in 2010) and Rock 'n' Roll is a mini album, what they used to call an EP. But Frank Turner has been such an important discovery for me this year (his previous albums Sleep Is For The Week and Love, Ire & Song are also worthy of investigation), he deserved a place on this list. Very excited to hear what he does next.



3. Bruce Springsteen - The Promise

Another record that, strictly speaking, shouldn't really be here. After all, the tracks on this double album were mostly recorded in the mid-70s in preparation for Bruce's follow-up to Born To Run, Darkness On The Edge Of Town. You know the story by now... and if you don't, I doubt anything I say will make you care.

What strikes me most about listening to this record is how much bigger a pop star Bruce could have been in the 70s (prior to his eventual worldwide breakthrough in the 80s). Rejected songs like Fever, Because The Night and Someday We'll Be Together would have been massive radio hits, far more so than any of the tracks he actually chose to release. But that just wasn't where he wanted to be at that point in his career... you've got to respect that.



2. Ben Folds & Nick Hornby - Lonely Avenue

These days, Ben Folds seems to do his best work when he's working with somebody else. The Shatner album was inspired insanity, but hooking up with author Nick Hornby gave him possibly the strongest record of his solo career. A selection of short stories, from the heartwarming biog-song of Doc Pomus to a blues track based on Sarah Palin's unwanted son-in-law Levi Johnson ("I'm a fuckin' redneck, I live to hang out with the boys, Play some hockey, do some fishin' and kill some moose") to the self-loving/self-loathing delights of A Working Day ("Some guy on the net thinks I suck and he should know - he's got his own blog.")

And then there's this... Belinda... my song of the year...




1. The Indelicates - Songs For Swinging Lovers

They did it again.

Scoring my favourite album of 2008 with their debut, American Demo, the Indelicates returned to prove there's no such thing as Difficult Second Album Syndrome (and they're already working on their third). Broadening their musical horizons in all kinds of different directions (if I were a true muso, I'd namedrop Kurt Weill and the like - but what do I know about these things?), this is further proof of their genius. Witty, angry, iconoclastic, tender, surprising, joyful, intense, uncompromising... etc. etc. etc.

The most exciting band of the 21st Century.

Why aren't you listening to them?

Download the album direct from their website - you can even choose how much you pay. Anything less than the entire contents of your bank account and you're getting a bargain.









Happy New Year, folks - see you on the other side.

Top Ten Self-Pity Songs (Volume 2)

Some guy on the net thinks I suck and he should know
He's got his own blog!

By popular demand, I'm back with another pathetic playlist of pity. Many thanks to everyone who suggested songs last time, some of which are included here, others will be featured in the future.

You know the drill by now... this is Radio I Hate Myself & Want To Die FM!

10. Skinny - Failure


"Why have I always been a failure?" asked Skinny in 1998. It must have been doubly galling for them when Moby was such a success.

9. Tom Jones - I (Who Have Nothing)


You know that Cee-Lo Green chart-topper I was raving about? Here's its 1970 predecessor courtesy of the Welsh warbler.

8.Superman Revenge Squad - Pupkin

This homage to Robert DeNiro's King of Comedy deserves a post all its own. I strongly urge you to read the lyrics below, and if they strike a chord, follow the link to Ben Parker's website and give him some money. He has a new record out now.

I've been looking through loads of books of old lyrics that I wrote,
I've been wondering if I have really developed at all,
I used to want to be Billy Corgan now I can't remember what I once saw in those sentimental, over-produced songs he used to sing to me,
I was at home and feeling lonely, he was out there making loads of cash...

Used to want to be a writer
But now I'd take a lighter to those stories
I thought I'd be changing people's lives
I thought I'd have the Booker Prize
Now I realise that they're just lies
People tell themselves because hey don't wanna get a job

What's the point of singing songs you don't believe in
Just 'cos people say they might make you money?
And is Robbie from Eastenders really sexy
Just 'cos people recognise him from the telly?
And if Newsnight Review look at everything you do
And they decide it's crap
Is it really time to pack it in?
And no matter how many times I do this thing
Will I still feel like Rupert Pupkin?

I used to wanna be in Iron Maiden
Now I can't imagine what I'd do
With the money that I'd come into
Just for playing shows and hanging out with Bruce
And spending my spare time with Mötley Crüe
I mean, would I really care
About the people that stare
And point at the spandex clothes that I wear
If it was something I really wanted to do?

What's the point of singing songs you don't believe in
Just 'cos people say they might make you money?
And is Robbie from Eastenders really sexy
Just 'cos people recognise him from the telly?
And if Newsnight Review look at everything you do
And they decide it's crap
Is it really time to pack it in?
And no matter how many times I do this thing
Will I still feel like Rupert Pupkin?

7. Bloodhound Gang - Why Is Everybody Always Picking On Me?

Juvenile in the extreme, like The Inbetweeners on record, yet I can't help but sympathise...

6. Gilbert O'Sullivan - Alone Again (Naturally)


A song that begins with Gilbert being jilted at the altar and ends with the death of both his parents - you can't really blame him for feeling sorry for himself.

See also Nothing Rhymed, a song so monumentally miserable that even Morrissey struggled to make it through to the end when covering it live.

5. Babybird - Unlovable


Speaking of Morrissey... there is, of course, a masterclass in self-pity from The Smiths that goes under the same title as this recent offering from Babybird - you know, it's the one where Moz declares "I wear black on the outside, black is how I feel on the inside". I'd have given my right arm for a T-shirt with that on the front when I was 15 (and it'd only have needed one sleeve).

Babybird's song isn't quite that tragic, but it is a fine example of the quality of work on Stephen Jones's 10th album, Ex-Maniac, released earlier this year. Plus the video was directed by Johnny Deep. Yes, that Johnny Depp.

4. Luxembourg - Single


"I wouldn't wish my life upon anyone else..." sings David Shah on this peerless ode to failing to bother the charts. "I can't spend another summer burning copies of my debut single in my bedroom," he continues, "I can't spend another Sunday crying on the sofa as another opportunity passes me by."

You can download the entire album free from their Last FM page. I'd highly recommend you do that. Now.

3. Nick Drake - Poor Boy

How did I get this far into an appreciation of supreme self-pity without any Nick Drake? Poor, poor Nick Drake - I'll weep for him forever.

2. Ben Folds / Nick Hornby - A Working Day

The opening track to the new Ben Folds / Nick Hornby collaboration. Seriously - Ben Folds and Nick Hornby made a record together. Ben on music and vocals, Nick on lyrics. Until Stephen King and Bruce Springsteen team up, or Morrissey and Douglas Coupland, this is my dream muso-author combo.

Some guy on the net thinks I suck and he should know
He's got his own blog!

I'm a loser
I'm a poser
Yeah really
It's over
I mean it and I quit
Everything I write is shit

Hey, hey
It's a working day
Hey, hey
It's a working day

Somehow it's reassuring to know that even Ben Folds and Nick Hornby have days like that.

1. Janis Ian - At Seventeen

A song I find almost too painful to listen to. And I'm a boy...

To those of us who knew the pain
Of valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me

Go on world - hurt each other, kill each other, do anything you want!

I just don't care any more.