I promise I'll get out of the coffee shop after this. I know you're all bored of these lists now. More interesting top tens to follow, I guarantee.
In the meantime... here's a countdown of my favourite sugary songs. As usual I've kept the list just to songs about sugar, so no room for The Sugarcubes, Sugar Ray or... Sugar.
Likewise, I've banned Brown Sugar by the Stones, purely because that was Number One on my Top Ten Brown Songs. Do I need to get out more or what?
10. Mary Lou Lord - Sugar Sugar
The old Archies Number One given a guitary makeover by Mary Lou Lord and Semisonic (apparently), with Drew Barrymore along for the ride.
9. Billy Bragg - Sugar Daddy
A Billy Bragg b-side. For those of you who appreciate the finer things in life.
8. The Stone Roses - Sugar Spun Sister
I like the Stone Roses.
I like Ian Brown.
But GOD, these lyrics were written by a 6th Form Poetry Student.
Her hair
Soft drifted snow
Death white
I'd like to know
Why she hates
All that she does
But she gives
It all that she's got
7. Neil Young - Sugar Mountain
You can't be twenty on Sugar Mountain.
But you can have ENORMOUS sideburns.
6. Aimee Mann - Sugarcoated
Aimee Mann writes biting lyrics... coated in sugar.
5. Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me
The 97th best band from Sheffield. And yet...
My favourite Def Leppard song is that one where they substitute the word 'rock' for the word 'fuck'. That's, like, so edgy, dude.
4. Flight Of The Conchords - Sugalumps
Kelis sang about her Milkshake...
Fergie sang about her Humps...
Flight Of The Conchords respond with an ode to their Sugalumps...
My sugarlumps are two of a kind - sweet and white and highly refined
Honies try all kinds of tomfoolery to steal a feel of my family jewelry
My cannonballs cause a kerfuffle - the ladies they hustle to ruffle my truffle
If you party with the Party Prince, you get two complimentary after-dinner mints
3. The Rubettes - Sugar Baby Love
Possibly the greatest pure glam-pop single ever written. Sing along if your voice goes high enougg.
2. Echo & The Bunnymen - Lips Like Sugar
I have nothing to declare about this song other than its genius.
1. The Four Tops - I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)
Better than any sugar rush.
They were mine - but what sugary song sets off your sweet tooth?
