(Click here for 20-11.)
OK, we're back with my Top Ten... and I'm sure it'll have you screaming at your computer screens. "WHAT - NO DRACULA 2001? ARE YOU AN IDIOT?" Etc. Etc.
10. Paranormal Activity
9. The Amityville Horror
I still remember watching this on TV late one night when I was a kid and not being able to sleep afterwards. For a long time. I became obsessed with the Amityville story and read the three novels and anything else I could find on it. Marketed as a true story, I still hate the idea that it was all a giant scam. I want to believe!
The movie doesn't have a great reputation among horror fans, but I think it stands up well, with excellent performances from James Brolin, Margot Kidder and (especially) Rod Steiger and a creepy score by Lalo Schifrin. The sequels are a waste of time and the remake misses the point, despite a half-decent cast... but then, it does suffer the stench of Michael Bay.
8. The Exorcist
Another movie that could have sunk under the weight of expectation once I was finally allowed to watch it, but thankfully didn't. A much better film than Texas Chainsaw Massacre, though not quite as shocking. Still, it's Mark Kermode's favourite flick, so it deserves its position here.
The sequels are drivel, particularly the recent, supremely dreary prequels.
Your mother cooks socks in hell.
7. The Descent
Crammed with twists, claustrophobic tension and genuine jumpy bits, Neil Marshall's best film delivers - as long as you're watching the original UK version. The "it was all a dream, happily ever after" ending grafted onto the US version was a kick in the horror-nads. And it led to the sequel, which was worse than pointless.
6. The Haunting
The movie that showed Paranormal Activity how frightening a few slamming doors could actually be, this is essential viewing for anyone who ever plans to direct a horror flick.
The Jan De Bont remake from the 90s is essential viewing for anyone who ever plans to ruin a horror flick. Truly ghastly.
5. Jaws
Part of me didn't want to include Jaws in this list, because part of me doesn't think of it as a horror film. Part of me thinks it's too good a movie to be considered horror. Which is snobbish and silly. Chief Brody rules.
I actually like Jaws 2. 3D and The Revenge are bobbins though. Were there any more? I'm sure they were offal too.
4. Halloween
Ah, John Carpenter. The man responsible for two of my top five horror flicks. The man who invented the handheld camera following you down the street routine. The man whose weird, self-composed synth music was more effective at delivering shivers than any big orchestral score. The man who created one of the truly great screen monsters... using a William Shatner mask.
Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Myers, Donald Pleasence... what's not to like?
I think I probably liked more of the Halloween sequels than any other horror franchise. H20 was particularly good. Rob Zombie's remake was bobbins though.
3. Psycho
Alfred Hitchcock. Anthony Perkins. Janet Leigh. Bernard Herrmann. Who's the bigger star of Psycho?
Actually, the thing that impresses me most about this film is the way it changes direction in such a startling manner midway through. I guess that's down to Robert Bloch, who wrote the original novel, and Joseph Stefano who did the screenplay.
She wouldn't even harm a fly.
I like the sequels purely for Perkins' hammy performance. The Vince Vaughan / Anne Heche shot-by-shot remake was an exercise in utter futility though.
2. The Shining
Which is better, Stephen King's novel... or the vastly different Kubrick movie? The author obviously believes the former, but as much of a King fan as I am, and as much as I can take or leave just about everything else Kubrick's ever committed to celluloid... the atmosphere of this film is unrivalled. Jack's just-the-right-side-of-mental performance, Shelly Duvall's wonderfully insipid support, the creepiest horror movie kid ever, the scene in room 237, Scatman Crothers' botched rescue attempt, all that snow and isolation, Delbert Grady and Lloyd the bartender... a horror movie I never grow tired of. Hoping to watch it again this weekend on the big screen.
Heeeeere's Johnny!
1. The Thing
For anyone wondering why there's no room for Alien in this list, the answer is simple - everything Alien can do, The Thing can do better. All the crimes against horror committed by John Carpenter in the latter half of his career matter not one whit. This movie is perfect, I won't hear a word said against it.
I have low, low hopes for the upcoming prequel.
This week's Thoughtballoons strip features my tribute to The Thing, starring its more Fantastic namesake. You can read it here.
