Movie Review: The Raid

All the critics loved Indonesian action movie The Raid. Listen to them bleat..."Remember your first time with Hard Boiled? Die Hard? This is how it's done - a clean, hard, constant hit of adrenalin." (Empire)"High octane excitement from start to finish." (5 Live)"You have never seen anything this AWESOME." (Twitch Film.)Even the normally reserved Peter Bradshaw at the Grauniad chimes in with..."The...

Top Ten Spaceman & Spacewoman Songs

We're still up in space... but before we visit any more planets, here's a few songs about the men and women who might be making the journey alongside us.10. Babylon Zoo - SpacemanIf you remember the 30 second jeans ad that made this song a hit, you might remember being rather confused on hearing the full-length version. The rest of the song sounds very different to the bit everybody knows. Watching...

In Which I Dream Of Balls

Last night, I dreamt my mum told me that radio and TV presenter Zoe Ball was 80 years old. "Don't be silly," I replied, but she insisted. She'd heard it on the radio so it must be true. "But, Mum," I told her, "Zoe Ball's married to Fatboy Slim. He was a teenager when he was in the Housemartins - so he's probably just a few years older than me. Why would he be married to an 80 year old woman?""What's...

Comic Review: The Almighties #1

My old mate Sam Johnson has recently premiered his new comic The Almighties, a timely, action-packed spoof of a certain other A-rated superteam doing the rounds at the moment. Here's Sam to tell you a little more...Just in time for THAT movie - Almighties Amass!Nick Fury is currently assembling Earth’s Mightiest Heroes in the Avengers movie – but what if a more questionable character put together...

Oh My God - They Killed House!

You bastards!(Spoilers ahead, obviously.)I actually thought they'd done it too. Last episodes are always tricky things to get right. There are certain fundamental elements the audience wants, expects, demands. And top of that list is a happy ending. We've lived with these characters, followed their adventures... laughed, cried, got angry and shared every other emotion with them... for eight whole...

Top Ten Venus Songs

Hey, I never said my journey into outer space was going to take me in a straight line. From Mars, we slingshot back round Earth to our other nearest neighbour, the one a little closer to the sun. Things are hotting up, although the Venus we'll be hearing about through most of this list is a hot, heavenly goddess rather than a big blue rock surrounded by carbon dioxide and sulphuric acid...10. Low...

Movie Review - The Dictator

On exiting Sacha Baron Cohen's The Dictator, I decided to play a little Generation Game memory test, recalling as many of the broken taboos that had trundled past me during the previous hour and a half on this Conveyor Belt of Wrong...TerrorismMurderRapeSuicide BombingTortureChildbirthRacismSexismCapitalismCommunismLiberalismFeminismHomophobiaDisabilityMasturbationBlow JobsDefecationUrinationNuclear...

Book Review: Supergods - Our World In The Age Of The Superhero by Grant Morrison

Over the 30+ years I've been reading comics, Grant Morrison has written some of my all-time favourites. Animal Man, Doom Patrol, The Invisibles, Arkham Asylum, All Star Superman... books I'd hold up among the best the medium has to offer. He's also written a fair few books I just didn't get, a smattering that disappeared (albeit with sporadic enjoyment) up their own backsides, and some that left me...

Top Ten Mars Songs

Our next stop on my musical journey into space is Earth's closest neighbour, the red planet. Watch out for little green men... and the God of War.10. The Boss Martians featuring Iggy Pop - Mars Is For Martians'Nuff said.9. Grinderman - Honey Bee (Let's Fly To Mars)So that's what happened to all the bees - Nick Cave took 'em to Mars! One of the less obscene Grinderman records.8. The Flaming Lips -...

Apocalypse Girl

My movie-making pals over at Special Order 937 have completed their masterpiece, Apocalypse Girl - a 10 minute shot of dark, druggy, nihilistic depravity that's definitely NSFW or those with weak stomachs / easily offended moralities. Have no fear, Apocalypse Girl is here... god help us all....

Everyone Loves A Nice Crisp Biscuit...

My old pal and comic collaborator Rob Wells has recently put out another excellent collection of humour strips from his Crisp Biscuit Blog. Included in this issue...The Green C**k Ring's Final Crisis! The True Story of Christmas!The return of Jack Bowser in Twenty-Bore!Whatever Happened To The TV Stars of Our Youth?Halloween at Rob's house.Michael J. Fox IS Stuart Little.And some X-Factor spoofs I...

Not Every Book I Read Deserves A Review

Here's a few I just couldn't be bothered to write about in depth... or even get all the way through. Life is too short.Child 44 was a gripping classic.The Secret Speech was a disappointing, though still entertaining, sequel.It's a good job Agent 6 was the final book in the series because I wouldn't have bought any more. I skim-read this one and still found it over-written, rambling and self-indulgent....

Top Ten Man On The Moon Songs

OK, let's get back into space after last week's unrelated diversion... and where's the first stop on our journey?There are far too many songs about the big blue cheese button to narrow down a Top Ten Moon Songs... so instead, here's 10 solely about taking a trip there. 10. Radiohead - Sail to the Moon (Brush the Cobwebs Out of the Sky.)See, I might consider that bracketed subtitle pretentious......

Movie Review - The Avengers

How much more I enjoyed watching The Avengers in 2D rather than through the mud and blur and migraine of threedy. I felt like a partially sighted man suddenly given the gift of 20/20 vision. "Look at how beautiful it all is!" I cried at the cinema screen. "The colours so bright and vivid, the action distinctive, the background detail actually visible... I can see - I CAN SEE!" In truth, The Avengers...

Where I'm At

It's been a busy week here at SOS towers, so apart from the keeping-the-wolf-from-the-door opportunism of my previous post (apologies to those of you wondering why I broke off my musical journey into space for an entirely unrelated Top Ten... but I had to find some way to afford the Amazing Spider-Man Omnibus Volume 2) things have been rather quiet on the blogging front. That's not to say I've not...

Top Ten Casino Songs

I'm taking a brief rest from our journey into musical space to celebrate ten songs about cashing in at the casino. Let the chips fall where they may...My Top Ten Casino Songs10. The Gore Gore Girls - CasinoStraight out of Detroit, the Gore Gore Girls rocked their local casino like no one else. Every one was a winner.9. Thea Gilmore - This Girl Is Taking BetsThea has gambling on her mind, and lyrics that can’t ever lose. Take a listen to this song...