Kill Shakespeare

You might imagine that on a Venn diagram illustrating people who read comics and people who enjoy Shakespeare, the area of intersection would be slight. You would, of course, be mistaken. After all, many comic fans grew up on the high-falutin' prose of Stan Lee, who modelled the dialogue of characters like Thor on a cod American take-off of the Stratford bard.

Then in the late 80s, a new breed of comic was spawned by Neil Gaiman's Sandman which stole themes and even characters from all kinds of classic literature and used them to a variety of ends, some dazzling, others less so. (Don't start me.) Arguably Sandman created a whole new audience for comics - not just goths, but "serious" readers. Other books soon followed suit, notably Bill Willingham's Fables which brought us dark, adult interpretations of classic fairy tale characters, and recently Mike Carey's The Unwritten, which involves the creator of a fictional Harry Potter-esque hero and the son he may have based that character upon.

All of which brings us to Kill Shakespeare, a comic with such an inspired high concept pitch, you can't believe no one's done it before. The Bard's greatest creations - including Hamlet, Juliet, Othello, Richard III and Lady Macbeth - are pitched against each other in a thrilling quest to locate a legendary wizard with a magic quill. Whosoever possesses that quill will have power over all their domain. The wizard they seek? William Shakespeare.

With such excellent characters at their disposal, writers Anthony Del Col and Conor McCreery are obviously going to have a blast. When Macbeth's witches prophesy that a "shadow king" will be the one to take Shakey down, Richard III hires Iago to befriend the reluctant prince Hamlet and steer him towards his destiny. The resistance, meanwhile, led by Juliet and Othello, believe the godlike Shakespeare will be the one to finally free them from Richard's tyranny... but they too are counting on Hamlet's help. Hamlet, of course, is fiction's greatest ditherer, and also, quite possibly, two odds short of a bodkin, considering all the wild hallucinations he keeps having. Add to this Lady MacBeth, whose passionate seduction of Richard gave me slight cause for concern (since "if he cannot prove a lover, he's determined to prove a villain") until I realised her scheming extends much further than just Richard's bedchamber.

Kill Shakespeare is packed with bloodthirsty battles, dark magic, bawdy comedy, brutal betrayal, lust, sex and murder... just like the very best of the bard. The nod to Tarantino in the title is appropriate, but this is much less self-consciously cool than anything from the Geek King himself. The dialogue, though faithful to its source material and packed with sly references, doesn't try too hard to meet its maker. Andy Belanger's art strikes the perfect balance between cartoon and realism, ably handling detailed, multi-panel pages and chunky tracts of text, while colourist Ian Herring uses the full pallet - something that's often reserved solely for superhero adventures in comic book land, while books of this kind often restrict themselves to pastels or shades. It's a knowing move which demonstrates what all the creators understand well - not only was Stan Lee the 20th Century Will Shakespeare... but Shakespeare was, in his own hyperbolic, crowd-pleasing way, the Stan Lee of his day.

Volume 1 of Kill Shakespeare (collecting the first six issues) is available to buy now, and I'd recommend it to comic fans and literary types alike. If you do exist in the aforementioned Venn intersection, it's an absolute must.

Looking for more comic reviews? Check out Comics On The Ration, the new(ish) blog for comic fans feeding their addiction on a budget from Rob Wells and Paul Rainey, featuring occasional contributions by Steve Miller and myself. (I'll be reviewing Rick Remender's Punisher there shortly.) Add it to your blog list!

SHAOLIN (2011)

MyRating: YYYY1/2

Director: Benny Chan

Cast: Andy Lau, Nicholas Tse, Jackie Chan, Fan Bingbing, Wu Jing, Xing Yu, Yu Shaoqun, Xiong Xin Xin, Yue Hoi

There are at least two things that make this movie special and well worth to wait. First, this movie was said to be the updated version of the 1982 The Shaolin Temple, that launched the career of Jet Li in his debut cinematic role. Second, the involvement of two Hong Kong megastars, Andy Lau and Jackie Chan, in their collaboration together in the silver screen after 17 years. Their last movie together was in The Legend of Drunken Master (1994), where Andy Lau appeared as cameo and Jackie Chan reprised one of his most legendary roles as Wong Fei-hung, the same role that also shot Jet Li to stardom in Once Upon A Time in China (1991).

This new Shaolin was directed by Benny Chan, a director who has collaborated so many times with Jackie Chan, Who Am I? (1998), New Police Story (2004) and Rob-B-Hood (2006). This movie is actually not a remake from the old version, as it took a totally new characters, new background story, new plots, and new settings of the Shaolin temple. The story was set in the era after the fall of the Qing dynasty, when China was torn apart by the feuding warlords, battling each other to gain power and territory over the lands. At the same time, the country was also threatened by the Western powers who try to take benefits on top of the chaos and dissension in China.

One of the warlords is Hou Jie (Andy Lau), an arrogant, ruthless and power-thirsted General, who have enjoyed lots of success in the battlefields. He has no mercy for the enemies and nor afraid of the heaven, as he chases and beats his enemy up to the Shaolin temple, challenging the monks and humiliating the sacred temple. He also treats his closest ally as an incoming danger. His fear also makes him plan to wipe his ally out, as he has his famous saying, "Before I see them dead, then I cannot sleep well at night." But everything has its karma. And it comes to Hou when he is being betrayed by his trusted protege, who leads him and his family into a tragic fall.

Unexpectedly, which no man can plan, Hou is forced to take refuge into the Shaolin temple, where he meets Wudao (Jackie Chan), the Shaolin cook monk, who provides him with food, a place to stay, and teaches him about the meaning and harmony of life. And there, Hou's hatred and uneasy heart slowly begins to melt, as he learns about peace and forgiveness, that finally makes him want to become a part of the temple himself. But outside, his betrayer, who now becomes an even more ruthless and evil warlord, will never stop and sleep well before seeing Hou dead, and he plans to ambush the Shaolin temple and wipe them all, once and for all. So, Hou and the monks have to stand up and fight, not only to protect the dignity and existence of the temple, but also for the sake of humanity and righteousness.

This is a very good revisited and fresh retelling of a Shaolin Temple story, with a big budgeted production of around US$ 29 Million, including building a new set of Shaolin temple in Zhejiang Province costing 10 million yuan (around US$ 1.47 million), in order not to damage the real temple. This movie also involved many special effects, especially in the scene when they destroyed the temple. Even though I have to say that the special effects looked rough and the set of the Shaolin temple itself looked a bit bleak, low profile, and smaller than what I have in mind (except when we see the overall temple in the bird-eye-view when it was being destroyed), in overall this movie gave the right vibe as a Shaolin movie, and it did look grand. And what made this movie stand out was the splendid cast, excellent performances, enjoyable and thoughtful story, and the great Shaolin martial arts showcase, with action sequences directed by the experienced Corey Yuen. This movie was not all about actions though, but also brought a gripping and moving drama with a lot of heart, that captured the spirit of humanity and Buddhism. As the director, Benny Chan did a great job in making this one a first class movie.

Andy Lau gave a terrific performance as General Hou Jie, who has to go through a phase of life that transforms him from a cruel warlord with a heart full of anger and hostility, to a repentant monk who has to learn humbleness and forget about his past. This seasoned actor, who is also my favorite Hong Kong actor, was a perfect choice for the role. Despite of not having the real martial arts capability, not like Jackie Chan or Jet Li, his charisma and impressive dramatic performance here, with lots of emotions, was just flooded the screen. Lau is known as a professional and perfectionist actor. In this movie, he really shaved his head to become bald in one scene, despite actually the makeup artists could fake his head with cosmetics. He just wanted the film to look real and authentic. Lau is also a box office guarantee (in the past, his name was there with the other four big names, Jackie Chan, Chow Yun-Fat, Jet Li and Steven Chow, who used to draw big bucks in Hong Kong and other Asian markets). Unarguably as one of the greatest entertainers Hong Kong ever has, he is also one of the Hong Kong's Four Heavenly Kings (the other three are Jacky Cheung, Leon Lai and Aaron Kwok), which title was crowned to them in the earlier 1990's due to their superstar status as the most popular cantopop singers at that time. In real person, Lau is a humble guy, very good with people, extremely hard worker, and has a heart of charity. And as years go by, he is just getting better and better in all what he does. Needless to say, he is already the living legend in the industry now.

As the supporting actor who shared lesser screen time, Jackie Chan gave a comedic and comical performance as the cook monk, who doesn't like to fight, but when he is forced to, the way he fights is like the way he cooks. His appearance was fun to watch, as his character, with his strange accent, was a smile teaser, which just fitted well with Chan's happy and easygoing personality. Loved his interaction with Andy Lau, which contributed some good moments in the movie. Nicholas Tse also gave a pretty nice performance to match his seniors, as the cunning Cao Man, Hou Jie's right-hand man, whose villainous traits and face will definitely make audiences detest him. While the beautiful Fan Bingbing sweetened the screen as Hou Jie's wife. Another interesting appearances were Wu Jing, Xing Yu and Yu Shaoqun as the three 'big-brother' disciples of the Shaolin temple, and Xiong Xin Xin as Cao Man's fierce henchman. As soon as these guys fight, it was a delight to watch.

This is a hugely entertaining Shaolin movie that we have not seen for a very long time, with well choreographed martial arts and fighting sequences. The movie was also a reflective and introspective one, as shown in the ending. Well, the ending may not satisfy all audiences. It was not exactly a perfect ending, but in overall, this is a great Shaolin Temple movie. Many real Shaolin kid monks, who took parts in this movie, also shared their joys, as well as their fists and kicks in some fun fighting scenes. Shooting together with these two big stars, who are known to be always kind with their film crews and other casts, must be a delightful for these little monks, as they felt sad and crying when they realized that the shooting was over, and they have to say goodbyes to Andy Lau and Jackie Chan. In one article that I read, Andy Lau even have to comfort them and said, "Don't cry! Don't cry! We will meet again! I will buy you all tickets to come to Hong Kong to see my concert, okay? We can meet again there!" What a nice guy. And I somehow believe I will see these little monks sitting in the front row in his next concert, or even take parts by performing in the stage. It will surely be the best and unforgettable moments in their lives. Who won't? I know I will. (MJ)

THEME SONG: (Vocal & Lyrics by ANDY LAU)
- SHAOLIN SOUNDTRACK (Short Version)
- SHAOLIN SOUNDTRACK (Long Version)
(To not quit this blog, select with "Right Hand Click")

Friday Flash - Hairshirt In Reverse

Some days, you eat the bear. And some days, well, the bear, he eats you.

This has been one of those weeks where the bear wore a bib. A blocked week. I left my Thoughtballoons strip to the very last minute, and paid for it in the comments. And as for Friday Flash, inspiration failed to strike.

Rather than force it, or leave you without my weekend sermon, here's another old Elephant Words story, dusted off from 2007. Enjoy... and if you can't enjoy, endure. For me...

(Image by Austin Andrews.)



Hairshirt In Reverse



Have you seen my shirt?

“Which shirt?”

You know perfectly well which shirt. Which mean you must also know where it is. Must in fact be responsible for where it is. Something else you know: how much that shirt means to me. It used to mean something to you too.

1995. Like a million other sixteen year-olds before me, suddenly I’ve got this hard-on for individuality. I don’t want to listen to the same music as everybody else, or read the same books. I certainly don’t want to wear the same clothes. There was this odd little second hand shop in the back of the Corn Exchange. I was in there every Saturday, spending the peanuts I made stacking shelves Friday nights in Asda. Most of the time, I was their only customer.

Antique cuckoo clocks. Dusty old Serge Gainsbourg records. Coffee mugs with women on the side who lost their clothes when you filled them with liquid. (There’s a joke there somewhere, but I’m not in the mood.) Authentic Japanese Godzilla posters. In the window: a vintage 48 key concertina, a working Hornby 00 Gauge train set, and a French policeman’s hat like the one Claude Rains wore in Casablanca. A tag claimed it was the exact same hat. I never believed it.

Of course I remember the day I bought the shirt. It was the afternoon prior to our fourth date. Our third, three nights earlier, ended later than we expected. Just me and you and the swallows, we had Marigold Park all to ourselves. If the rain hadn’t stopped us, that could have been our night. We ran home laughing. I could see your parents in the front room watching telly, trying not to glance out into the street. You made such a big deal about kissing me goodnight. I knew it was for their benefit. I’ll say this for you, though: you knew how to keep a bloke interested. Do you remember what you said to me that night?

“Fuck, Porter – you’re going to get so lucky this weekend.”

It was the first time I'd ever experienced spontaneous human combustion. Good job it was raining. I walked home in another dimension. The shirt I had on got soaked, ruined. I couldn’t wear it two dates running anyway. I needed something new. Special. I worked overtime Friday, on the frozen food. My fingers lost all sensation by the end of the shift.

The thing is, there wasn’t anything special about that shirt. Not to look at it. Just a plain white thing with short sleeves and no collar. It wasn’t what I was looking for. I can’t tell you why I bought it. When I held it to my chest in the mirror... it just felt right.

Saturday came and your parents were up in the Lakes. You made fresh avocado salad, and we split a Bounty while listening to Nick Drake. It was the first really hot day of the summer, and after tea we walked up through the cornfields behind your house, looking for a place to set down our blanket. I started to take off my shirt, but you put your hand on my chest and told me not to.

“Keep it on.”

The thing is, your first time’s supposed to be all weird and hesitant and bungling… I don’t know about you, but that’s what I expected. When it wasn’t, when it… I mean, where do you go from perfection? Afterwards, you flicked a greenfly off my collar and told me you loved me. I reckon astronauts could see me from space that night.

When I got home, I hung the shirt on the curtain rail to catch the breeze from my bedroom window. I was worried Mum might smell us on it when she threw it in the wash. Except, by morning, I’d made up my mind. That shirt wasn’t ever going in the wash. I know you don’t believe in such things, but sometimes I think that’s where the magic came from. The magic that kept us together.

I took the plastic bag off one of my dad’s suits, just back from the dry cleaners, and rolled it over the shirt. I had this crazy romantic notion I’d get it out again in fifty years and wear it for our golden anniversary, but I needed it sooner than that. After we tried and failed to get into the same university... I had to take something of you with me to Bath. You hear about all those couples who split up while they’re away at college, I didn’t want that to be us. So whenever I got lonely, whenever some crazy girl turned my head with a look or a laugh or a keen knowledge of Chomsky… I’d go back to my room and unwrap that shirt, put on some Nick Drake, and remember.

And yeah, if we’re being brutally honest now, the times we did meet up… weekends, holidays, after you fought with Laura and almost dropped out… they were good, they were great, but they weren’t always quite as good as I imagined they'd be. But I told myself that once we were together again full time, things would be different. Better, I mean, better even than that night in the cornfield. But maybe I was kidding myself. Because we’ve been living here – what, twelve years now, and all we do is argue over who gets to open the new jar of coffee and take the first sniff, how it drives me insane that you have to screw up your shopping list and start again just because you’ve spelled ‘quiche’ wrong, and... I mean, god help me if you buy one more pair of culottes…

But no, I don’t want us to split up, and do you want to know why? Because whenever I put on that shirt (and OK, yeah, it smells a bit now—

“It stinks.”

–and there are stains I don’t even want to think about), I know I couldn’t ever meet anyone who’d make me feel half the way you did that on legendary evening in June, ‘95. So please, I’m going to ask you one more time – and don’t lie to me, Clare, because I’ll know if do. Please…

What? Have you done? With my shirt?

The King's Speech

For those of you who think I only go to the cinema to see dreadful, shlocky tat like Season The Witch... it's not true. I do go see decent, critically acclaimed and Oscar-nominated "worthy" pics too. They're much harder to review.

Take The King's Speech. It really is as good as you've heard. Colin Firth gives a tender, moving performance as the stuttering royal; Geoffrey Rush doesn't overplay the comedic gift he's been given; Helena Bonham Carter manages to make the old Queen Mum both fun and feisty... you can easily imagine this woman growing into the hard-drinking, hard-gambling Spitting Image caricature of the 80s. I struggled beforehand to accept Guy Pearce as Firth's older brother, not only because he's 7 years younger but also because I always think of him as Mike in Neighbours, leather jacket and teenage scowl, riding off on his motorbike in a huff. But even that was forgotten once Pearce stepped into the screen, a ringer for our infamous abdicating monarch.

This film succeeds in all areas... it even makes me like the royal family. Well, the one from 70 years ago. I've nothing to say beyond the accolades...

Top Ten Spell Songs

After last week's Witches, I thought about following on with a Top Ten Wizards but found just seven in my library (not counting Roy Wood) and only The Who was a classic.

But I'm not done with the occult just yet... so here's my Top Ten Spell Songs, which ties in quite nicely with this week's Thoughtballoons character, Dr. Strange, Master of the Mystic Arts. If you're so inclined, you can read my one page script here.

10. Focus - Hocus Pocus

Where rampant guitar riffs meet crazy Dutch yodelling.

I know but two things about Focus...

1) They're one of Stuart Maconie's favourite bands.

2) They're featured, to amusing effect, in the classic Half Man Half Biscuit story song, Tour Jacket With Detatchable Sleeves...

After the Identical Cocteau Twins, came the final act, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Focus. Following a commendable stab at Sylvia, Helen shouted to the guitarist: “Are you knackered, man?” To which he replied: “No, I’m Jan Akkerman”.

9. Siouxsie & The Banshees - Spellbound

In which Siouxsie Sioux suffers for her art, crawling around on a men's room floor like she's re-enacting that infamous scene from Trainspotting, before things go really mental like Toy Story meets the Texas Chasinsaw Massacre...

"When you think your toys have gone berserk..."

...they're probably just listening to too many Banshees records.

8. Gogol Bordello - Break The Spell

If Start Wearing Purple is the only Gogol Bordello song you've ever heard, here's another tasty slice of Russian gypsy mayhem for your earbuds.

7. Amber Benson - Under Your Spell

From the infamous Buffy & The Vampire Slayer musical episode - you know the one where they wouldn't let Alyson Hannigan sing because despite being too cute to live, she's also got a singing voice like Miss Piggy in a 'Yodel Like Jan Akkerman' Competition?

I still don't know whether Amber Benson's character was called Tara or Tera.

6. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Spell

Cave at his most yearningly romantic. Hard to believe this is the same guy who gave us Grinderman.

5. Lambchop - I Can Hardly Spell My Name

OK, I know, strictly speaking the definition of 'spell' here is an entirely different one to every other song on this list (one derives from the Germanic, the other from Old English - see, I'm not entirely allergic to research), but it's still a beautiful record, while Kurt Wagner's lyrics are just cryptic enough to make it an invocation of sorts.

4. Aqualung - Strange & Beautiful (I'll Put A Spell On You)

A prime slab of Coldplayesque whimsy from the summer of 2002 when this song was everywhere thanks to its use in a VW ad campaign. Songwriter Matt Hales has made far more interesting records since, but this appears to be the one he'll be remembered for.

3. Screaming Jay Hawkins - I Put A Spell On You

A unique - and at the time, shocking - performance which was achieved by getting everybody in the studio so fired up on liquor and spicy chicken wings that Screaming Jay doesn't even remember recording it. Covered by everyone from Bryan Ferry to Nina Simone, Jimmy Barnes to the Eels... but none of them are quite as scary as the original.

2. Billy Bragg - She's Got A New Spell

One minute she says
She's gone to get the cat in
The next thing I know
She's mumbling in Latin

Billy looks about 12 in this video. It's really quite depressing.

1. Steve Miller Band - Abracadrabra

The word "abracadabra" comes from Aramaic and means "to create... as I say".

Not to be confused with DC Comics' mad magician Abra Kadabra...

Steve Miller (no, not that one) allegedly wrote this song after meeting Diana Ross.

This was the band's last big hit, not counting the UK jeans ad Joker revival in the 90s.



So, shazam, alakazam, hey presto... who did I dispell?

The Redeemer

Seeking for an author to fill the Steig Larsson-shaped hole in my library, on the shelf marked "grim, yet gripping, Northern European detective thrillers", I happened upon Norwegian author Jo Nesbo, whose latest novel The Snowman is being helpfully touted as "the new Larsson". Before I got to that though, someone recommended I first read Nesbo's earlier book starring policeman Harry Hole, The Redeemer. As it turns out, if I wanted to be a completist I should have gone back even further and started with Hole's earlier adventures The Redbreast and The Devil's Star (plot elements from which are referenced here) but fortunately it's quite possible to read any of Nesbo's novels as a self-contained mystery (something that isn't really true of the second and certainly the third Lisbeth Salander books).

The Redeemer is a Serbian contract killer hired to murder a prominent member of Salvation Army in Oslo... who ends up shooting the wrong man. Despite the fact that the police are closing in, the Redeemer is determined to put right his mistake... but who hired him in the first place? Harry Hole's investigation is hampered by a new boss, unreliable witnesses, unexpected tragedy... and the fact that the killer has a rare condition known as hyperelasticity that renders him virtually unrecognisable - he's an actual rubber faced criminal. (Talk about stretching credibility!)

Although a far more traditional thriller writer than Larsson, Nesbo succeeds in many areas where Larsson showed weakness, particularly the action sequences. This novel has a movie script sense of visual excitement that was missing from the Dragon Tattoo books, and it's here that Nesbo scores. On the other hand, his characters aren't anywhere near as compelling as Larsson's and there isn't his fascinatingly anal attention to detail or skill at making everyday mundane routine so gripping. It's wrong to compare the two writers - hell, they're not even the same nationality. But shorthand comparisons shift books, and I'm sure Nesbo isn't complaining about "the Larsson effect".

The Redeemer is an exciting and unpredictable thriller - I'm looking forward to reading more Harry Hole adventures soon.

Justin Time

Twice now I've had tickets to see former Del Amitri frontman Justin Currie playing live in his new solo incarnation. Twice, despite the fact that he's written some of my favourite misanthropic songs of the last twenty years, I've had to give those tickets away... once because I'd just broken my arm, once because my back was so bad I couldn't stand up. (Back update - I still can't stand up for long, but using a combination of seated or partly-seated venues or painkillers/heated wraps, I'm not letting it spoil my appreciation of live music too much.)

Saturday night it was third time lucky, in my new favourite venue (and not just because it's a five minute drive over the hill), the Holmfirth Picturedrome. The last time I saw Currie live was back in 1998 when he was just a Drunk In A Band. The general consensus by all who attended that evening is that it's one of the most memorable gigs of our life. True, a certain amount of alcohol was consumed (those were the days, eh?), we were wild, we were free, we were still in our 20s... and Del Amitri looked like they'd last forever. And so would we.

In the cold light of 2011 then, when we're all starting to feel our age, there's no more Whiskey Remorse to be had (not for me, anyway), and JC's binned the band as part of "the new austerity"... how would the solo act compare with the hellraising days of old?

Well, it won't. They're two entirely different beasts. But while Wednesday October 28th, 1998, was exactly what a 26 year-old semi-alcoholic hedonist needed to blow his mind... Saturday January 22nd 2011 was much more in-keeping with the wants and needs of an occasionally morose teetotal 38 year-old. I don't care about getting old, as long as my favourite artists come with me.

The first time I heard the song below was in the early days of 1990. I was 18, hadn't yet touched a drop, and still believed my future involved spinning records and talking in between them for a living. How wrong can you be? Sitting there in the last free seat on the Picturedrome balcony, I wondered where I'd be in another ten of these increasingly fleeting years? As long as Justin Currie's still singing, it won't be too bad...

THE AMERICAN (2010)

MyRating: YYYYY

Director: Anton Corbijn
Cast: George Clooney, Violante Placido, Thekla Reuten, Paolo Bonacelli, Johan Leysen
MPAA: Rated R for violence, sexual content and nudity
US Gross: US$ 35.6 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 65.5 Million

A fine thriller-drama adapted from the 1990 novel A Very Private Gentleman by Martin Booth. Jack (George Clooney) is an assassin and a master craftsman, who specializes in custom arms maker. A man of his profession, Jack is a lonely guy, who is not able to build a lasting relationship, since once his true identity is endangered to be revealed, that is the time he may be forced to kill his acquaintance.

When a job in Sweden ends up in an ambush that nearly kills him, Jack flees to Rome and contacts an associate named Pavel (Johan Leysen), who sends him to Castelvecchio, a small town in the mountains of Abruzzo. There, he receives his next assignment to build a custom-designed sniper rifle for a Belgian woman named Mathilde (Thekla Reuten) to be used for an assassination. At the same time, poses as a photographer, Jack finds an unexpected friendship with a local priest, Father Benedetto (Paolo Bonacelli), a man who he can talk to. He also seeks comfort from a local prostitute named Clara (Violante Placido). But as his one-night-stand with the woman continues into a romantic relationship that slowly binds his heart, Jack knows that this may be his time to get out from his profession. But, it may be easier for a sinner to repent his sin than for an assassin to turn back road, because his world just will not let him go.

This is a movie that may not be for everyone, based on the fact that people who have watched it, will either love it, or hate it. But, I really could not find one single reason to not like this movie. Indeed, this is a movie that I will say, without any doubt, a great one. Not only I enjoyed it, but also I loved every bit of the film, and below are the reasons why I love this movie.

Superb storytelling and direction. This movie did take its time to build the story. No rush, but it was very well crafted with a very good and interesting storyline and plots, that hooked me from the beginning and gripped me till the end. This is not your usual Hollywood's action movies with lots of over-the-top actions, chasing and fight scenes, that sometimes barely give you time to breath and think. In fact, this movie has many silent and reflective moments, showing Mr. Clooney alone in the quiet and laid-back town. The suspense was slowly built, piece by piece carefully, brought you to the final peak result. And when it came to actions, they were being done effectively, that the portion was just enough to support the story. Yet, I still felt this movie was suspenseful in its own way. And all these were being executed nicely by the director Anton Corbijn, who made the movie to become very classy and meaningful.

Great character development and performances. George Clooney is a very fine actor, it is always fun to see him act. And this movie showed another great performance of him. He captured the soul of Jack very well, the lonely assassin, calm but cautious, who disregard his cold-blooded demeanor when killing people, he still has a human heart inside. It was very interesting to see how his character developed throughout the movie, including the struggling inside him when he has to make an important decision, that will determine his survival, whether he should follow the right things that his mind told him to do, or his heart. The relationship between Jack and Clara was also interesting to watch. A lovable prostitute who can shake his heart and make him think that it may be his time to end his long and tiring journey. Violante Placido, the beautiful Italian actress and singer, appeared very sexy here as Clara. This movie was surely not lack of beautiful women, the same with the tradition of those of the James Bond movies.

Beautiful cinematography and location. Another thing that left a deep feeling for me is the beautiful and exotic scenery of the Italian countryside where this movie took place. The quiet town also set the precise tone of the movie. And the mixture of this beauty, exoticness and silence, has made this movie to become so refreshing, at the same time gave me a solitude feeling. That is the time when we can feel what the character feels, and sense what the character senses.

This movie is turned out to be one of my most favorite movies of 2010. Wonderful, smart and entertaining. Loved it the first time I saw it, and that's usually a lasting impression. This is the time when you have to say, "If it's good, then it's good. If it's bad, then it's bad." And the difference is sometimes because of the different taste. That simple. Even though, actually I still couldn't quite understand why people hated it, because for me, this is a great movie. (MJ)

SIGN MY GUEST BOOK

Dear My Value Readers,

It has always been a pleasure for me to know if someone visited my blog and read my reviews.

Even if you just came by to take a peek, but knowing that will give such joy in my heart as the writer.

Anyway, what is more important for a writer than to know that his/her writings are being read? And what is the meaning of a blog without readers?

I really want to know what you think about this blog and I hope you don't mind to spend some time to write something in my Guest Book.

If you like this blog, kindly give your recommendation in the 'comments' box below.

With thanks,

MJ (MyMovie Critic)

Bradford On Sea

It's now more than six years since they destroyed Bradford, the city in which I work. I originally reported on the demolition back in 2007. (I didn't have a blog in 2004 when it actually began.) They knocked down a large part of the city centre - right outside our office window - in preparation for an exciting new shopping and leisure palace of wonderment... which never actually materialised.

A year later, it looked like things were moving again. The workmen returned, cleared away all the rubble, and began digging a huge crater for the development's foundations... and then, everything ground to a halt once more.

The public blamed the council, the council blamed the developers, the developers blamed the recession. Lee Harvey Oswald was spotted having his lunch on the third floor of a nearby book depository... you can guess the rest.

It doesn't matter who's to blame. It doesn't change the fact that we stare out of our office into a big hole in the ground that used to be Bradford. In an effort to placate the angry mob, the council turned a section of the site (sadly the section furthest away and not in any way visible from our window) into an "urban garden". They allegedly spent £300,000 on a fence, some tarmac and the planting of some scrubby grass... which promptly flooded because they'd forgotten to include any drains. The urban garden became an urban swimming pool and is now closed for extensive drainage work (rumoured to be costing an extra £30,000).

But the flooding isn't confined to the garden of earthly delights... as the images below reveal. The crater itself is also filling up with water. It's becoming a lake. So much so that seagulls have started living there, riding the waves that regularly lap up against the rusting steel of the fabled development's foundations. Sometimes geese try to land in the lake and the seagulls fight them off. At times it's like working next to a harbour. One day, we fully expect to look out and see a huge cruise liner docking. Maybe somebody swinging a champagne bottle on a bit of string. Sailors on leave propositioning prostitutes. You know the sort of thing.

But in case you're worried I might float away and never be seen again, fear not... last week, two blokes in Donkey Jackets and a van that said "Dewatering Experts" on the side (you couldn't make this up) were sent in to sort it all out. They walked about a bit, tapped a few pipes, talked on their phones... then buggered off. Still, it's good to know we're in such safe hands. You don't get that kind of service anywhere else... only in Bradford.

Top Ten Witch Songs

Following on from last week's Top Ten Bitch Songs by changing just one letter in my search engine (yes, I'm that lazy) - and also in celebration of the unholy mockery that was Season Of The Witch - here are ten songs filled with hubble, bubble, toil and trouble...

10. Jeff Buckley - Witches Rave

Everyone knows the story. Jeff Buckley made one classic album, Grace, then floated away down the Mississippi River before he ever got chance to complete its follow up, My Sweetheart The Drunk. His record company, doing what record companies do best at times like this, released the unfinished sessions as a double album of incomplete "sketches". They're nowhere near as compelling as anything on Grace, but who knows - maybe they would have been.

Whoever uploaded this to youtube decided to link it to scenes from the movie Unfaithful, so you get to watch Diane Lane get it on with Olivier Martinez while you listen to Jeff's song. This may prove too much of a distraction...

9. Get Well Soon - Witches! Witches! Rest Now In Fire

Gloomy German arthouse types give great title... but slightly less memorable song.

8. Everclear - The Good Witch Of The North

An Everclear track that begins with a shag and ends with a promise. The titular witch is obviously his girlfriend... would you marry this man?

7. Eagles - Witchy Woman

A song written by Don Henley in a delirious fever dream, the witch in question apparently being F. Scott Fitzgerald's wife Zelda, "the first American flapper". (Yes, I said 'flapper'. You just read it as 'slapper'.)

6. Hefner - The Sad Witch

Her atheist tracts are certainly persuading.

...is one of those lyrics that always brings an unnecessary smile to my face. The question is, if we threw Hefner in a lake with bricks tied round their ankles, would they float or would they drown?

(No indie-folk weirdoes were hurt during the preparation of this Top Ten.)

5. Eels - Teenage Witch

Speaking of which...

If being a witch isn't bad enough, E imagines it must be even worse being a teenager as well!

Heaven can't help a teenage witch
From sinking deeper down into the ditch

4. Bloc Party - Hunting For Witches

The witchhunt here is the media-fuelled hysteria created after 9/11 and the subsequent terrorist attacks on the London Underground. Those wacky, fun-lovin' Bloc Party lads.

3. Edwyn Collins - The Witch Queen Of New Orleans

Originally recorded by Redbone in the 70s, there's just something about the Edwyn Collins version that tips it over the edge. Great strings, and Collins' voice has never been richer. Curiously, he also does an inspired cover of our next track too... though sadly I can't find either of them on youtube.

2. Frank Sinatra - Witchcraft

Written and released in 1957. It's easy to think of Sinatra as being a big musical force in only the 40s and early 50s, disappearing off the scene once his nemesis, rock 'n' roll, arrived on the scene. Nothing could be further from the truth. This is a classic, whatever the era.

1. Donovan - Season Of The Witch

The film may have been a crock, but Donovan's 60s hit steals the broomstick from all other contenders. It's also the only truly spooky song on the list.



So... who did I forget? Or, as Scooby Doo would have it... which witch is WITCH?

The Small Hand

Susan Hill is the author of The Woman In Black and over 50 other spooky stories in the tradition of MR James and Shirley Jackson. Her latest tells the story of Adam Snow, a dealer in rare books who takes one of those pesky wrong turns without which so few of these stories would ever get told and ends up at a derelict house with an overgrown garden in the middle of anywhere. Something draws him to step out of his car and admire the view... and when he does, he feels a child's hand take his and begin to lead him away. He resists and leaves, but finds himself haunted by the memory of this small ghost over the weeks that follow... and drawn into investigating a dark mystery from his own childhood that may hold the answer.

As you might expect, this is a novel big on atmosphere, a masterclass in milking the utmost tension from a limited number of spooky scenes. Hill builds the mystery slowly while following Adam to a remote French monastery in search of a rare Shakespeare first folio, before he's lured back to the ramshackle garden where his adventure began for a cruel reveal. It's a short tale, expertly told. It's a few weeks since I put it down but vivid images linger.

THE 68TH ANNUAL GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS RESULTS

AND HERE ARE THE WINNERS...

1) BEST MOTION PICTURE - DRAMA


- BLACK SWAN
- THE FIGHTER
- INCEPTION
- THE KING'S SPEECH
- THE SOCIAL NETWORK

2) BEST ACTRESS - DRAMA


- HALLE BERRY (FRANKIE AND ALICE)
- NICOLE KIDMAN (RABBIT HOLE)
- JENNIFER LAWRENCE (WINTER'S BONE)
- NATALIE PORTMAN (BLACK SWAN)- MICHELLE WILLIAMS (BLUE VALENTINE)

3) BEST ACTOR - DRAMA


- JESSE EISENBERG (THE SOCIAL NETWORK)
- COLIN FIRTH (THE KING'S SPEECH)- JAMES FRANCO (127 HOURS)
- RYAN GOSLING (BLUE VALENTINE)
- MARK WAHLBERG (THE FIGHTER)

4) BEST MOTION PICTURE - MUSICAL OR COMEDY


- ALICE IN WONDERLAND
- BURLESQUE
- THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
- RED
- THE TOURIST

5) BEST ACTRESS - COMEDY OR MUSICAL


- ANNETTE BENING (THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT)- ANNE HATHAWAY (LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS)
- ANGELINA JOLIE (THE TOURIST)
- JULIANNE MOORE (THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT)
- EMMA STONE (EASY A)

6) BEST ACTOR - COMEDY OR MUSICAL


- JOHNNY DEPP (ALICE IN WONDERLAND)
- JOHNNY DEPP (THE TOURIST)
- PAUL GIAMATTI (BARNEY’S VERSION)- JAKE GYLLENHAAL (LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS)
- KEVIN SPACEY (CASINO JACK)

7) BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM


- DESPICABLE ME
- HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON
- THE ILLUSIONIST
- TANGLED
- TOY STORY 3
8) BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM


- BIUTIFUL (MEXICO/SPAIN)
- THE CONCERT (FRANCE)
- THE EDGE (Kpaй) (RUSSIA)
- I AM LOVE (IO SONO L'AMORE) (ITALY)
- IN A BETTER WORLD (Hævnen) (DENMARK)
9) BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

- AMY ADAMS (THE FIGHTER)
- HELENA BONHAM CARTER (THE KING’S SPEECH)
- MILA KUNIS (BLACK SWAN)
- MELISSA LEO (THE FIGHTER)
- JACKI WEAVER (ANIMAL KINGDOM)

10) BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

- CHRISTIAN BALE (THE FIGHTER)
- MICHAEL DOUGLAS (WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS)
- ANDREW GARFIELD (THE SOCIAL NETWORK)
- JEREMY RENNER (THE TOWN)
- GEOFFREY RUSH (THE KING’S SPEECH)

11) BEST DIRECTOR


- DARREN ARONOFSKY (BLACK SWAN)
- DAVID FINCHER (THE SOCIAL NETWORK)- TOM HOOPER (THE KING’S SPEECH)
- CHRISTOPHER NOLAN (INCEPTION)
- DAVID O. RUSSELL (THE FIGHTER)

12) BEST SCREENPLAY


- DANNY BOYLE, SIMON BEAUFOY (127 HOURS)
- LISA CHOLODENKO, STUART BLUMBERG (THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT)
- CHRISTOPHER NOLAN (INCEPTION)
- DAVID SEIDLER (THE KING’S SPEECH)
- AARON SORKIN (THE SOCIAL NETWORK)

13) BEST ORIGINAL SCORE


- EXANDRE DESPLAT (THE KING’S SPEECH)
- DANNY ELFMAN (ALICE IN WONDERLAND)
- A.R. RAHMAN (127 HOURS)
- TRENT REZNOR, ATTICUS ROSS (THE SOCIAL NETWORK)
- HANS ZIMMER (INCEPTION)
14) BEST ORIGINAL SONG


- “BOUND TO YOU” — BURLESQUE
- “COMING HOME” — COUNTRY STRONG
- “I SEE THE LIGHT” — TANGLED
- “THERE’S A PLACE FOR US” — CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER
- “YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF ME” — BURLESQUE

Season Of The Witch

So just before Christmas, we're at the cinema, me and I and P, about to watch Unstoppable (which I never got round to reviewing but it was all right, if you like based-on-true-story runaway train gubbins with Denzel Washington and the new Captain Kirk) when up pops a trailer for some new medieval action thriller with lots of dramatic set pieces, spooky intrigue and sexy witches. It was one of those trailers that build to a big, music-stopping reveal. Prior to the reveal, we were thinking: "this doesn't look half bad", "might be worth a go", etc.

And then the crescendo climaxed and in waddled Nicolas Cage.

A fat-faced, goateed Nicolas Cage in witch-killer armour.

At which point we all burst out laughing. "That looks stupid," we agreed. And that was surely the end of it.


Cut to: early last week.

"Do you fancy going to watch Season of The Witch?"

"I'd rather pluck my own eyeballs out with red hot sugar tongs."

How soon we forget...


Somehow, against my better judgement, I & P persuaded me. "But, it'll be shit!" I argued. "When has that ever stopped us?" came the reply. Surely, they argued, surely it couldn't be any worse than Solomon Kane?


No further review is necessary. If you're dumb enough (as we were) to go see Season Of The Witch expecting any kind of entertainment - you deserve everything you get.


Despite the fact that I named him Number 8 on my infamous list of Top Ten Worst Actors In Hollywood a couple of years ago, I don't actually dislike Nic Cage. When he's on form, he can be ridiculously entertaining. His mental-as-anything remake of Bad Lieutenant with Werner Herzog last year was the best performance I've seen from him in years. Season Of The Witch was the worst. He didn't just phone this one in, he sent it via Morse Code. From the coma ward.

As for the script, when your very best line is...

"We're gonna need more Holy Water."

...well, quite.

5-IN-1 MINI REVIEWS (PART-5)

SPLICE (2010), EAT PRAY LOVE (2010), SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD (2010), THE NEXT THREE DAYS (2010), THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER (2010)



SPLICE (2010)

MyRating: YYYY

Director: Vincenzo Natali
Cast: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley, Delphine Chanéac, Brandon McGibbon, Abigail Chu
MPAA: Rated R for disturbing elements including strong sexuality, nudity, sci-fi violence and language
US Gross: US$ 17.0 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 25.7 Million

Two genetic scientists, Clive Nicoli (Adrien Brody) and Elsa Kast (Sarah Polley), broke the forbidden and cardinal sin in science when they blended human DNA in their experiment on splicing animal genes, which could revolutionize science and medicine for the human being's benefits. The result is a new female hybrid animal that they named Dren. At the beginning, she grows to become like a lovely human girl, with a tail. But when the animal instinct inside her bursts out, the unthinkable happens.

This is a sexy thriller with a sci-fi touch. I like the movie for it's interesting story, even though the theme was a classic one that we have seen so many times, about a science experiment goes wrong. But the formula worked. Decent performances from Brody and Polley, and both the young Dren (played by Abigail Chu who will make you care for her loveliness) and the adult Dren (played by Delphine Chanéac who will make you beware for her growing weirdness). The movie also tried to give a twisted final outcome, even though not difficult to be guessed. Some people may not like how the end turns out, but in overall, it was a good and satisfying thriller for me. (MJ)


EAT PRAY LOVE (2010)

MyRating: YYY1/2

Director: Ryan Murphy
Cast: Julia Roberts, Javier Bardem, James Franco, Richard Jenkins, Billy Crudup, Hadi Subiyanto, Christine Hakim
MPAA: Rated PG-13 on appeal for brief strong language, some sexual references and male rear nudityUS Gross: US$ 80.6 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 204.5 Million

Adapted from the best seller memoir of Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia (2006).

Julia Roberts played as the author, who despite of having a husband, a house and a career, yet still feels unhappy and so lost in her life. Decided to divorce her husband, she then takes a trip to travel around the world to find her true self and what she really wants in life. From Italy, where she finds the excitements of eating good foods, to India, where she learns how to control her uneasy mind and heart through praying, and finally Bali, where she discovers the harmony of her life and maybe, her true love.

Some people thought that this movie was boring, but for me it was quite an enjoyable one, as I like travelling, and I like to see new and beautiful places, and the story behind the roadtrip. The reason why Liz Gilbert chose an extreme path to find herself, including took a divorce, may not make any sense, but that was one 'brave' decision, despite whether it was right or wrong, that if she stayed in her comfort zone, she may forever trap in her unhappiness. And she may never experience all the things that she experienced, if she decided that 'life is not too short to let the things flow as the way they are'.

Another thing that made this movie special for me was because one third of the movie took place in the beautiful island of Bali, the island of the gods, the proud of my country, Indonesia. It is an exotic and culturally-rich island with lots of breathtaking views, beautiful beaches, sacred temples, and friendly people. Julia Roberts, even though not outstanding, appeared lovely here, as the Julia Roberts that we love. And there was also an interesting and natural performance by the first time actor, Hadi Subianto, as Ketut Liyer, Liz's toothless advisor in Bali. Christine Hakim, a senior Indonesian actress, appeared as Wayan, Liz's best friend in Bali. If you haven't visited Bali, then you should, especially if you like travelling. This island is a place to visit before you die. A place to be in the 'bucket list' of every traveller. Don't believe it! Then you have to come and experience the island yourself. (MJ)

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD (2010)

MyRating: YY1/2

Director: Edgar Wright
Cast: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Ellen Wong, Kieran Culkin, Alison Pill, Mark Webber, Johnny Simmons, Anna Kendrick, Jason Schwartzman, Chris Evans, Brandon Routh
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for stylized violence, sexual content, language and drug references
US Gross: US$ 31.5 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 47.6 Million

Adapted from the graphic novel series by Bryan Lee O'Malley, the film is about Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera), a young bass guitarist of a band aspires to be famous, who meets and falls in love with the girl of his dreams, Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). But to win the girl, he has to fight the 'seven evil exes', who are also the seven ex-lovers of Ramona. And the battles that he has to go through are the battles to the death, as they are really pissed off and do not hesitate to wipe him off the earth.

This is a stylistic movie with innovative, colorful, and eye-popping visuals for MTV generations. A lot of actions with comical interpretations, yet violence. But the script was not as impressive as the visuals. And the story somehow felt repetitive when Scott has to deal and defeat the seven enemies, even though I realize that those were also the main attractiveness for many people and fans. Interesting appearances by Chris Evans, Brandon Routh and Jason Schwartzman as three of the 'seven exes', but the performance of Michael Cera was really annoying for me. He may fit his timid character, I don't know, but the way he acted and sounded just gave me a confirmation that he is a bad actor. Not really liked the story. Maybe not my cup of tea. (MJ)

THE NEXT THREE DAYS (2010)

MyRating: YY1/2


Director: Paul Haggis
Cast: Russell Crowe, Elizabeth Banks, Liam Neeson, Olivia Wilde, Michael Buie, Jason Beghe, Aisha Hinds
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for violence, drug material, language, some sexuality and thematic elements
US Gross: US$ 21.1 Million
Worldwide Gross: US$ 41.7 Million

Russell Crowe played as John Brennan, a husband who tirelessly tries to find a way to free her wife from jail by proving that she is not guilty. Lara Brennan (Elizabeth Banks) was arrested for murdering her boss after they had a quarrel at work. But all the evidences at the crime scene, including the fingerprints on the murder weapon, indeed proved that she was guilty. After years of wasted efforts, while the hopes for her wife to ever walk out of prison free start to fade away, John becomes obsessed with the idea of breaking her out of jail. And when he realizes that all doors have closed for them and there is no other way out, John decides to really break her out.

This is a remake of the 2007 French film Pour Elle (Anything for Her) by Fred Cavayé. A very promising story but with a not so satisfying result. The story development was too slow and repetitive, including showing how Crowe again and again failed in his attempts to free his wife, in which some of the scenes, in my opinion, were unnecessary to repeat. The story also made itself to become complicated, while it actually should not. I was hoping something big will happen up until near the end of the movie, but when the end result did happen, it was nothing big. It rather fell flat actually. Good performance by Russell Crowe, as usual, and I always like him. But this is not a very good movie of Crowe, which I could take the conclusion only after finishing the whole movie, which was below the expectation. (MJ)

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER (2010)

MyRating: YYY

Director: Michael Apted
Cast: Georgie Henley, Skandar Keynes, Ben Barnes, Will Poulter, Gary Sweet, Laura Brent, Tilda Swinton
MPAA: Rated PG for some frightening images and sequences of fantasy action

The world of Narnia returns with its third installment of the C.S. Lewis' epic fantasy masterpiece series. This time Lucy and Edmund Pevensie (Georgie Henley & Skandar Keynes) are transported back to Narnia along with their unfriendly cousin Eustace Scrubb (Will Poulter). There, they join with Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes) and his men, in their quest across the sea aboard the royal ship of The Dawn Treader, in order to rescue the seven lost Lords of Narnia. A perilous journey that once again brings them to encounter various kinds of wonderful and magic creatures, as well as deadly enemies that will endanger their lives.

A good family film and follow-up in the Narnia series. An enjoyable story, with good and beautiful special effects, some decent battles, and some good laughs. There were also plenty of fantasy creatures, like the talking warrior mouse, the dragon, minotaurs, fauns, sea creatures, and of course, Aslan the Lion, a guarantee for kids' delights. But I have the feeling that I've seen all these before. What interesting the most was the performance of Will Poulter as the obnoxious and stubborn cousin. He was very-very good, with his natural and fun to watch acting. He actually stole every scene he was in, and made the scenes without him becoming less interesting. This is a standard and decent Narnia movie, nothing really standout and not that memorable, except for the Eustace Scrubb character. Nonetheless, still a good one though. (MJ)

MYMOVIE CRITIC - REVIEWING MOVIES FROM AN AUDIENCE'S STANDPOINT