Specially for Lee at Quit Your Day Job... and anyone who might be considering packing it all in and joining me on the scrap heap / glorious golden road to success and riches (delete as applicable).
10. Elvis Presley - Guitar Man
(From 'The Essential Elvis Presley')
If you're thinking of taking the plunge, Elvis advises caution. Don't jump till you've got somewhere to jump to...
Well, I quit my job down at the car wash
I left my momma a goodbye note
By sundown I'd left Kingston
With my guitar under my coat
I hitchhiked all the way down to Memphis
Got a room at the YMCA
For the next three weeks I went hunting them nightclubs
Looking for a place to play
Well, I thought my pickin' would set 'em on fire
But nobody wanted to hire a guitar man
One of my very favourite Elvis tunes, written by Jerry Reed. There's also a cracking version by The Jesus & Mary Chain from the old NME compilation The Last Temptation Of Elvis.
We don't need no guitar man, son!
9. The Ramones - The Job That Ate My Brain
(From 'The Chrysalis Years Anthology')
You have to wonder what employer in their right mind would give these scruffy toe-rags a job in the first place?
I can't take this crazy pace.
I've become a mental case.
Yeah, this is the job that ate my brain.
8. Tennessee Ernie Ford - Sixteen Tons
(From 'Tennessee Ernie Ford The Greatest Hits & More')
You think your job's bad? You could be loading sixteen tons of coal a day with nothing to show for it but being "another day older and deeper in debt".
The Johnny Cash version is also worth a mention. The Johnny Cash version is always worth a mention.
7. The Enemy - Away From Here
(From 'We'll Live And Die In These Towns')
Does this sound at all familiar to you?
I'm so sick, sick, sick and tired
Of working just to be retired
I don't want to get that far
I don't want your company car
Promotions aint my thing
Name badges are not interesting
It's much easier for me see
To stay at home with Richard and Judy
Fans of The Jam (see below) may answer that it sounds a little too familiar...
6. Drive By Truckers - This F*cking Job
(From 'The Big To-Do')
Well, yes, but there's no need to swear, is there? I'm trying really hard to clean up the language round this blog these days...
Workin' this job is a kick in the pants
Workin' this job is like a knife in the back
It ain't gettin' me further than the dump I live in
It ain't gettin' me further than the next paycheck
5. The Flaming Lips - Bad Days
(From 'Clouds Taste Metallic')
See, if you ask me, the Lips have a rather extreme way of dealing with the problem...
You hate your boss at your job
But in your dreams you can blow his head off
In your dreams, show no mercy!
But only in your dreams, obviously. I'd never condone this course of action in real life. Unless your boss is an absolute...
4. Alan Jackson & Jimmy Buffett - It's Five O'Clock Somewhere
(From '34 Number Ones')
The sun is hot and that old clock is movin' slow,An' so am I.Work day passes like molasses in wintertime,But it's July.I'm gettin' paid by the hour, an' older by the minute.My boss just pushed me over the limit.I'd like to call him somethin',I think I'll just call it a day.
The pristine white stetson, the perfectly trimmed moustache... Alan Jackson is probably everything you hate about modern country music, right?
Well, you know what? Stuff you! It's five o'clock somewhere...
3. The Jam - Just Who Is The Five O'Clock Hero?
(From 'The Gift')
Who'd ever have imagined Paul Weller and Alan Jackson would be singing from the same hymn sheet? I guess hating the 9 to 5 really is universal. Hell, just ask Dolly Parton!
It seems a constant struggle just to exist
Scrimping and saving and crossing off lists
From this window I`ve seen the whole world pass
From dawn to dusk I`ve heard the last laugh laughed
I`ve seen enough tears to wash away this street
I`ve heard wedding bells chime and a funeral march
When as one life finishes the other one starts
Alright then love so I`ll be off now
It`s back to the lunchbox and worker management rows
There`s gotta be more to this old life than this
Scrimping and saving and crossing off lists
2. The Smiths - Frankly, Mr. Shankly
(From 'The Queen Is Dead')
Considering Morrissey famously sang "I was looking for a job and then I found a job - and heaven knows I'm miserable now", it's no surprise he'd end up writing another song about hating the boss of his record company (Geoff Travis - who apparently did write bloody awful poetry).
Frankly, Mr. Shankly, this position I've held
It pays my way but it corrodes my soul...
I want to leave
You will not miss me
I want to go down in musical history
Who wouldn't feel more fulfilled making Christmas cards for the mentally ill?
Still Mr. Travis might console himself with the knowledge that Morrissey could probably have written the same lyrics about any of the many, many record company bosses he's encountered since leaving Rough Trade. Well, when you go in with that kind of attitude...
1. Johnny Paycheck - Take This Job And Shove It
(From 'The Best of Johnny Paycheck')
There were a lot of country songs on this list, even for a good old boy such as myself, but jacking in your job is obviously a recurring theme in that genre - probably more so than any other. And there's none more direct than this old classic from the aptly named Johnny Paycheck... can you think of anything better to sing as you're walking out the door?
If you can, leave it with your keys in the comments...
