THE SORCERER'S APPRENTICE (2010)

MyRating: YYDirector: Jon TurteltaubCast: Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel, Alfred Molina, Teresa Palmer, Toby Kebbell, Omar Benson Miller, Monica BellucciMPAA: Rated PG for fantasy action violence, some mild rude humor and brief languageThe Sorcerer's Apprentice is a classic ballad poem by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1932), a well-known German writer, written in 1797. The story of the poem, which...

Glover's Mistake

David's blog was his counter-plot and everything was up for judgement and redressal. If he watched TV or read a book, was delayed by roadworks or bought a sandwich, he'd blog about it. Then the comments from others might appear. It was peculiar what brought people to his site. Anything and everything. And when they arrived they'd look around, then join in. People take so much shit that they'll jump...

DESPICABLE ME 3D (2010)

MyRating: YY1/2Director: Pierre Coffin & Chris RenaudVoice: Steve Carell, Jason Segal, Russell Brand, Julie Andrews, Will Arnett, Kristen Wiig, Miranda Cosgrove, Dana Gaier, Elsie FisherMPAA: Rated PG for rude humor and mild actionDespicable Me is the first 3D computer-animated feature film from Universal Studios and Illumination Entertainment. Talking about computer-animated film, Disney/Pixar...

I Love It When A Film Comes Together

The A-Team movie didn't do as well as expected at the US box office. It lost the battle to another 80s remake, The Karate Kid. I had a hard time understanding why before I'd seen the movie. As a child of the 80s, while I thought The Karate Kid was an OK flick, The A-Team dominated my youth. I loved that show, and I'd been looking forward to a big screen remake for years. We've had to wait a few more...

Status Anxiety

Yesterday, as part of my working day, I had an awkward meeting with a client. I won't divulge their occupation, but for the purpose of this post, let's just call them a Successful Person. Someone who has worked hard in their chosen field to rise to a level of achievement that would be respected by others. A professional. I take such meetings from time to time, and it's no big deal. I may have a chip...

The Oh My! Meme

Not done a meme in a while, and nothing else is happening much at the moment...Stolen from Sunday Stealing...1. The phone rings; who don't you want it to be?Work. Or Tom Hanks. (Stop bothering me Tom, I'm not going to watch Toy Story 3 until they redub your bits.)2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your trolley?Of course. It's called civilization.3. In a social setting, are you more...

Thoughtballoons - The Punisher

This week's Thoughtballoons character is Marvel's never-smiling psychotic vigilante Death Wish-tribute, the skull-chested Frank Castle aka The Punisher. Often a bit of a one note character, he works well as a guest star / antagonist, but it's tough to make us care about him. It's also much easier to play him for bleak laughs - which was the temptation. Too easy...Read my 1 page Punisher story he...

Simon King's Wild Life

Wildlife photographer and TV presenter Simon King has led a very fortunate life. He's done what many of us aspire to - he's lived his dream. Simon's specific dream has always been to study and observe and get as close to the natural world as possible, and he's pursued that goal with a single-minded determination that is admirable. It's true that part of Simon's success is down to knowing the right...

30 Songs - Day 12

Day 12 - A Song From A Band You HateAnd no prizes for guessing who that band will be.Oh, how do I hate U2... let me count the ways. What's worse? Their world-conquering bombast? Their self-righteous pomposity? Their smug, humourless egotism? That blasphemous Spidey musical? (Oh, the horror.) Or just the fact that Bono is such a cock?As with many awful bands though - or at least many awful bands who...

The Rainbow Orchid - The Quest Continues

Fans of sumptuous, detailed artwork and rattling good yarns rejoice - Julius Chancer is back in the second thrilling episode of Garen Ewing's The Rainbow Orchid - available to order now. This time Julius's quest for that elusive flower takes him all the way to India where he has to contend with plane crashes, punch ups and the rare beauty of an angry maternal snow leopard*. It's all jolly good fun...

Inception

Sorry to say, my fears regarding Christopher Nolan's Inception came to pass. It's an enjoyable movie, yet I kept wanting to enjoy it more. It's a visually spectacular movie, but - as is often the case with Nolan - a somewhat cold and emotionally unengaging one. It's also overlong and unnecessarily complex. With its dream inside a dream inside a dream inside a dream plotline it felt like Nolan &...

Top Ten Movie Songs

No, not songs from the movies - songs about the movies. And no Celine Dion: guaranteed.10. Belle & Sebastian - Like Dylan in the MoviesStuart Murdoch's stalker anthem (one of many!) based around Dylan's famous promo film for Subterranean Homesick Blues. I'm not sure how the two connect, but when the end product sounds this good - who cares?9. The Auteurs - Underground MoviesAnother song I really...

I Write Like...

There's an online oojamaflip I've discovered which purports to examine any writing you paste into it and tell you which famous author you write like. Obviously I was eager to play along... Firstly I submitted Chapter 1 from my current in-progress novel... I write likeCory DoctorowI Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!Really?I've never read any Doctorow, but I understand...

The Wrong Knickers

Louise comes downstairs while I'm eating my tea."There's a pair of white knickers - from Primark! - in the washing you did over the weekend that AREN'T MINE.""Well," I splutter, "they're not mine!"I've never been accused of infidelity before, and though I don't believe Louise is seriously accusing me of it now, the very suggestion still makes me feel insanely guilty. I can feel myself blushing, stammering...

The Post-Birthday World

I always enjoy it when someone takes a genre premise and writes a serious literary novel around it, so Lionel Shriver's Post-Birthday World has been on my hit list for a while now. I was a fan of Shriver already from her last two books, Double Fault and We Need To Talk About Kevin , so I knew exactly what to expect - and this didn't let me down.PBW follows children's book illustrator Irina McGovern...

30 Songs - Day 11

Day 11 - A Song From Your Favourite BandAh, but my favourite band when? This week?This year? This millennium? ...of the 90s?...of the 80s?...of the 70s?...of the 60s?...of the 50s?Or... of all ti...

INCEPTION (2010)

MyRating: YYYYY + A CROWNDirector & Writer: Christopher NolanCast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ken Watanabe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Marion Cotillard, Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, Dileep Rao, Tom Berenger, Michael CaineMPAA: Rated PG-13 for sequences of violence and action throughoutDom Cobb (DiCaprio) is an extractor, a professional thief who has a very rare skill in stealing secret information...

Hootiebits The Magic Owl

I hate the abbreviation LOL. I hate it for its scandalous geeky shorthand. I hate it for its stench of hipster exclusivity. I hate it because I have an awful sinking feeling that it was originally devised as TEXT SPEAK - and I deplore the way TEXT SPEAK is destroying our language.I also hate it because it prevents me from saying that something made me laugh out loud without someone, somewhere thinking...

Predators

Unlike many of my peers, I don't consider the original Predator an action classic... so why, you might ask, did I go see its latest sequel?The truth is, I've been getting cinema withdrawal. With the exception of Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Orleans, which ran for about five minutes a couple of months ago and I missed because I was on holiday, there hasn't been one film I've remotely wanted to see at the...

Top Ten Television Songs

Well, I did radio, it only follows I continue with a list of my favourite songs about the idiot box...Special mention goes to two bands names after TVs - Television Personalities and Television. If I ever do a Top Ten about tents, Marquee Moon will be number one. For any Blur fans wondering where Graham Coxon's Coffee & TV is, I'm saving that for the Coffee Top Ten. No, seriously. 10. The Handsome...

Thoughtballoons - Aquaman

This week's Thoughtballoons character is Aquaman. Yes, the guy who talks to the fishies. I feel bad for Aquaman. Nobody knows what to do with him anymore. They're always killing him off and resurrecting him for cheap drama with some ludicrous new power of something, the latest example of which is just one more cynically death-obsessed reason why I don't read DC superhero comics any more. So this story...

30 Songs - Day 10

Day 10 - A Song That Makes You Fall AsleepBack in my early 20s, I went through the worst bout of insomnia I've ever suffered. I was working nights at the time, getting home at about 3am, then catching maybe a couple of hours sleep (if I was lucky) before dawn jolted me awake. This went on night after night for weeks on end. I went to the doctors, I chewed sleeping tablets like Opal Fruits, I did strange relaxation exercises involving lots of ommmmmms......

Funk

Some days you just wonder why you bother. The whole world seems against you and there's no point fighting it. Things you'd normally laugh off, or at least banish from your mind as inconsequential, rise up to become insurmountable. All effort seems pointless. You feel like you've wasted your life and it's too late to do anything about it. You feel old and worthless and tired, and you'd welcome armageddon as a relief. You stare blankly at the computer...

Synchrony Four

The long awaited fourth issue of Andrew Cheverton's small press anthology Synchrony has recently slithered out into the world and it's an enticing bag of genre-leaping shorts, beginning with Auto-Lolita, the story of a pleasure-droid with an attitude that goes beyond sexy. Then Chev teams up with West colleague Tim Keable for a flower picking, rooftop swinging, zombie-avoiding adventure called The...